Helping People grow!

Years and years of being bullied by people had installed in my mind that I was an idiot, fool and hopeless. I had finally taken over and mentally abused myself very efficiently. In doing this I completely destroyed any chances of success, or help from anyone.

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And years of being physically, mentally and emotionally abused causes us to develop a habit of self destruction. We create in our own minds an imagined truth, an existence of self dislike, and it is very hard to get over.

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I had read biographies of people “breaking free” so I knew that it could be done, and none of the motivational books gave me a clue. So I set about doing it as each day went by, day by day.

It was a day by day battle which started painfully because I had to become totally honest with myself and face who I really was, and I had to face the wrongs that I had done to others in my life. I also had to face how other people affected my life, my thoughts and whether they encouraged me or they brought me down.

I came to the realization that this modern world is not natural, since we are a living part of nature then obviously our home is in nature, eating fresh natural foods and drinking fresh clean water etc.

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Then I worked at my thoughts. I figured that if the guy who was confident had good thoughts then obviously I could too. So I decided to listen to the thoughts in my head. I discovered that I said many bad things to myself, I called myself names, I mentally abused myself daily, hourly and regularly.

In self defeat and anger I also thought bad things about other people, unfair thoughts. I didn’t want to believe that I was the only loser in the world, so to cover up for the failings that I believed that I had, I saw faults in other people that often were not there. I was unfairly judging other people.

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Everytime something important came up, or a moment of achievement came my way I allowed my mind to imagine all sorts of negative outcomes of the challenge. My focus was on, “James you are a loser, you will always be a loser, and no matter what you do or try at this function you will fail, because you always fail. Failure is your middle name. So don’t be an idiot and even try.”

I would tell myself that everyone would not like me, and that my efforts were a waste of time, so it was safer to stay at home and never try anything again.

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I completely disliked myself. But even so, I was shocked to hear what I was thinking. I was shocked at what I mentally called myself. I was saddened by it all. So I decided that I was not going to entertain such negative thoughts again. The obvious thing to note is that we can obviously never succeed or even be happy if all that goes on in our mind is self hatreds and big put downs. I also realized that others were not encouraging me in any effective way so I needed to encourage myself. And it is wise to encourage ourselves from the inside anyway.

I previously would imagine little movies of what would go wrong in my mind as I did things around the house. And sometimes over and over again in a day leading up to a challenge I would mentally completely destroy any chance of success. I would ring people up and call off the event because I feared reliving another James Sandbrook disaster and failure, I didn’t want to be laughed at, and I didn’t want to hate myself anymore.

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Obviously it was time to take back my mind from the evil that was taking it over and destroying my life. At this stage I still didn’t like myself or believe in myself, I just knew that it was possible to be a better person.

And from there I refused negative thoughts. I would reject bad thoughts. And then one day I was invited to film and photograph an event with lots of people there. The days leading up to the event my mind got stuck in with the negatives, but I got very good at cutting off the negative thoughts immediately. I made it a challenge to cut off and refuse every negative thought. I treated it kind of like a game, and I was waiting for the negatives and I destroyed them immediately, and afterwards I would smile at each success and mentally pat myself on the back encouraging myself as I went on.

 

And if I realized that a negative movie scene was running through my mind telling me that I was going to make a complete fool of myself and that I would ruin the event for the organizers, I would cut it off, and then imagine the success and all the good that would come from it instead. This increase my happy feelings and thoughts about the upcoming challenge.

I offered myself good positive words of encouragements, I looked at the bright side, and when I got there I did everything slowly, carefully and with as much control as I could. And if I made a mistake I just moved on taking note not to do it again, and if someone else made a mistake I was quiet and graceful about it helping and encouraging that other person. As cameraman I was in front of many people. And at one point I did a scan of the room with my movie camera and was shocked at how many people were all around me and that could see me (I have always been very shy), but I remained calm and in control of myself because I was really getting used to talking positively to myself.

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The event, and leading up to that event, was a discovery of what I was capable of “if I had control of my own mind” and there is the secret to defy depression and self doubt etc.

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I have been writing about this change in my life for about 5 years and numerous people have said that the writings have changed their lives. So my sufferings and learning’s have brought other people to new discoveries within themselves as they too become better at controlling their own minds.

Anyone can do this, and that is because everyone deserves a new and good life ahead of them. everyone!

All the best from

James M Sandbrook.

9th of December, 2015.