People with phobia’s…

People with phobia’s (fears etc) get on with life, can do as most people can do, but they are not very social (or though they can be social), they tend to be lacking in confidence, they are not very assertive, what other people feel is a normal event can be a great worry or fear for an agoraphobic person.
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They have trouble functioning independently, and they like to have a few trusted people around them to help keep them afloat or to help encourage them.
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They feel that people have rejected them and that people have deserted them and left them on their own and that can make then “clingy”, but only to those that they trust. To the general public they try to appear “normal” and that nothing is wrong.
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People look at them and think, “She just needs confidence, and then she will be all right.” But there is much more going on than a lack of self confidence.
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People like this will avoid conflict because they don’t like the feeling of upsetting people, or being in arguments, but this does them no good because in this mental state they can be pushed around and trodden on by narcissists.
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We all come across people like this and we can see that there are issues that need dealing with for that person to function in a normal life, but one of the biggest problems is that they are misjudged and even the professionals have diagnosed them wrong.

I personally still struggle in some of these areas myself. I don’t like conflict, but if it has to happen then I will throw myself in, or if I see an injustice I want to get the truth known. I will avoid conflict if I can and walk away from it. And I am probably not as assertive as I should be too, I recognise this is lacking in my character.

Please remember that once a fault or problem is found in our character, it is the fact that we have recognised it then we can do something about it. For instance we can be aware of it and when certain situations present themselves we can test ourselves gently and further beyond as we get better.

If you feel that you are not very assertive, that you lack confidence, that you need people around you to function and other issues that I have mentioned here, please do realise that you are special, and that the problems that you are facing are obviously not something that is normal, and that you would never have deliberately made yourself like this, so that means that outside forces, people and events caused your problems.
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It also means that there is always a cure, and in the right hands, and the right people to help you, things will get better. Please don’t give up hope.
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You, of course, must be the one to make the first steps to change and to look for the answers and the people that you need for a full recovery.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
10th March 2015.