Helping People grow!

Nuggets of Wisdom:

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.
– Corrie ten Boom.

If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever. – Dalai Lama XIV.

Let today mark a new beginning for you. Give yourself permission to say NO without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish. Anybody who gets upset and/or expects you to say YES all of the time clearly doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Always remember: You have a right to say NO without having to explain yourself. Be at peace with your decisions. – Stephanie Lahart.

It takes valor to identify your breaking points and refuse to allow people/circumstances use them to force you say/do things you don’t believe. – Assegid Habtewold.

We must say “no” to what, in our heart, we don’t want. We must say “no” to doing things out of obligation, thereby cheating those important to us of the purest expression of our love. We must say “no” to treating ourselves, our health, our needs as not as important as someone else’s. We must say “no. – Suzette Hinton.

If the person you’re talking with continues to press you for more or can’t seem to accept your answer, then you are being harassed. I know that sounds hard for people-pleasers to accept, but it’s true. No means no. – Suzette Hinton.

Until you learn how to confidently say NO to so many things, you shall always say YES to so many things. The real summary of a regretful life is a life that failed to balance YES and NO.
Yes! A life that failed to recognize when to courageously say NO and when to confidently say YES! – Ernest Agyemang Yeboah.

It is extremely important to be able to make negative assertions. We must be able to say what is ‘not me’ in order to have a ‘me’. What we like has no meaning unless we know what we don’t like. Our yes has no meaning if we never say no. My chosen profession has no passion if ‘just anyone would do’. Our opinions and thoughts mean very little if there is nothing we disagree with. – Henry Cloud.

 

 

SAYING “NO” IN A POLITE AND RESPECTFUL WAY START SMALL WITH YOUR “NO”.

Now that you have made some skills in recognizing and managing the fear that comes with saying “no”, it is time to start saying it.

It can be helpful to start small and start with less fear provoking situations to say “no” in. If the thought of saying “no” to your mother is still quite terrifying then don’t start with Mom.

If it’s your boss who you’d really like to start saying “no” to, but you are still too nervous, don’t start with her or him.

Start with safe people. If you have a good relationship with your sister, spouse or co-worker, start there. Look for opportunities to say, “no thank you” when they offer you something that maybe you don’t want (an extra helping of dinner, a coffee, a plant they are trying to get rid of).

If you are a person who has said “yes” to everyone and everything your whole life, you may run into some reactions of shock from others. They may try to ignore your “no” and push their offer on to you. You can breathe, and respond with, “thank you, I have thought about it, and I’m okay without it”.

It may take some time for people to recognize that you are setting a boundary and that you are keeping that boundary set. At first this may not be met with happy reactions.

By changing your regular response you are upsetting a system that has likely taken place for years. If you feel your fear/guilt/anger creeping in, pause, breathe and trust in the process of setting boundaries and asserting them with “no”.

Over time, as you continue to assert yourself, people will adjust and respect your boundaries. If they do not, you may be in the unfortunate position of evaluating the role you want this person to have in your life.

– Charlene Richard..

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