When people lie to us there are many signs, even people telling us and we ignore it.

I was living with a woman years ago, and she was going out with men while I was working 3 shifts. When I left for work at 4pm to work until midnight she would go to parties, get drunk, sleep with men, but to my face she was a hard-working dedicated women, who loved me and only wanted me.
When caught out she showed me that she could cry on demand, lie easily (her mother was the same) and she showed no remorse for lying to me and getting what she could from my heart and the relationship. She wanted two lives, one with a good man, and the other partying up, and so she created them both, and in the end got caught and broke my heart.

She went on to lie to other males, because she pretended to be the victim when she and I broke up, and she had no guilt lying to men she seduced, because the lying got her what she wanted. If men cried and were shattered from her behaviour, to her they were just weak men, people to adore her and to be taken advantage of. But you can guarantee, in her own mind she lied to herself about why she lied, why she didn’t care, and in her mind she is always the good person.

You see, liars love to lie to themselves as well. Lying to themselves helps them justify the lying, seeing a reason for lying such as, “I only lied to you to protect you.” and that sort of thing. Excuses for being mean, or being dishonest, cruel shallow, and selfish. This is why when you accuse that person of lying he or she will come at you like a furious steamroller, because he or she has already totally convinced themselves with lies that they are the innocent one.

Then there is the excuse, “Well if you were stupid enough to believe me, then you are the fool. You should have known better. And because you allowed yourself to be lied to, you deserve every bit of what you got.” – in other words they rationalize their bad cruel behaviour to being good decent worthy needed things to do to you, and when when totally caught out, they put the blame on the victim that they have been hurting for years.

Always be aware of people, and always trust your instincts, gut feelings, the red flags and warnings are always there, most of us just don’t want to see them.

I was once told by an old friend that the women mentioned above was seen in town with other men while I was working, when I confronted her about this, she said that the friend was jealous of us, and I believed her because I wanted to believe her. All the warning signs were there, and I was even told about her affairs, but I didn’t want to believe that she would do that to me, I didn’t want her to be a bad person in my heart, so I allowed her to talk me out of my instincts, gut feelings, and to not trust the very person who was trying to help me find the truth to free me from years of pain and suffering.

Please be aware of what is going on around you, and please be aware that the biggest liar in your life may actually be yourself.

Many of us become single and stay single and without any romantic relationships because we tire of being lied to and we tire of hoping, wishing, wanting an honest person, and when we don’t get that we lie to ourselves.