James Herriot had a weakness, everytime Granville would suggest that they go for a drink (which meant that Herriot would get rotten drunk) Herriot would nod his head “No!”, and then Granville would give him a hurt look and Herriot would give in.
Here he is, a grown man, and he was easily seduced into doing wrong by a hurt look from his friend.
People can do that to us. Especially so called mates. But true friendship has no pushing in it, and no making us feel guilty.
Sometimes Herriot would put up a argument, but Granville would try another angle, until finally that hurt look and Herriot would collapse and do as he was told.
If anyone intentionally makes you feel guilty for not doing something that they want you to do, take a note, because you have a manipulator for a friend. get away fast. And especially get away if there are many of them trying to convince you, becasue the longer you argue the more excuses and darts they will hurl at you to weaken your resolve. This person/people is setting you up, and they don’t have to feel the pain of your fall.
Granville would offer Herriot a beer, and Herriot would say no, and then Granville would give him that hurt look and Herriot would give in and take the beer. Then Granville would offer Herriot a whiskey, and Herriot would be about to say No and Granville would shoot him that hurt look and Herriot would take the whiskey not wanting to hurt his friends feelings.
When Herriot was seriously sick from drinking Granville offered Herriot a big pickled onion, and to Herriot he felt that he would die eating it with the way that his stomach felt, and so he said “No!” and Granville gave him that hurt look and then went on about how he thought that his wife really did a good job of them, and it was a shame that Herriot didn’t like them etc laying down a thick layer of guilt. And Herriot felt so guilty he took it and ate it besides the way that he physically felt.
Be wise people. Never, ever accept people laying the guilt on you.
If you don’t want to do something, tell them so and refuse to budge even if they put on the hurt act, or if they come up with “reasons” to do as they suggest – remember, there is no common-sense, or logical, or fun reason to do stupid.
The truth is that there is no need to feel guilty because they are faking the hurt anyway. Like Granville they just want to get their own way with your life.
But also like Granville if Herriot has to stop and vomit on the way home, or have a drunken accident, hangover, diarrhea etc the next day, Granville does not have to suffer, only the foolish Herriot does.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
18th of January, 2018.
