by James M Sandbrook
Feeling That You Belong and that you are part of the family.
The working person (mostly males from the past) sometimes finds it hard to understand the feelings of a housewife (or house person). One of the complaints of old was about a woman feeling that she was not appreciated or in some cases she felt that she was not loved. In the last instance she may make comments to her husband demanding or asking him to tell her often that he loves her. In the first instance she may demand or make some sort of fuss about people telling after a meal that they enjoyed it.
To feel a part of something is to feel that you belong in something. One worry of the housewife of the recent past (and even now) was that she didn’t really feel that she belonged. One reason for this was that she didn’t feel that she was of any worth other than to work and work. But what was hers?
Was the car hers? No, it is the family car which she drove the most. Some husbands had their own cars but she didn’t have a personal car, she had the family car. Even some teenagers got a car when he or she turned 18 or thereabouts. She did have her own clothes, but we all know that we all need our own clothes. Did she have her own…? It may take some thinking about, but hopefully you may come to understand this woman’s feelings when she just wanted to feel wanted, and she wanted to feel this way without having to ask for these things. She also didn’t want to feel that she was just another machine in the home to bring happiness and pleasure to those others who exist within the walls of the family home. This is not about material belongings that she may want to own, but it is about her feeling a part of the home as a useful item. And her deserving holidays and breaks “with” the family is important as well.
Most people after many years of hard toil will become disheartened with their work or life when others don’t show any appreciation for that persons efforts. Mind you, this also goes the other way as well and she needs to let her husband know that she appreciates his efforts to help her and their children by his working away (as most cases are) from the family home. His is often a grand sacrifice being away and not being able to enjoy those wonderful special moments with the children and with his wife.
You can live in a home with all the other members of your family and not feel a part of anything but work. It is a strange feeling. But a person feeling this way can eventually feel frustrated and lonely. People feeling like this can sometimes find friends away from the home, friends who will not necessary be worthy of her. Friends who will probably lead her astray, but at least while she is with these people she may feel wanted and needed. A housewife is an important member of all families (or house husband as the case may be) and this person should always feel good about her role in the home.
Of course “sweet talking to a person” is not a good idea as this treatment is false and it will eventually be found out. Be honest and appreciate your life with those who are other members of your family. Always be polite, always be thankful, and always show your appreciation of your families efforts to help you and to help one another. Spoiling and pampering your wife is not a good idea either. Manly she should be treated as you want o be treated and she should be with you on those special occasions an share the delights and joys of the other members of the family while also enjoying her own personal liking’s.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Friday, 10 November 2006, 3:25:44 PM.