Love
Did you muddle through the year, or did you make your year come alive with your commanding spirit of adventure? Or did you discover that you tried to avoid life?
Be honest so that you can get an accurate idea of your part in your own life. Only an honest humble look back will tell the truth.
Too many people accept “their lot” in life without ever wanting to change anything or to peek out of the “Society conditioned thinking ” that they have been groomed to believe, and have already accepted.
We can become so preconditioned to a way of life that we assume that it is the only way to live. Proof of this is when you see people living miserable lives, yet staunchly supporting their way of life.
Humans can become so used to their current way of life that they see nothing wrong in it, and when someone comes along and questions it, or offers something different we can get upset at them, or think that they are strange.
Some people become deeply pessimistic, like pessimism is a religion. And they refuse to believe in happiness, or that life could ever get better. To support their beliefs they stick to their miserable life and pessimistic thoughts religiously, ensuring that happiness never comes their way. They really don’t want to be miserable, but they don’t know a way out and they have lost faith in life.
When we are running our fastest we are delighted, when we are laughing our loudest we are so happy, when we push ourself to the limits and beyond we are pumped up with adrenaline and so excited about our efforts.
But when we do nothing out of the ordinary we are in the same routine, just getting by, just surviving, not taking chances etc. Their is no genuine living, we never peak at the top of the graph of life.
They say that the unfit body struggles to get the blood etc flowing through it. It becomes clogged up with fat, and all sorts of illness plague it, like shortness of breathe.
But the fit body soars through the day.
In New Zealand we are forced to have our cars checked to see if they are roadworthy. But as humans, many people don’t change to a healthier lifestyle until something bad happens.
We need to see the value of good decent living, and especially how a healthier lifestyle is very important for a good mentality, and spiritual awareness.
A healthy mind and a healthy body are obviously going to help you through life and last much longer. But in a society that promotes sin as normal and fun, people are partaking in their own unhappiness, ruining their own health, and heading for depression because material greed does not help the soul, it makes the body unhealthy.
Your mental health, your physical health and your spiritual growth all depend on your choices and personal courage.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Sunday, 26 April 2015, 4:15:18 PM.
She does not follow the crowd because she sees what their blind foolishness does for them, she sees where that foolishness will lead those in the crowd, and she sees what will become of them and their unfruitful ways in the future, she does not want their fate to be hers and her husband and children’s lives.
She is wise, she has a life of knowledge that she uses to help her choose the best path, create strong worthy boundaries, and stay on the narrow path of long-term godly and good living.
Her worth is beyond anything on earth, she is a treasure, blessing and happiness to her loving family. She is the spark of hope, love, and encouragement that gets them going each day.
She cannot be bought or owned by anyone, she is far too honourable and decent for that.
She suffers no fools, and she knows where she is loved, honoured, held dear, and appreciated.
She does not need to explain her actions, her feelings, her needs, or why she does what she does, because she is worthy, strong, and can do no other than be the wonderful example of who she was created to be.
It is in her own feminine self that she has discovered her most amazing powerful strengths. Her courage and compassion make her a formidable opponent and even her enemies come to respect her for her will and desire to do what is right, good and honourable. From time to time they may try to bend her, but they will never break her.
She has all the wonderful attributes of a humble, honest, loving soul, and this is seen in all things that she does.
She is responsible, and does her very best to make things right when she makes a mistake.
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All that know, love and appreciate her know that they are in good hands with her and that they can rely on her because her honest word is stronger than diamonds.
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But heaven help anyone who crosses her with trickery, dishonesty, evil, and those who try to take advantage of her.
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She is God’s warrior and strength in earth for all women and children, she is all goodness and what is required, needed, and wanted for a better world, and for the greater good of all.
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For her husband she is all that he ever wanted and needed in a woman, because she is in him spiritually, made for him (as he is for her), and they are together in an unbreakable bond stronger than any steel. They are each other.
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God loves her deeply.
She need not ever be afraid.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:35:02 PM.
He should seek her wisdom, her knowledge and her experience and thoughts in all that she does.
As she is the one side of the companionship, he is the other. Both blend together if their love is true. And in that special blending a mutual feeling of respect is given to the other. Both seeking one another’s council, both respecting the other’s opinions and thoughts on all issues that come up.
There is no competition to outdo the other, no looking to the past, but both bravely looking forward to the future and what they can do, as a couple, to help others, the community and their own children.
A man and woman who respect and love one another know true love and appreciation for each other. This spreads to their instinctive and genuine feelings for their own children, for nature, animals and care for their environment.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Saturday, 23 April 2016, 7:46:52 AM.
I believe that we cannot function well under such loads and cannot truly be joyful because there will be days when we remember that we didn’t do what our heart and conscience needed us to do.
Part of being at peace with our own self and with God is having the courage to do what we can to clear the way for a new future with no emotional baggage, because we have taken care of it.
To clear the way to a new future with God we need to remove the past darkness from our hearts and souls. And to do it honorably and with regretful humble hearts.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
23rd of March 2013.
This makes trying to convince them off their bad behavior very hard. The reason is because they justify all the mean and bad things that they do with what they believe are valid excuses. It is a form of delusion. These delusional thoughts are a part of the narcissists thinking.
When the narcissist is faced with an honest good person, but the narcissist hates that person (hating people that upset a narcissist is common for the narcissist), the narcissist will see only evil in the kind smile and wave of the kind person. Even if the good person does them a good deed, the narcissist will see imaginary evils in the good deed – basically they see things that are not there, they believe things that are not true, they stubbornly refuse to change, and if they have any control or power, the narcissist will proudly drown the whole family/friends etc with them.
The narcissist has a toolbox of tools that they use to figure what is happening around he or she. The tools are all based on the attitude, belief system of the narcissist, and these tools are often far away from the truth but they satisfy the confused and accusing mind of the narcissist.
The narcissist forms very false opinions of people, life and God. Narcissists tend to feel very sure of what they believe, and they are sure of what he or she believes about life and people.
When things start happening that the narcissist does not understand, the narcissist reaches for its tools and comes up with false conclusions.
Atheists put God in the fantasy section of the library and luck and coincidences in the truth section of their minds. In fact the whole of evolution (their religion) is based on pure luck.
With that kind of foundation beneath the narcissist they are completely lost to understanding God’s miracles, God’s Providence, and the wisdom of religious beliefs.
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Trying to convince a narcissist about God and God’s work in your life is practically impossible because the narcissist is on a completely different mental planet. And as goes on they must figure out for themselves.
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Some of us get thrown into the path of a narcissist, or a family of atheists and life becomes very hard for us as God tries to use us to get through to the atheists. This is a strong part of the life of the true believer.
The atheists can get scared at what they cannot mentally understand, and then they get nasty, and then they attack again and again, desperately trying to win. Refusing at all times to believe in God’s man. So his life becomes a suffering, because to him the whole thing is obviously impossible, but not to our stubborn God who hates to lose anyone to evil, and this poor man must put up with lies, gossip, false accusations, people making threats, etc. Lies, gossip, false accusations etc are all part of the toolkit of the narcissist. Using these tools is often how they “sort people out” and get their own way.
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Some people fear other people so much that all they see in the good person is a mirror vision of their own meaness.
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Like the alcoholic these people need to understand that somehow in their life they lost the plot (we all did) and formed the wrong opinions about life (we all have). And once this realization is made he or she needs to find out the truth of life. God loves them and is trying to save them from a future of misery.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Friday, 4 December 2015, 7:09:13 PM.
The same man is rowing his boat and a boat comes towards him and hits his boat. He sees that no one is in the boat so he maneuvers around the boat and then happily goes on his own way.
Even when another person is causing the problem, this is just how he or she is reacting to life, it has nothing to do with you or your character or your worth.
If the man in the first boat reacted as he did in the second example then both times he would have just peacefully moved on and not reacted negatively. The problem when we lose our temper, or we get upset, it is that often we can take things personally, and we feel offended etc.
We were taught in our security guard course not to take it personally if someone “vents” and to just let them have their fit and then to talk to them calmly, logically, and with common-sense reach out and help them understand what they have done wrong, or what needs doing.
Most attacks on us are a reflection of the other persons lack of confidence, their insecurity, and their lack of self control.
If we treat other people’s attacks and opinions not so personally and even consider that it is the other person who has the issue and not us then we won’t let their views, rants, attacks and opinions affect us.
We fight stronger if we feel good about ourself. And some people prefer that we take things in an insecure unconfident manner so that they can push us around.
Please reject and deflect other people’s views about you and your life. Honestly you know enough about you and what you feel, what you want in life, what you dream and desire, you don’t need other people interfering to confuse you and to make things worse for you.
Trust yourself.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Thursday, 3 September 2015, 10:40:44 PM.
If women are going to expose parts of their body that inspire a man to be sexually attracted to her then she is asking for trouble. The man is a victim of a sexually weakened society.
A modest woman dresses with understanding for the plight males are in these days. She understands that both the male and female have been mentally, physically and spiritually weakened by a society that uses sex to sell everything, put sex in all forms of entertainment, and encourages the selling of sex for money.
Women who dress to expose their bodies are deluded about their rights and what is truly fair.
It isn’t about being a prude, it is about self respect and not dressing to get attention, especially sexual attention.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Friday, 19 February 2016, 8:28:15 PM.
To change direction once we have learned that we made a mistake is to turn the mistake into a lesson, and then correct our path/life/direction, and then use the lesson to stop us from going back that way again.
To continue in the direction of the mistake is to change the mistake into a foolish action/habit/addiction etc. Because now you know that it foolish to keep repeating a mistake.
Even if we tell ourselves a lie by re-labeling the mistake to something that sounds more suitable, the truth is still the truth and we will still have to live with the results of the mistakes no matter what it is called.
People complain about life and how life is treating them, but if we are honest with ourselves we may find a few foolish choices that we are living with, that we may choose to look the other way so we can pretend that the mistake/s don’t exist.
Facing the truth and then making some strong life-changing-choices brings you and I freedom, confidence and stability.
Taking away mistakes or foolish choices from our life is not limiting our options. Taking away mistakes or foolish choices, gives us freedom.
One way of looking at this is that good things will not come from doing things that we know deep down inside are wrong. We must face the truth and make the right choices for our own life regardless of what others try to push is into.
Courage is doing what you know is the best thing to do even under pressure to do otherwise from others.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
November 10, 2013.
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It is only in true spiritual love that
2 + 2 = 1.
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The reason that you need to marry someone who thinks like you do is so that you will really get on.
I have known in my life many people who have gone to a place where people are drunk and take someone home, they sleep together, are lonely and they make it happen.
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But they have absolutely no idea what the other lines and dislikes. All they have done is share sex organs and lust.
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When we fall in love with a person’s character we fall in love with it because it suits our own character. In other words, we fall in love with someone who is like we are, kindred spirits, two of a kind, “the feeling is mutual”.
Then when married you will wake up two years after the marriage and still have many things in common, much to talk about and plan, and you will delight in each other’s company and bed time is sharing the boys of sex with someone who respects and loves you, and will never tire of you.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Saturday, 2 July 2016, 11:59:19 AM.
If the nice person is unconfident (and the narcissists will pick up on this), then the narcissist will try to find ways to stop the nice person ever gaining confidence because when one gains confidence then one starts to question what is going on around them.
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A narcissist wants to take advantage of a person, and they will milk the kindness from a good soul as long as they possibly can. When the narcissist sees that the good soul is gaining confidence (and that means soon thy will become suspicious of what is happening in their relationship with the narcissist) the narcissist will find ways to put the good person down. This keeps the victim “always second guessing what is going on” and never being sure what is true or false, and never able to have enough confidence to trust his or her own instincts.
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The narcissist may even fake situations to drop the confidence of their victims just enough to keep the victim a slave to be used and abused with clever words and friendship. Others may be brought in to help keep the victims confidence at a low so that the victim will be easily unconfident enough to be regularly mentally seduced into doing things and agreeing with things that he or she would never agree to if they were a confident person.
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If you find that you are in a relationship with a domineering person, probably a parent or boss, or some sort of public leader etc, and you never feel confident because it seems that you always getting things wrong, or that the other person is “kindly” reminding you of the mistakes that you have made, then please do look much closer into that relationship.
You may find that you are being led to succeed, and yet at the same time, you are always making mistakes, or doing something wrong in the eyes of the domineering person.
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In some cases that I have come across a parent, boss or friend can really be using a person and the victim has nothing but love, forgiveness, and second-chances for their narcissist domineering controller type/s.
It is this devoted forgiving kindness that the narcissist loves to take advantage of. And as nice people it is up to us to recognise when this is happening to our own lives and to get away and this will stop this mistreatment of our good character.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
6th March 2015.
Food would have no chemicals in it and water would be fresh and clean.
All forms of health (including dentists) would be free. The billions of dollars given to the government a week in Gst, taxes etc should be used as a direct benefit to the people.
We would make our own items in the country and people would work for each other and not for the rich.
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In the past there have been entire societies that have not used money at all.
Females are equal to men in such societies with organizing and leadership, and none put above the other.
People grew things and sold them for other things like clothes, shoes etc. The goal of the society was a good life. The goal “was not” to work our lives away for a few rich people who got the best of everything while those that worked for them struggled to survive.
People who live simple, help each other, maintain a peaceful community. This should be a goal for all of us.
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All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Wednesday, 20 April 2016, 7:21:34 PM.
This person loves the character and soul of one person, but sexually wants the youth, money, car, crowd and family acceptance of the other.
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This is hard when a person falls in love with a crippled person, or an older person, or someone of a different and family unaccepted race, or from a different level of financial class (the Middle Class looks down on the Lower Class etc).
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This person will want to be in the company and in the arms of the older person (also the person not acceptable to family and friends) and also wants youthful sexual activity. The younger man is seen as physically a catch, accepted by parents and friends, and so the pull off the mind outweighs the pull off the heart.
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The young man will win of course, but the regrets of not following ones heart a torment forever.
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Imagine dressing your children that came from a man you didn’t love, wedding photos on the wall, his family visiting etc. There will be a lifetime of reminders of making a choice to satisfy everyone else, and to ignore ones own heart and soul.
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Following the heart is the right thing to do. At least it is a decision that is based on heart felt want and spiritual need and not just based on physical want.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Sunday, 28 February 2016, 8:58:41 AM.
A person does not protect children and their environment by just saying that they will,
or that they love children and do what is best for them, politicians do that all the time and seldom put such promises and statements into actions.
It is what a person does, and the risks that they take to get it across to people that giving their children a wholesome decent environment and teaching good morals and how to be a decent honest, truthful soul, that shows love and commitment to children.
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Please don’t be fooled by people’s words. Words are cheap. Actions, taking risks, doing something, is what gets things done.
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Always be wary of the person who claims to support what you support, but they attack and run-down the good soul who supports what you support – these people have a personal agenda they is not honest.
People who are honest with you will openly support people doing honest good work. People who are like you will stand by you openly and honestly.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:35:02 PM.
He was seen by many as you a bad person. But in all my feelings with him I found him to be a kind honest person.
But no matter what he did some people never got over what people had said about him.
The power of gossip or lies can have an amazing affect on some people. It seems to be as if the gossip is tattooed on their brains and that is what they think of immediately on sight of that person.
Some people can drive themselves to fear someone, and the whole logic of the fear is completely unfounded, yet it is a solid brick wall between the two people.
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But the most astounding thing is “the available evidence showing the person’s innocence”.
He did so many good things for people, was charitable, but the suspicious people saw evil in his goodness, because evil was in their suspicious fearful minds first. It did not matter what evidence they saw, they refused to see the truth, and my friend suffered from that. But the suspicious suffered by not having his friendship.
Over and over again I talked to people in defense of friends, and I have been completely amazed at their absolute, complete, total conviction that a good honest person is a dishonest person.
I greatly dislike seeing innocent people made victims of treated bad. And I defend them, but only some people finally see the light, many don’t.
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Look at Jesus, totally innocent, but once suspicion was made by the authorities, many people joined in the attack because of false accusations, lies and gossip spread about Jesus a few years back.
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Lots of people in the USA West were hung in the 1800’s based on gossip, unfounded fears, and lies. Same thing happened with the witch hunts.
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Another sad result of lies (that I am always being reminded of in my own life) is that when people have been told lies about us, and finally they see the truth, those that are blind to truth hang on to the dishonest theories based on lies, and gossip etc, they unfairly get upset at the ones who have discovered the truth.
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Truth is an in action and evidence, Not In Heresy.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Saturday, 19 March 2016, 10:01:36 AM.
A person who is doing you wrong will obviously never admit that he or she or both parents, have done you wrong.
And if you bring it up he or she, or both, will be sure to make sure that you feel very guilty for ever suggesting such a thing.
Face the facts that if you suspect that you are being mistreated that you are never going to get honesty from those who have mistreated you. Because once you find out who they really are, then they won’t be able to ruin your life anymore.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Tuesday, 8 March 2016, 9:58:37 AM.
It can be very shocking, stunning, and sad. But if it’s also good because you have come from the darkness of lies and trickery, to the amazing clearness of truth and happiness.
Once the truth is clear, future decisions become clear, and a completely new path appears before you. A path that is sometimes the complete opposite of the path that the lies were taking you on.
Revelations open our eyes because what we once believed was true becomes false, and what was once seen as false and wrong becomes truth and right.
This is like some western movies that I have seen. The main female falls in love with the new ranch hand who is an honest guy. He tries to get it across to get that her family are cheats and taking advantage of others because he loves and cats for her. But she is completely deluded because she loves and trusts them, and for all her life they have come up with what seemed like reasonable “excuses and reasons” for their unfair ways.
As the loving doting daughter she wants to believe in her parents and what they do, so she willingly accepts anything that they tell her, and she carefully looks away and pretends to not see the truth when it is unavoidable.
The new ranch hand only owns his horse, gun, and saddlebags. He is very poor by her families standards, so her parents say that he is a nobody (when they discover that he is about to open her eyes to the truth about them), and in panic they destroy his public image and sadly shrugs daughter struggles and eventually sides with her parents. Until something happens and finally she has a revelation that reveals the truth to her. And her family pay for their crimes or become apologetic and support the marriage (it depends on the movie).
Once a revelation is revealed to a person they’re are only two choices. Go for the new path, or go back to the old.
One is slavery, one is freedom.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Wednesday, 15 June 2016, 10:40:30 PM.
If you are insecure you will buy their beauty products, medicine’s, mental health drugs, fashions, fads, anything you can buy to give you short term self belief and confidence.
It’s all about making a, profit, the economy.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:34:24 PM.
Like a diary, but also a person/common sense book.
For instance you get invited out by a friend. You log the event, the invitation in the book, who invited you, what they said etc. Then after that event, write down so that happened.
This is a good way of recording who set up your events and what was the result. By doing this you can also see what friends are actually doing your life some good and who are not.
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Say Misty asked you to an event that went wrong, but you like Misty as a work mate and she seems genuine, so you accept her invitations to go out. They all seem to turn out wrong. But because you have this “pleasant aura” surrounding Misty you cannot see that Misty is deliberately trying to set you up for failure etc.
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There are many people who “play the game of friendship”, and the last thing that they want to see is you succeeding.
Get your mind into “Observing Mode”.
Tell yourself to write down everything and about everyone.
Keep this information in a very safe place. Don’t let anyone near it, especially family. Keep this to yourself.
By doing this you will gain your mind to be every observant and always watching, comparing, checking out people and situations etc. This way people won’t play you for a fool.
Also you won’t be a sucker for a person’s looks because you will find that so 6th observing people comes the realization that the pretty and handsome people are often the one who one should not trust.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Sunday, 19 June 2016, 8:39:22 AM.
Something all young adults should understand is that there is a very reasonable chance that the goals they set out for while young will not be their interests that they have in their 30’s. And then in their 40’s they will have completely discarded the goals of their teenage years, and will be chasing different dreams, and so on through the years.
Personally I have had many goals, and many of those goals of the past that I put many years effort into I have no interest in anymore. But I discovered with time that there are many more important things to life than material gain, money etc.
Goals are important, but they are nowhere near as important as developing a good character and helping others.
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Your maturity, honesty, decency, good work ethics, good parenting skills, etc are far more important than any career or material gain. Your goodness towards others will come back to you in rewards, love and thanks from other people who deeply and emotionally appreciate the blessing that you have been in their lives.
This is obvious when we look back at bad teachers that we had, dishonest shop people, dealing with a big well known company and getting ripped off, a doctor not listening to us and failing to diagnose our problems, causing is unnecessary suffering. They all have successful careers, but fall short with good standards, honesty, and may not have good work ethics.
Then you meet the elderly man who has a a vegetable stall at a market and he goes out of his way to get you what you ask for. He listens to what you have to say, shows compassion, and his goal is “people and not money”. He survives and is loved and that is what makes him happy.
When people are “focused on goals” they can become less focused on the important things in life. They fail to see the beauty, good people and fun that is all around them.
Good loving communities don’t come from people who are focused on themselves, money, career and materialism.
Good loving communities come from people who see the value of having good values and creating families that will be a asset to the world and in the local area.
Mature people can see the foolishness of chasing pointless goals.
The wild, carefree, irresponsible lives of many of today’s youth is a direct reflection of a society that is based on materialism and the hunt for personal gain, personal entertainment, personal satisfaction, and living for ones self.
If the young are taught to focus on themselves, then they will. If they see that their parents are focused on themselves then that is the example that the young will follow, and if others encourage the young adults to focus on career, and materialism then they will. But the result is adults who suffer from apathy.
Heavily self-focused career seekers suffer from lack of compassion and have little or no empathy for others, the community, the country and planet – political people are an example of this. They talk about compassion, about looking after the needy and less fortunate, but their actions show that they are only trying to talk you into giving them your money and votes.
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Sure families still exist, but they are often in this modern world a shallow comparison of the wholesome families of the past. Good values were taught in the home in the past, and the parents were good examples of what they taught their children. Good behavior and good manners were taught, and young people were encouraged to be responsible because it made them into stronger more worthy people that they would be proud to be.
Goals, school education and such have their place, but there is a lot of values that are not reaching the rewards of the young, or if they are being taught the personal rewards of of being responsible, honest, compassionate and worthy is not sinking in.
The young of today are not failing the older generations, it is the older generations who have allowed themselves to be drawn to believing that a materialistic world is what life is all about.
Getting back to the basics of parenting, of life, and being responsible for our own character, and being responsible for our own children’s upbringing with a desire to bring up decent, responsible, honest citizens as part of the main goals, will bring back the communities that are working together as one for each other.
This of course means personal sacrifice, but genuine love for one another is about personal sacrifice for others. If we all have the same desires for a better world, an honest community, and people of God standards we, the adults, have to do our part. This kind of effort is never regretted.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Thursday, 10 March 2016, 7:54:51 PM.
About math, writing and the basic education. Before public schools these things were learned at home. The child would be asked by the mother to get 5 carrots, 1 cabbage, 4 onions, 2 tomatoes, out of the garden for dinner that evening etc. This was a natural way to learn how to remember items, to count, to gather, to feel wanted, worthy, and to be responsible.
Other math, such as dividing wood lengths or fabric in half or quarters etc would be learned in daily life, including subtraction and multiplication. Items would be put into sets etc as well, and if the need was more complex math them it wild be applied and the children taught.
Science is taught at home in the art of gardening, metals used for making one’s own tools and sharpening tools etc, shapes for cutting and materials like wood and fabric-materials when they are in season, and how to use them for the best advantage of what it is intended that they be used for, and natural things like the study of the sky, stars, health of plants, animal health, human health, plants and such for medicines and natural painkillers, and the study of the human body for health reasons. Nature and useful science is all around us and used on a daily basis. A child needed to learn about the plants and what they were used for. For instance what roots could be ground down to make flour for baking, and what plants made the best ingredients for certain meals and drinks. They need to know at what time of year the plant or tree grows, and what to use for the same food in the other seasons when the plant is not available. Also certain plants can be used for clothing and when they are old they rot and go healthily and naturally back into the soil encouraging more growth.
Children naturally want to help out in the home. The love to mimic the adults. They naturally want to fit in and to be an important part of family life. If encouraged they will become an asset to the simple family life, and the child will be appreciated, his or her confidence will grow and a healthier mind will be the result.
Writing was taught by the parents. For instance notes were left when the family went out, and the note was to tell another family member what time that they would be back. Here we see that the parents taught the child about time and how it is measured, or they may just talk about noon, afternoon, evening, and morning etc. The days of the week are taught so that the children can prepare for events, and maybe for trade etc.
The seasons were noted and had to be prepared for because wood needed to be gathered, food harvested, seeds planted, soil prepared etc. The children did their part and felt like an important part of the family. This was all good confidence building experience and taught the importance of preparation, and the value of good honest unselfish work.
When the mother made homemade bread she taught her children about measurements so that the food would be nice and edible. The father taught about measurements when mending a fence and cutting posts to fit, or when fixing a chair, or when building a new dinner table or bench.
Hand, body and eye coordination came from this hands on experience. Learning to lift, hold, carrying etc came from this useful work that was designed to help the family survive. Measuring distance with the eyes or hands (sometimes without measuring equipment) was learned from experience.
And another important skill was learning to smell rain and storms before they arrived, and to trust ones own senses in the country or wilderness. One would be taught by parents about local animal life and what animals were dangerous and for what reason, and what to do if attacked or injured, and how to help others if they were attacked or injured etc.
All the basic first-aid skills were taught by the parents. For example how to set a broken leg, what to do if a local poisonous plant was accidentally eaten, or what to do in an accident etc. Also were taught what plants etc were dangerous and what was safe to eat etc.
Parents took this kind of teaching to their children in their stride, because it benefits everyone and it furthers the child’s life education.
Basic discernment skills were developed watching ones parents and how they dealt with strangers. Learning who to trust, what characteristics to look for in dishonest and honest people all came from living at home while young with our own parents, and learning from how they dealt with people and the world.
The importance of work was installed deep into the minds of the child, because this work meant survival and comfort (like getting the firewood cut and stacked to keep the family warm even the cold seasons arrived).
Math is obviously needed for cooking and working with wood, metal, and general work around the home. Math is also used when making clothing, for measuring out the sizes of the materials and writing was needed to record it all.
Art is part of the family life. Children when left to their own imagination will create and make things, they will sing, draw, run, climb, jump and in general have lots of fun and all without any teaching from adults. Adults can join in as well. And the parents to teach art. The father may need plans drawn for a chair and ask the children to put forward a drawn design. The mother may have dress patterns to design and draw. She and the children may design all sorts of creative things, as well as teaching flower arrangements, etc.
Children will test themselves by taking small risks in general play, and their confidence grows from that. This is the natural way that children have learned since the beginning of the human race. Trial and error. Discovering for themselves what is the right way to do something without help from adults. This is how lessons of life sink in permanently in the child’s mind. If they get hurt they tend to either not do it again, or the child will be much more careful in the future.
The best way to learn a lesson is by trial and error, not in the perfect non-risk setting of the modern classroom. School classroom teaching breeds children who have “coping issues, and lack of confidence and a lack of true courage”.
The physical exercise from gardening, cutting wood, walking, running, working around the home is the exercise that brings for natural muscle mass, strength, and confidence in the persons ability to function physically in the world. This kind of exercise keeps one fit and healthy and sets up the natural body structure for the life of the person. Living like this takes away the need for diets and gyms, because all fitness is natural and healthy for the body.
Because the farmers brought tractors and rotary hoe type machinery they had no use for horses anymore. But horses provided a natural daily source of compost, and so did the other animals on the farm or backyard of the home of the past. For example the horses waste was used in the country gardens and that brought forth large healthy crops. When the horses plowed the fields the horses naturally went to the toilet and that added natural compost to the soil. Today the farmers use tractors and buy a mix of chemicals and other materials to fertilize the soil. This is unnatural and unhealthy for the soil in the long run.
It is only in modern times that we decided to grow worthless well trimmed lawns, and try to make our yards look like “perfect homes” etc. And in doing this we traded away our source of fresh, clean, non-polluted, and chemical free food for looks. In need of food we came to see the Supermarket as the correct source of nutrition for our family, after all the authorities told us so (to promote spending, and the result is growth in the supermarket industry) . But what we really got is food with chemicals in it to preserve its shelf life, and to cause us health problems.
Modern wood is preserved and is often called Treated-Wood, to make it last longer. But this makes the once healthy wood a poison. Preserved wood should not be used around vegetable gardens because it let’s off poisons into the soil, and the plants eat this and we eat the plants. By preserving wood we removed many jobs because there was less need for replacing rotten wood, and we are destroying the environment because eventually this wood will end up in the soil. The ashes from preserved wood is poison and shouldn’t be put in the gardens. Wood that is not treated is healthy and rots, and broken down (rotted) fertilizes the ground and new growth comes from it.
The whole world is based on living-cycles. All things that live, are born somehow and grow, then die, and when they die they go back into the soil to promote new growth. It is the original natural process that brings fourth new life, feeds it, and starts all over again.
When society becomes greedy and selfish, shortcuts are taken to bring in more money, the waste (plastics, rubber etc) goes back in to the soil and kills everything around it.
As you can see schools are not needed for children up to 14 years old. They learn all that they need to learn at home with their parents. This is how it had been done since the first humans, except very recently.
Children learn best from those who they love and respect. Children need their parents so that they can learn gender identity, manners, and now to react to life, and how to cope as a parent, and person.
The outside influence of schools and many hours with school friends confuses and influences the young mind. Often this leads to unwanted peer pressure, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, gangs etc.
The social structure that is weak is not going to give our children a solid foundation to live by. So we need to remove our children from a weak failing society and teach them how to live as children have been taught successfully going back to the first humans.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Sunday, 20 September 2015, 9:05:12 PM.
Even if we do something on a regular basis that seems fun and innocent it can still be an addiction.
One of the reasons that it is so hard to convince someone that he or she has an addiction is because they see their addictive behaviour as normal. It is especially hard helping people who have addictions if society promotes the behavior and supports it.
It is said that the “regular” activities that we do can be addictive. Like someone can be addicted to sex, but he or she just feels that they love sex and they want lots of what they like doing.
A person could be just as addicted to masturbation, and they find themself drawn to masturbation but they are never really satisfied because they want to do it often. People can be addicted to work. Or having a few drinks of alcohol after work each day, they don’t have to get drunk.
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A guy or female who has casual sex with different people every now and then may tell themself that it is fun, a lifestyle choice, and exciting. But the reality is that they could have a sex addiction and they are addicted to the thrill of a new person to sleep with each weekend etc. This person may even lie to themself and to family and friends, and always claim that it is all leading to finding true love. But when they get into a relationship he or she sleeps around still. Once they are caught out they return back to the casual sex again, he or she can’t control themselves. Society accepts casual sex, mind doctors may tell us that it is a choice, so the slavery to the addiction continues.
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If an activity is regular, a “must have and a must to do”, and if the person feels “withdrawal feelings” if they don’t do that activity then it is an addiction.
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Please remember that addiction is a form of slavery of some sort. A slavery interferes with our life, and we find that we have to adjust our life to fit the accepted-addiction in so that we can continue with it. But with time it can take up more and more of our life and cause far more trouble than it is worth, like shame, lack of confidence, feelings of being weak, and upsetting people. It can interfere with family and work etc.
Some people may feel that adjusting their life for the addiction is creating happy fun times, but the reality is that they are going to pay a price for that addiction in the future in some way. They may lose family, lose friends, work may suffer, they become too ashamed to be in public as the addiction escalates so they stay in their room etc.
Another point is to look around you. Are the people around you, or other people as active as you in what you do? That could be a sign that your activity is unnatural and unhealthy for you.
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Example:
If you were addicted to work then you may be the last one to leave the job every night, maybe hours after everyone else. We can tell ourselves little lies to convince ourself that our over dedicated activities are because we are committed and faithful. Telling ourselves lies makes us feel good about what is destroying our happiness.
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Please understand that there are always excuses for addiction. And sometimes people lie to us to comfort us saying that our behavior is normal. But any form of slavery is not normal.
A sports activity can be an addiction. Extreme sports etc.
Are your activities harming your relationships? Are they interfering with the important things in life like family, your love for your children, activities that you used to enjoy that were innocent and fun?
Try going a day, or a few days or weeks without something that you suspect could be an addiction. If you feel withdrawal symptoms, emotional turmoil, anxiety, and frustration etc, then you have an addiction that is harming your life and taking away your happiness and freedom.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Sunday, 6 September 2015, 12:18:43 PM.
Adrenaline junkies, sport stars, people who focus heavily on their self achievement as a sign of happiness and success, are focusing their lives on deeply selfish goals.
In a society that rewards people for selfish achievements and fame, help convince these people that they are doing the right thing and something worthy. In fact the world sees their teaching children to follow in their footsteps as a grand and worthy thing to do.
They can become people-pleaser’s as they strive for adoration, physical success and personal glory.
Their confidence is high (sometimes it is hard to determine arrogance and confidence in such people).
Friday, 2 October 2015, 1:42:55 PM
If the parent/s are still in a controlling position in the child-adults life or can be a sign of toxic parenting.
The parent/s can claim that the child-adult has coping issues, mental illness, etc, but this is just a way of making it look legal and caring, the reality is that the child-adult is probably a victim of The Stockholm Syndrome and/or Munchausen syndrome by proxy where the parent makes the child ill and claims that he or she must look after the child, but to stay like this the parent keeps the child ill or mentally ill.
An adult comes to a stage in life where he or she must cope on their own, if this is not so and you feel suspicious you should look deeper into the parent/child relationship.
Brought up in a healthy environment the adult parents and the adult children should have a good healthy adult-to-adult relationship. The adult-child should not be depending on the parents for support, decisions etc.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Saturday, 22 June 2019, 4:29:19 PM.
After church this afternoon I cycled around the lake and at the far end of the lake where the small bridge is a little boy had crashed his bicycle.
He was crying, and his older brother (about 6) and I talked the boy into getting back on his bicycle, even though he had scratched his elbow and knee and blood was dripping down his leg.
The little guy got over his tears, got in his bike and away he went. Around the lake be cycled back to his parents.
I cycled ahead once I knew that the boy was fine and I told his parents what had happened. They were most grateful.
Amazingly the little guy went around the lake another time. I told him a few times that he was brave, and I meant it.
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I am so pleased that I get opportunities to help people.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Sunday, 13 March 2016, 8:02:55 PM.
Maturity, a new Belief-System, and a new understanding of people and life make us realise that our old beliefs and opinions were misguided and leading our life to destruction.
So please be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Thursday, 25 June 2015, 11:45:20 PM.
I was talking to a friend of mine, and we were debating about how young a person’s date, partner etc can be, as a she is refusing to date a guy who is 10 years younger than her.
And I was laughing because I said that she could because he wasn’t too young.
But like me, she said that sometime about ten years ago anyone in their teens, 20’s, and 30’s became “children” to us in the sense of romance.
This is not an insult, because we recognize their ability to be an adult, function like an adult, but are in romantic terms on a completely different wavelength.
I know a man who had sex with a female in her late teens and he said that sex was sex, but mentally “there was nothing there”, no connection between him and the female. He couldn’t have a relationship with her at all.
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All the women that I have been with have been within about 3 years of my age, so I have no experience to back up how I feel, it is just a strong feeling that I have.
Only once I went against the rule and considered going with a female a fair bit younger, but she proved to me that I was making a mistake.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Wednesday, 16 March 2016, 3:19:24 PM.
I heavily doubt that God will give you someone to marry with a 20 to 30 years age difference. That just seems very wrong. Think about the children, think about the future, think about yourself in 20 years from now.
If you are infatuated, even obsessed, you need help to get back to reality and go with a person more your own age. Someone who you get on with, someone with similar interests, someone who likes the same things as you do and had the same values.
For me, to go with someone 20 years younger than me would feel wrong, 30 years younger is getting well our of hand and would feel kind of sickening. It is better, as the Bible tells us, that if you have sex desires that you should get married and sort of out, at yourself free from your internal conflicts. I assume that it means marry someone of your own age group of ten years older etc.
Those are some thoughts on the subject in my mind this morning. This message will be for someone, possibly someone who was going to make a mistake.
God may lead a young woman to someone like me, but that is only for salvation and personal counseling and spiritual growth.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Wednesday, 13 July 2016, 8:44:27 AM.
How many friends have we lost in our lives from trouble-makers lies and gossip?
But who is the real guilty one, the gossiper, or the foolish that believe the lies?
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Those that believe the lies, do so without any proof. Maybe it is thrilling to “be in the know!” Or that they feel special because they know something that is juicy and they can retell to others and that makes them feel important. Or maybe this is a time for them to judge and condemn others, even old friends who have never done them any harm.
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One must take into account that all professional people are human beings too, and are therefore willing to lie or gossip if the character assassination suits their cause. Politicians are a good example of this, they often spread rumours and lies about the opposition to gain political points and to win the much coveted elections (fame, money, security etc) in the future.
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I have ever been so sadly disappointed at people that I have really admired, respected and liked (and even loved) who have turned away from me because someone, or some group have told some whopping unbelievable (unbelievable because they have known me for many years, they know my character and reputation) lies (mixed with truth to make it believable to those willing to listen) and from that day on refuse to have anything to do with me.
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Why do they not ask me?
Why are they so willing to be so gullible?
Why believe without any proof whatsoever?
Why do they believe such lies when they know our good character?
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We live in a society that has many people thriving on believing in “titles”, “If it comes from someone with a title or ‘a friend’ then it must be the truth”. A title does not necessary mean an honest person, and sadly sometimes our own friends have no idea what they are talking about.
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Some love the Hollywood Gossip TV programs, and the glossy magazines that poke their noses into other people’s personal lives. It is well known that the magazines make up the stories if they have nothing to tell, it is the dog-eat-dog journalism that causes much stress in famous relationships. I have read many stories of people in Hollywood or elsewhere who have come to believe that the one that they have married is having an affair with some Hollywood-hunk or starlit and in reality nothing at all is happening. The magazines have been sued numerous times, but the willing-public want to be lied to and gullible public swarm to spend their hard earned money on such things.
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It feels good to some to know that the people that they so greatly admire (Like Tiger Woods, the Clinton’s etc) are making fools of themselves and do stupid things. So in that sense gossip and such has become exciting, and people can gather and waste hours and hours away going over the “so-called truths” of the rich and famous.
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They read about it addictively, they read the magazines, watch the TV programs, they fall for it all, and when some person comes up and tells them some silly (even ridiculous lies) about someone that they know, they can fall for it. It is still exciting to them because it is in their own town, and happening to their own friends, in their own street, etc.
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Please, please, always be aware of what people are telling you about other people. If they are lying they think that you are foolish enough to believe in them. It shows great lack of respect to lie about someone and to tell gossip about others to you.
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Please don’t be a carrier, so much harm can be done by reckless and ill spoken words. Please tell the gossipers to go away, or challenge them to tell you what they have said about someone right to that person’s face.
Gossipers and liars are cowards, and they tend to destroy peoples public character by attacking that person when that person cannot defend themselves.
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All the gossiper and liar needs is a sucker to believe them and to spread the character-destroying lies to destroy an innocent person’s character.
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Please be wise and tell the gossiper and troublemaker to get lost.
Life is much more enjoyable when the gossiper realises that people disrespect them for their trouble making and that no one is going to listen to them.
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Please get the message out and tell them to get lost!
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
14th March 2015.
lonely and struggling to cope in a very dysfunctional family with parents that abused drugs, alcohol and each other I listened to a lot of Brian Wilson music that came out years before like In My Room, it really helped me and have me hope.
Pet Sounds is a favourite:
https://youtu.be/Qle9m4GD9Cc
Rainforest Magic is nice music to play when you are doing something around the house, or when working on a project. People even meditate to it because it is nice relaxing music. This is a demo of the full album.
https://youtu.be/DldtsVEk088
Currently I am learning many electric guitar instrumentals from guitarists like the Shadows, George Benson, Jeff Beck and many more. It is a rewarding hobby.
My music range is huge, going back a long way to present day music.
Due to the variety I can’t think of a third album. There is far too much good stuff out there 🙂
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Sunday, 17 July 2016, 7:40:59 PM.
The Bible gives examples were God let’s enemies people bring God’s people down to their knees. This happens when people refuse to listen to God, and they will only live a sinful life that harms many, and promotes sinful living amongst the young and innocent.
Have you noticed that when people are brought to their knees that they become humble and listen? Maybe there will be a global terrorist attack of great magnitude, and they will destroy themselves at the same time, or some great great natural disaster, or will it be what our Pastor said, that the oxygen and hydrogen within us (water) will go back to its root properties and those that refuse to follow God will explode.
People have been exploding for centuries, even, Charles Dickens wrote about it in the 1800’s. Science has no idea why people explode, but it is a fact, it happens.
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Spontaneous human combustion (SHC) is a term encompassing reported cases of the combustion of a living (or very recently deceased) human body without an apparent external source of ignition.
_ Wikipedia.
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To destroy the economy means that all money becomes useless, all industry stops, all business and companies seize to exist, the government falls, the political system collapses. Feminism stops and women will have no reason to work because there will be no monetary system. Only the good people will survive anyway. They say that “we must be ready”, “we must be prepared” (know how to live without money etc), we must believe in faith.
No electricity, no need for money, no stores, no banks, no one to fix anything, you will have to do it all yourself.
No dentist, no doctors, no chemicals, no drugs, no bars, no pornography, no computers, no world cups, no rich, just people trying to survive.
People will be forced to get back to the basics. People will need help, advice, trying to survive.
People will have to use horses again, and natural foods, and that will cause good health, no more takeaway food, no KFC, no McDonald’s, just good decent food. No need for hospitals.
Because the banks would collapse all our houses would be ours free. Land would be free. We would be back to the basics. Cooking by firewood, possibly coal/wood-range type ovens. We would have to have wells. No more coffee, no more twinkies from the corner store, but good quality foods.
We would have to dig wells, and dig toilets.
People would trade for things, help one another out because they cared, and there would be no schooling systems. Parents would have to bring up their own children.
There would be no newspaper, no TV, no radio, no brainwashing, no propaganda etc. We would be able to think all over again so th clear minds, and all that we would want to do is make sure that our loved ones were safe, fed, clothed etc. Only what was basically important would matter.
The entire sex-industry would die in a flash, because those left behind would have no care for it. And there would be no reason for prostitution etc because the economy was dead, no money to live for.
Can you see how each sinful industry has its roots in money-craving? Today people will shame themselves for lust, greed etc, and money.
Money has made us all slaves and mentally weak-minded, and we covet material goods, and to get those material goods we must start all over again.
God has tried for many years to get through the minds of humanity that they are committing evil acts and if they don’t change then God will be forced to take action. God is slow to anger. He wants us to all get a fair chance to change.
But when society gets to the stage that far too many people are producing sinful living in the minds and hearts of the innocents (children, teenagers and young adults) and the product is a continued self-destructive society God moves in and brings people back to their knees.
God hates sin, and God gets furious at those who know the difference between good and bad but they prefer to follow bad people. They make their choice clear to God by who they associate with, who they live with, and if they turn from God’s anointed.
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All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Monday, 5 October 2015, 11:01:24 AM.
All becomes new in your head and life, because you are being taught to look beyond the fishbowl existence that you once had when society had your captive in its limited thinking and ways.
The fishbowl life, as any fish will tell you, is limited to the small view it has, and the poor little fish (like lost people) just go around and around in circles. This life is limited to the experiences of its environment and the limited thinking of its society.
Now you can peer through the glass of your own mental fishbowl and escape outside and see a world your family and friends cannot see.
Your freedom from this fishbowl life is in not being a slave to anything physical, emotional or enforced upon your life by others. You are free to open your heart to others without being harshly judged, and free to express the contents of your loving heart to all in the genuine manner of your caring soul.
Our beliefs become new, our friends need to be new as the old friends of willful sins won’t help us to freedom, they will slowly drag us back to the old life and old ways, and conforming lifestyle that we once lived that limited our life.
2 Corinthians Chapter 5, verse 17: Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
You Are Special Believe in Yourself!
Be at peace with yourself by having the courage to bring peace to yourself.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
November 11, 2011.
So of something doesn’t feel right in your heart then it’s not right.
Far to often we stop short of what’s right for us because it is easier and satisfies what others want.
But you have to live with your choices, so be sure that the choices that make today are what satisfies your soul. What you do today will affect your whole life.
Remember God when you decide your future.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
17th of March 2014.
It was my dream since childhood, but when I got a girlfriend or got married I was always judged, even told that I was weak, a sook, and crybaby. So I was never able to get those past feelings out.
Millions of people go to their deaths never being healed from past guilt, torment, sadness, regrets etc. They live sad lives.
We all need someone.
We all need to be listened to.
We all need unconditional love.
We all need to feel that someone is there for us, and will always be there for us, regardless of our looks, status in the world, body etc.
We all need to be loved because of who we are, and we need someone who sees us as God sees us. Someone with vision who can see the love and wonder in us before we can see it, but their genuine love will make this wonderful person that we will be, come true.
We all need that person to hug, and hug ever so long, so tightly, because they mean so much to us.
This is why they say that we need someone to complete us. God says that someone and you will become one. You will be complete within the soul of the other. Kindred spirits, together as one, soul partners in love and completeness.
If you find that special person, hold on to that person. Because that person will make you free, for now and eternity.
Don’t judge them, not by body, or by looks, or by money, or lack of money, age etc, because all of those worldly judging techniques are not what saves a person’s soul and they don’t give life back to you.
This is why they say follow your heart. God resides in our heart and from there guides us.
The feminist and chauvinistic people guide from the mind, and the mind can be very evil and cold hearted without the love and care of the heart.
People that love you, love you with their heart and loving soul.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Sunday, 24 May 2015, 9:16:50 AM.
The “walk” is a walk of life along a narrow path.
Just as the Potter rebuilds the broken pot, just as silver is tried on the furnace, the Christian starts with the Bible, then the years of learning, then finally trials and testing.
This is the part that the modern believer struggles with, the testing of the soul to set off one can stand up to all the temptations offered by society (Satan).
This is how God can tell if you are worthy of the Blessed future God has for you.
In order to make the team in sports you must be worthy, especially mentally and strong in faith and belief in what you are doing.
Each time we take a temptation we are on Satan’s team and God goes back to the lessons to show you how to deal with the temptation you must failed with. And the “process” starts all over again.
Modern churches don’t teach this most of the time because they are wanting submissive easy going members, obedient and regular.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:34:50 PM.
so please don’t ever give up on you, and your future. You just don’t know what awesome surprise and happiness is there for you around the corner, currently out of sight but waiting to bless your life and bring you happiness and joy.
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You just need the courage to move on, move forward, and to try!
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We must never lose infinite hope – Martin Luther King Jr.
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If you do not hope, you will not find out what is beyond hope – Clement of Alexandria.
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All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:34:24 PM
I once lived like that in the past. I wished for a better life, but I had no idea how to gain it, so I just did what society expected of me, and that was to work and have a family.
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One man said:
I just rolled with my weaknesses. I was never taught that I could control myself and that my weaknesses would reward me painfully. In fact, to my parents their weaknesses were a pure joy and what they delighted in. They could not see the connection between what they did immorally and the returns they got.
I remember my mother taking revenge on someone for a real (or often imagined) crime and being furious that they got her back. To her justice was joyfully taking revenge.
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At Bible study last night Malcolm spoke of Chaos and Order. An aimless life is an unordered life, chaos, something that controls us and the returns are negative, and we have no control over our life and no real direction.
All my weaknesses controlled me. Every sin has an addiction to it, a controlling hand, a power over my life.
Life was something that I didn’t understand.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:34:50 PM.
Years ago there was a woman that I believed in. I thought that she had a hard life, she didn’t get the breaks, was always sadly struggling, and even though we argued and we have clear differences, I always felt sorry for her.
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In psychology etc they have the theory that one feeling overrides another feeling, and that changes our feelings towards something.
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With this person I believed that even though I saw many bad things in her, and that she had hurt me often, abused the love that I had for her, I believed in her deep down inside.
Then someone I loved was hurt, and this woman would not protect her or do anything about what happened. And in a split second “I clicked”, and the connection of love was gone forever. It never came back in all the years later because finally I saw her for who she really was.
The woman was my mother, and the person hurt was my little sister, and the absolute tragedy was that my mother who was furious that i didn’t support her anymore turned my little sister against me, and my mother finally died, and my little sister groomed for years to adore mum finally committed suicide to be with my mother.
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My mother and my sister had been to modern mind doctors in the past, and none of the mind doctors picked up what was going on. And the reason is that other than the cash that they were receiving they never had a true personal stake int he relationship between mother and daughter.
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My mother’s relationship with my little sister was very unhealthy. I won’t say more about it. But it was a relationship that mothers and daughters should not have had.
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The thing is that I was able to break away from the connection that my mother had over me due to the love that I had for my little sister, but sadly my little sister, even after mothers death, could not cope without the brainwashing connection that mother had set up between she and my little sister. Read Susan Forwards Toxic Parents and you will see how these connections work.
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The terrible thing is that no one can break the connection except the victim as I did. If the connection is never broken then even when the narcissist is long dead the victim stays a slave to that person.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Monday, 16 November 2015, 2:48:56 PM.
For instance a father or mother could lose their temper in a restaurant with a child, because the child’s action was the last straw in a very hard day for the man or woman. None of us are perfect and sometimes people lose their cool.
Our someone may lie or gossip about someone and that puts up a wall of hate and dislike for a completely innocent person.
Upon reading ” first impressions ” by Ann Demarais & Valerie White – good to read that I’m not socially unstable, but on par. Glad to know that I’m doing right by putting others first in my getting to know them – creating the first impression. What does sadden me the most, is that people form a very closed minded opinion of others without giving them a chance to come out of their shell!
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Thursday, 22 October 2015, 11:33:48 AM.
Hopefully many people will be enjoying holidays and time with family.
Remember all the things that you wanted to do in 2015, well you can do them in 2016. You can give yourself a little extra push to achieve those things. 🙂
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We can’t expect the leaders to make the world a better place from their ivory towers, they are so distanced from the common folk, general life, poverty and suffering they only know their own world.
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It is time to believe in yourself, believe that you can make a difference, then act on that belief. Your life counts, make it worthy.
Please, make a difference where you live. In your own town. Please find something that you want to happen, laws changed, people helped, the needy feed and clothed etc. Just find that something that will make your life more important to you and others. Fight the good fight gently, firmly, and be a light in your world in 2016. Spread the Word.
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So many people go to their deaths realizing that they could have done more, could helped more people, could have changed a life and done something really meaningful, instead of just lived for themselves. We must encourage people to have a go and take on those challenges.
We need to think less of money and material things, and think more of people, animals, protecting the natural world by making sure that the world will be a better place for the future generations.
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Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
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Blessed are those that make the world a better place for the future to come.
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God Bless us all in 2016.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Thursday, 31 December 2015, 5:38:23 PM.
is that we may fear leaving the house (we have switched into protective mode – believing that avoiding something, someone or society will keep us safe from harm), and the anxiety makes us feel bad about ourself. Or we may fear living life without another person around.
But also what we are missing out on fun times, and that makes us feel sad, abnormal, disappointed, and depressed etc.
We are not winning by hiding away from society. We actually know that humans are social creatures, so we know that we should be out there in the world mingling with others. But we feel uncomfortable with mingling.
We all suffer from anxiety to some degree in our lives. Please understand that just because you have slipped into overprotective mode does not mean that you are crazy. What it really means is that your mind, emotions, etc have interpreted the situation wrong and your anxiety is a result of that. Past events, experiences, or even what people tell us can bring on crippling anxiety.
We react to mental/emotional issues in many ways. Some people wash their hands a lot. Some who are anxious about being robbed may stay home and constantly check the door to see if it is locked or not.
I found that a “Stop and Go” approach is good to try. For instance, once I realized that I was doing something strange, weird, not normal, and that the result of doing it was harming my life and how people saw me, I knew that I must stop this habit.
You can say out loud, while holding up both hands and palms facing away from you, “Stop!” to break the control of the thought over you.
So I became a warrior on the hunt. I would Stop myself going to wash my hands halfway there, even if the desire to wash them was pulling myself forward.
It was not unusual for me to have a quick argument in my head telling myself that I had already just washed my hands and according to common sense and logic, I clearly didn’t need to wash my hands this soon after previously doing so. And then I would march myself back to what I was doing before I got up to wash my hands.
I worked at keeping conscious of what I was always doing, so that I didn’t do something just out off habit. I convinced myself that I wanted “to be normal” and to live a productive life.
We can come up with what seems like very convincing arguments why we have to complete some compulsive task. And we can dramatize them in our minds to make it a life or death situation, even when to others it obviously isn’t.
And if we are in great fear of not completing the task then we propel ourself forward to do it.
A good thing to consider is that for most of us sometime in the past we did not act or feel this way. This anxiety s not a part of our life like it is today.
When I gave up smoking cigarettes I felt great frustrating tension building up inside of me. So to release this tension I would clap my palms together in a loud “Slap”. This also would break away negative thoughts, and also burn away physical and emotional tension.
Sometimes I would slap my hands a lot, or just a few times, but it always helps.
I hope these ideas help.
Be brave, you will find your freedom, like the rest of us.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Tuesday, 4 August 2015, 3:55:43 PM.
Any fool can do that, all they need to do is be nasty and a coward. That is so easy to do behind a person’s back. It is also a sign of a very spiritually weak person.
Spiritually strong people know the ways of their heart and know that it is far wiser to help correct and guide people to a new life using love and encouragement. They know that God’s way is of love and forgiveness.
Spiritually strong people walk in God’s ways and know that the good walk may be hard at first while one grows but the end result will be a strong person who walks in God’s favour. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow them all the days of their lives.
Stay strong. Walk in courage. Stay firm in good loving beliefs and be with God in spirit and thought and show the world that the Holy Spirit is in you by the wonderful good things that you do. You were made to be courageous, be so for you!
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
16th of March 2013.
Change is around us all the time. Please don’t get stuck in a rut and think that you are there for good. Because the reason that you may be stuck in a rut is because you haven’t done anything yet to get out of it.
🌿
A lot is about how we think in life. The bars of steel can hold us, not invisible bars. We need to know the difference between being really trapped, and some social tradition or some threat keeping us feeling stuck, when in reality all we need to do to start over again is to just walk away.
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Please do what is best for you. Please don’t worry what others think, because they don’t have to live what you are living. Others don’t feel the sadness, anxiety, worry, and trapped like you may be feeling.
🌼
Be brave, you are worthy of a good life.
💛
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:34:50 PM.
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
-this version is credited to Mother Teresa
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This version is said to be the Original Version:
The Paradoxical Commandments
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
– Dr. Kent M. Keith.
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During my years I have come into contact with some very mean people. Bitter and spiteful if they didn’t get what they wanted, and mean and jealous if other people had that they didn’t have. These people favored revenge and hate and they made life for me and others a struggle and far harder than life needed to be.
In the past 12 years I have learned a lot about life and I discovered that even though something may not be happening in my life that I can still encourage it in other people’s lives and to help them be happy anyway. I learned that even though I may not be happy in some area of my life that I can still help other people be happy in that area of their lives.
For instance, I have been without any form of partner since my ex-wife left back in 2004, and yet I have written many articles on marriage, love, companionship etc and those articles have helped many people.
People have written to me and told me that they have read what I have written at weddings and wedding anniversaries, as well as read out on Valentine’s Day etc. These were encouraging Facebook statuses that I posted over the years.
What I am getting at is that I was able to help other people with their marriages, romance and relationships, to inspire them, to help keep romance alive between them without my being in a relationship myself. I let my heart guide me, I wrote about what I knew was right for a marriage, and I used my past experience (mistakes, lessons and good times) and was able to share that and help people.
My advice is if you are not in good health please help others have good health if you can anyway.
If you are not in a relationship please help others with their relationships anyway, with encouragement and a desire to want to see them happy, even if you are not currently happy in love. Please just do it anyway. Please help because you can. Please help others because that is what helps communities become strong and worthy.
A lot of life for us is about how we react to people. So if people lie, gossip, cause you trouble etc, please be nice back anyway (don’t allow them to abuse or hurt you, just try to react back in a nicer way to show that you are of good worthy character). This good reaction from you shows those people that we are not all mean, and that there is a better way to react to negative events and negative people. Please be forgiving, graceful and be that mature example that you want to see in the world from other people, and how you wish that other people would treat you (especially if you are having a bad day).
Just because we don’t have something does not mean that we should be bitter and not want others happy. What we give out we get back. So please for your sake and for others, please do the best that you can for them anyway.
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Returning good for evil means that we increase the goodness, charity, love and friendship in the community. We must encourage a positive reaction to negatives to give the young a good example and to improve our lives.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Wednesday, 29 June 2016, 9:32:36 PM.
Elijah as a man of God repaired the alter of God. He brought back the truth.
God wanted a physical alter to be simple stones, no tools were to touch it. This is like the Gospel, the truth, nothing fancy added to it – just the basic truth.
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1 Kings Chapter 18, verse 22:
Then said Elijah unto the people, I, even I only, remain a prophet of the LORD; but Baal’s prophets are four hundred and fifty men.
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Arab, the wicked King, with all his power, money, armies, could not defeat God’s one man.
Elijah went up against the church, same as what Jesus and the other Prophets had to do, and Elijah won.
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1 Kings Chapter 16, verse 31:
And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he took to wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Zidonians, and went and served Baal, and worshipped him.
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They served self, and in doing so worshipped evil. Ahab provoked God.
The people needed the truth, because the innocent were victims (the general public) of the wicked king and his wicked wife.
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1 Kings Chapter 16, verses 25-26:
But Omri wrought evil in the eyes of the LORD, and did worse than all that were before him.
For he walked in all the way of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and in his sin wherewith he made Israel to sin, to provoke the LORD God of Israel to anger with their vanities.
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1 Kings Chapter 16, verses 28:
So Omri slept with his fathers, and was buried in Samaria: and Ahab his son reigned in his stead.
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These leaders of the people led the people to sin. The people were falsely taught, led astray to lust and to live for materialism.
The authorities were wicked, but the public didn’t think so because they were seduced from a young age to follow them.
The rulers copied previous rulers evil like their fathers before them.
Jeroboam started going bad and the other Kings from him onwards copied Jeroboam, and the people became evil in their ways as a result.
They created false churches, false priests, false religious leaders with false religious beliefs to seduce the people to become evil.
The people became morally lazy and weak minded, their actions distanced them from God. They were following the ways of evil, they were rewarded for their evil ways according to their actions and thoughts, they decieved themselves and brought upon their own destruction according to their dishonest ways.
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Like a marriage, if the starting is not good, then the rest will be bad and lead to evil and sin. Even for the children of that marriage. This will continue a family down line of suffering and unhappiness.
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The work of Elijah was to bring people back to God, back to truth, and the ways of decent living etc.
The authorities of that time were godless. In 200 years, none of the Kings were godly, 19 kings all taught evil, the people had no chance.
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1 Kings Chapter 18, verse 37:
Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that thou art the LORD God, and that thou hast turned their heart back again.
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People were following false God’s, they had their food, entertainment, money, so to them there was no need for God in their lives according to their thinking.
Elijah is the light that was to bring them back to God.
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Romans Chapter 12, verse 1-2:
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
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Is your communion with God or because you have become ungodly and fellowship with the ungodly your life will be the path of those who turned from God, will your children follow Satan or God, they will follow you? What do you need to sacrifice to get back to God.
“A neglected alter is a recipe for disaster.”
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Sunday, 3 April 2016, 1:05:41 PM.
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Try not to just want this, be with those you love, those who appreciate you, those who listen to you, and the person who really does understand you. You do get a choice as an adult. God’s way is of freedom.
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All relationships are like buds, they grow and grow together to blossom into something better which comes with goodness, care, love, and maturity. If the teaching is good then the fruit will not be rotten, or few, but many and ripe and plentiful.
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You will always know a good teacher by the fruit. Does it wither and struggle, or does it grow bright and full of life! Go where the worthy teachings lie, its got to be good for you.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
12th of March 2012.
If a parent and/or friend were to tell a person to be afraid of a good honest man, then the person if gullible enough will create a fear of that person in their mind.
If that fear was fed by other people, and even one or two titled authoritive figures, the gullible one would allow the fear to grow.
If evil stories and “evidence” (faked of course) were presented to the gullible one, then he or she would start to fear for their safety and life. They may fear torture, beatings, being tormented, being a hostage to a violent mad man, and at the thought or sight of this man the victim would develop the shakes, the heart would speed up etc, and he or she would be physically terrified with horror believing that they were a victim, and would be hunted down.
This gullible person would hide in the house, afraid to leave the premises, peek out the windows, possibly lock themself up for years, and possibly become a stalker (Facebook and the like) of this totally innocent person.
Sound crazy? Hitler did this with millions of people to some degree when he told of how the English men had bombed (faked, lies and propaganda etc) some villages or did other things – Hitler installed fear in the German people’s hearts, and then a fear that the English people would attack Germany and do horrible things to them etc. He controlled the radio stations and newspapers. In fear and pride the German people went to war and gave up their lives. They thought that they were protecting their loved ones from the evil Englishmen.
There was an experiment carried out on some sheep. A small wire tied to a leg. For a week the sheep had that wire and ignored it, carried on eating and socialising with the other sheep. The next week they added a small harmless electric shock through the wire. It didn’t bother the sheep much, it carried on eating, following sheep around and socialising.
Now with no increase in the electrical power they made sheep so unwell it nearly died.
What they did was install apprehension into the heart of the animal. They rang a bell 10 seconds before the harmless shock. Then as the day progressed they did it again and again.
The sheep would stop eating and wait for the shock after hearing the bell, something it had not done so far through the experiment. And the sheep stopped socialising, the thought of the upcoming shock was occupying the sheeps mind, fear and worry were taking over the sheeps life. The sheep became ill as this continued, and finally collapsed in the paddock, and if they continued the sheep was obviously going to die. They discovered that they could easily make any sheep physically sick this way.
Can you see that installing fear in someone can cause that person to become physically sick, and also drive them mentally ill? The body reacts to the fear. What could be worse is if the gullible one was told that the physical reaction to the (remember this is a imagined fear) fears were the blame of the innocent man, and if believed then the gullible one would become even more physically and mentally ill.
If the victim was on medication for fears, depression and mental illness then as long as the victim believed in what he or she had been told the fears would keep them physically and mentally ill.
Fearing something, real or imagined, can drive a person to hiding in a corner shaking with fear, mumbling in terrified madness, when there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.
Narcissest’s and their partners in crime know these techniques, and they use them to control and subdue their victim.
It is far easier when the victim loves and trusts the narcissist and will eagerly listen to that person, and the partners in crime, who are working with the narcissist.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Thursday, 30 April 2015, 12:08:48 AM.
The poor are made low so that God puts the poor in his rightful place of honour when his time has come.
Don’t give unto anger and lust, and wrath.
Some people are meek but are angry inside.
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James Chapter 1, verses 19-25:
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:
For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.
But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
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The word of God will save your soul.
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1 Peter Chapter 1,verses 22-25:
Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:
Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.
For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away:
But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.
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The power of God is seen in creation.
The sin nature is gone in you when you get to Heaven.
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Psalms 19, verses 1-11:
The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
Moreover by them is thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward.
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If you want to be set aside from evil, then follow Christ. If you want to be a follower of evil just walk away from Christ.
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Psalms 119, verses 8-11:
I will keep thy statutes: O forsake me not utterly.
Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.
With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.
Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
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You have nothing to fall back on without God. You have only yourself to blame lfor following your parents and friends because you put them before God.
Keep your soul pure by the words of God.
By keeping your soul blessed you will make good choices.
“Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.” – an overflowing in wickedness.
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Acts 9, verse 1:
And Saul, yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord, went unto the high priest,
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Saul was evil, an atheist, selfish and mean. Yet Saul was completely forgiven when he recognized Christ.
If you put anything before God you are making an idol of it, even people. If you listen to your parents tell you that an evil act is a good act, then you are putting God aside and putting your parents first.
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Colossians Chapter 3, verses 5-6:
Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:
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Lay evils aside, have a good attitude.
“But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”
Be meek in receiving God’s instruction.
You need an attitude of reception, “those that have ears hear…” .
Not just lip service.
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Hebrews Chapter 8, verses 6-7:
But now hath he obtained a more excellent ministry, by how much also he is the mediator of a better covenant, which was established upon better promises.
For if that first covenant had been faultless, then should no place have been sought for the second.
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Hebrews Chapter 8, verse 10:
For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:
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Are God’s ways in your heart, has it become implanted in your ways, are you a doer of God’s ways of kindness and decency?
“But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.”
You are not deceiving God, you are deceiving yourselves
God expects progress. Constant progress, day by day. Be a doer of God’s guidance. When God guides you act, to it, pray for His guidance every morning.
It is not just looking into it, it is doing it, becoming it, letting God change your life.
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If you look into your soul like you look in a mirror you would change your soul when you saw the evil that you have accepted and are actively doing.
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Don’t listen to others, your walk is between you and Christ. Only you know your thoughts and feelings, and only you knows your instincts. Follow the truth, not the spirituality blind.
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Your life is a determining factor of your heart. The good should be blessed in your deeds.
The truth is of freedom, liberation from sin and slavery.
Put aside naughtiness and filth, and depart from the sins of your family whether they proclaim follow God or not.
We are not to be ignorant to the Devils devices. We are to be strong and depart from evil.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Sunday, 3 April 2016, 7:19:49 PM.
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The weaker the society becomes, then the less intelligent they become. Education is “dumbed down” to allow the new generations to pass exams.
In order to find stimulating and exciting conversations and fun, the weak minded masses abuse alcohol and drugs to excite them.
You see, conversation becomes trashy, cheap and of little value when society becomes weak. Gatherings which were once wholesome, happy and genuine are seen as boring and the weak minded masses desire the more immoral, carnal activities and enjoy watching violence etc.
The church, in fear of losing the congregation, change the rules and doctrines making the church into a business and a club. Fees (tithes) are paid, activities and events are created to keep the congregation feeling like they are part of something special that is loved and supported by God.
Because the real work of God is basically ignored the “official members” of the club/Church stay as Babes in Christ. Bickering, gossip, inner fighting, disagreements, people fighting for control, etc, are all results of the church sitting on the fence trying to please God and Satan. This negative behaviour is blamed on the devil as an excuse to keep things as they are and to remove the latest trouble makers.
The laws are adjusted, and as more and more people become morally weak minded the one strict rules for public services are reduced to allow just about anyone in.
Such as the Police, teachers, education system and examinations etc.
With a weakened education system and weakened rules of acceptance for the services more and more crime in these services because of the lack of values and lack of moral values etc.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:34:08 PM.