A known manipulators technique is to have an event happen, probably sad, or like a bad event, and have it involve a Narcissist and the victim, so that the victim assumes that the Narcissist and the victim are at one with each other, and they can bond on the sad, or tragic event, thus the victim feels that the Narcissist can be trusted faithfully as they were both together in the bad event. Having something that bonds them and that they have in common the victim lowers her boundaries to let the Narcissist in so that the Narcissist can get her trust and abuse her, lead her astray and so on.
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But at a more personal level, there are many people who suffer havoc in the workplace wreaked upon them by narcissistic bosses; such individuals are caught between the desire to provide for their family and the alternative path of confrontation, which risks unemployment. Then there are the women who suffer in their own home, caught between the desire to escape from a narcissistic husband and the need to provide a home for their children.
The vast majority of people, particularly in the western world, are either currently suffering at the hands of narcissists or have suffered at some time in the past, either in the home or in the workplace. But many don’t even realise it.
The best way to alleviate this suffering is through disseminating the knowledge required for innocent, decent people to recognise those who are currently causing their suffering, and to recognise those who are likely to cause suffering in the future if given the opportunity. In a democratic society we can vote bad politicians out if we are sufficiently well informed to recognise them; we can change jobs to avoid a bad boss, or we can even ensure that he isn’t promoted to a position of authority in the first place; and in the domestic situation we can avoid making a long-term commitment to a partner who will turn our lives into a nightmare once we are committed and it’s too late. But that’s only if we can recognise the narcissistic symptoms in the first place.
– David Thomas.
When you have a small body camera you can sew hidden pockets into your clothes and only allow the lens to be visible, but in it being so small it is hard to notice, especially on dark clothing or lettering on white or light clothing. This way you can touch it through your clothes and start recording. There are button camera’s these days, and the lens are so small it is hard to notice them, and many are built into some pretty amazing ideas like buttons, cuff-links, spectacle-clip-on’s, collars and so forth and so on.
I was speaking off Grace in the diary video for today as if she were a teenager. I just realized it. This is because when Grace left she was a teenager. I have not seen her physically since she left, so even though she has a child and her own family now, I still see her as a teenager because that is the last time I saw her.
She still can’t come to Tokoroa because of her anxiety over the Character Assassination and being victimized by the Beale family, their friends and especially Chelsea.
In the Depp Heard trial many famous people saw heard as a victim, but after hearing the audio tapes and on seeing other information they were shocked at how Heard treated Johnny and felt guilty for backing up and supporting Heard while she was victimizing Depp, and angry and hurt they now support Depp. They feel that Heard betrayed them and used them to help abuse Depp or win the trials.
A child looks for patterns and therefore meaning from very early on in life.
Initially, he or she views the world as a random set of events, some or all of which are emotional. It is the child’s carer, usually the mother, who imposes a pattern to these apparently random events. Healthy narcissism starts from a warm and responsive mother who accurately mirrors the child’s feelings and reflects them back. The mother is responsive and attuned to the child’s emotional needs. The child then develops a secure attachment to his mother and learns to know and accept himself for what he is. Over time, the child develops meaning and purpose. If the mirroring process is compromised – if, for example, the mother is unresponsive, immersed in her own feelings rather than those of her child – an insecure attachment is formed. By the time the child is one year old it can be diagnosed as showing the characteristic patterns of insecurity – avoidant, confused, clinging and unavailable.
This behaviour is a defensive response to parenting where the parent has put her own needs before her child’s needs.
Over time, the insecure child develops a strong need to keep his mother happy and support her feelings.
This represents the beginnings of a dysfunctional relationship, leading to an unhealthy emotional state for the child as it grows, with the possibility of it developing into narcissism or codependency by early adulthood.
A human child is totally dependent and at the mercy of other humans. From birth to their teenage years, human beings are almost entirely influenced by and dependent on their environment, which is usually controlled by their parents. So the physical and emotional growth of all newborn humans to the end of adolescence is largely dependent on their parents.
Children use their parents as role-models and mimic their behaviour in later life, particularly in relation to emotional issues.
When challenged, they [Narcissist s] always manage to move the blame onto others, using all of the psychological tactics at their disposal – denial, distortion, lying, and so on.
There is one large group of individuals who suffer at the hands of narcissists, but most of them do not even know it.
They are codependents, or co-narcissists.
This group of people are also victims of abuse during their childhood, usually being the children of one narcissistic parent and one codependent parent who used their children as repositories for their own emotional pain.
These codependents have been groomed by their parents to always take the blame, so when they grow up they are attracted to narcissists as spouses, bosses and friends, as here they feel secure; their relationship with their narcissist mirrors the relationship that their parents had with each other. The narcissist-codependent parent combination is also the ideal combination for producing malignant narcissists.
– David Thomas.