Be With Your Children

Many parents today complain about their children’s behaviour. Many parents see “professionals” to get this behaviour problem sorted out, and many of these children are “labelled” in some way to satisfy the parents need to find an answer to the problem.

What really is the problem? The problem is that the people of the world over the last hundred years (and years before that to some degree) have changed our ways. What really has happened? The family is a natural unit. Other than you and I as a single person (an individual) the next logical and natural step in our lives is to have our own personal family once we are able to. Society today is not designed to help you and I have a family easily. There are many debts to pay. A home to buy, and on and on it goes.

Once we have a family we have two parents ( at least we should have two parents) or a single parent family. The Father and the Mother. One parent needs to stay with the children. In times gone by it has always been the female who has stayed with the children. This is not a new idea, this has been going on since the beginning of time. The Mother is ideally suited to bringing the children up and teaching them the ways of life. The Father also has a important part to play in this relationship, he will also teach the children and be a good example for them. These are the natural places for the male and the female in the family. The mother has a role and the father has a role.

Today we don’t see those roles as they are naturally meant to be played out. Many families now have the father looking after the children because the mother has left them to further her career, in some families the father is at home while the mother works. There are many variations of how the family unit has been struggling due to the parents not playing the natural roles they were intended to play.

Some parents often complain about the behaviour of their children. Example: Father is working 8 hours a day. Mother is working 8 hours a day. Their children Bob and Jane spend 6 hours in school everyday and also at least 2 hours in a child-care situation while both parents are working. The Mother and Father are often doing overtime to keep up with the things that the family “needs”. Things like a second car, swimming pool, new clothes, holidays etc. When they got married the father already had a car and now the mother can also afford a car as well. Neither car is fully payed off. Neither is the house payed for.

There are many excuses that both parents have for their current working situation. But the most damage they are doing is to their children who really do need their parents with them. They are also putting stress on their own marriage. No parent can complain about his or her children while he or she is spending large amounts of time away from those very same children.

A child needs the constant care of one adult over that child’s childhood. Constant care will help the child understand parent child relationships. The child will feel closer to the natural parents that he or she has. The child will get constant help and discipline form the one source – this will help avoid a lot of confusion in that child’s life. This has traditionally been the mother. As long as she is focused as a mother then she will guide the children through the childhood years. The father has an important part to play in this as well. He is to help guide his children.

All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
‎Friday, ‎9 ‎February ‎2007, ‏‎11:43:50 AM.