As a human being we should want respect and a wonderful part of following God is learning that people should pay respect to one another. God wants our respect and regardless of what we did in the past God will respect you and I and take us to a new better more healthy loving life. God wants us to do the same for others. If a person comes to us for help we are to help guide them regardless of what they have done in the past to us, or to themselves, or other people – we are not to judge and this is forgiveness.
Some people are living such miserable lives without God that they would just cry their little hearts out if someone showed them respect and genuine kindness. I know because in the past I have felt this (like many of us) and when genuine care comes to us after years of being around false people, it really does bring instant tears to the eyes because we find someone who genuinely cares.
Part of the promise of a new life (All things become new) is the change in our life when we repent, (dislike the past and want to change) and now that we gain love, hope, respect and a new blessed future. Our life should be a continuous progressive change from the old ways to a new life guided by Christ.
There was this woman (and I have seen many women do this and a few men) who would weaken at a well chosen false compliment. This woman had a few daughters and when males would visit to get their hands on the teenage daughters all they would do is tell the mother how she looked young, pay compliments to her of all kinds, and this woman would simply emotionally hand her daughters to anyone who did that. If the daughter was not interested in the guy the mother (weakened from the compliments and smooth ways of the male) would try to convince the daughter that she should date this guy.
It didn’t help that often the mother would sleep (behind the daughters back) with the young men that payed her the false compliments because she loved the attention so much. This lady has mental issues, confidence issues, weaknesses and more. All this contributes to her being so easily weakened and used. Her lack of respect for herself or her daughters didn’t help. There are other cases that could be mentioned but I am sure you as well have come across people who are like this. Or at some time in your own life you may feel that compliments are a treasure to be gladly accepted.
Compliments can be accepted, (although when they come forth and you sense something false be guarded) but for me I see myself as myself and all the silly and good things that I have done. I look at who I am, what I am, what I have been through and how I need God and I refuse to let any compliments get to me. To me it is nice to be thanked for something I have done but that is as far as it gets me. I would never disrespect a person by paying them false compliments. Satan was a deceiver and we should be sure that we are not using the evil tool of deceiving others for any reason.
There are many reasons why a person could be willing to accept false compliments. One is a lack of confidence and a desperate want for attention and love. On the other hand a feminist may do this because of her hard attitude towards men, disbelief is godly love and lack of respect for her own children – her daughters would be guided or groomed to get pleasures from men for the sake of it and not for any emotional feelings. If she likes compliments and using men then she wouldn’t hesitate to offer her daughters to some young sweet talkers. A bad upbringing and life’s events can weaken people to accept any form of what appears to be love to feel good inside.
To some people false compliments are like taking drug pills, they boost their confidence for a short while and when they fall again, then they accept the false confidence greedily hoping that some day they will stay, but they never do.
Deep down inside we know that the false compliments are false but it is so simple to lie to ourselves and pretend that the compliments are real and that something great would come from them. Like in a romantic situation a female may want to escape from the home environment, and some guy just saying anything sweet and nice would be like a place to go to get away from the madness at home – or maybe she want the family and friends to see what a good catch she has and she can get bragging-rights for having his attention.
Deep down inside false-compliments will give us nothing but a short-term bit of (what seems like) fun and then nothing once the person is gone. The bragging rights are gone, the romance gone, the dreams and promises are gone.
This is why the life with God is the life that we should follow. God will treat us well, society won’t. God prepares us for living in society but separated with willpower from the ways and temptations of society. God will lead the single man and woman to someone to love.
Part of following God is growing in courage so that we can tell the difference between false people and true genuine people. We were not born to be used or abused – there is no respect in being fooled. The reason we are often told that God takes us from slavery and being abused is that we are awakened to the falseness of the world and then with courage and a new respect for ourselves we deny the people who try to fool us and we stand strong on our beliefs.
All the best
from James M Sandbrook.
Originally posted 9th of August, 2013.