It is important to know how much we are capable of accomplishing, and that our best may not be good enough for some people.
If we have done our best according to our ability, there is no reason for us to begin crucifying ourselves; we cannot control what other people think about our best effort. This should actually be their problem and not ours.
Maturity is coming to terms with this fact; we must treat everyone with respect and kindness, but that does not make it our responsibility to make sure that each and every one of them is pleased.
It is a good thing to seek the happiness of others but we should not make it our personal responsibility and priority. People who self-sabotage don’t realize that others have different expectations on them, some being realistic while others are not.
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You may be surprised to know that if some people had their way, this is what could occur:
* Others would want you to hang around with them on a daily basis and at every moment, even though you need to be attending work or school.
* Others would love to partner with you in their projects even though you don’t have the slightest interest in what they are doing.
* Your parent may want to be with you all the time even though you have your own spouse and kids who need to spend time with you.
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It is very easy to have many ”important”people in your life, all of whom have their different expectations of you, and as such it is simply impossible to please every one of them every time.
Trying to achieve this can be maddening, and it can drive you crazy to say the least.
When we attempt to please everyone, we soon whittle ourselves away like a pencil when it is sharpened. With each and every sharpening, the pencil gets shorter and shorter until finally nothing is left of it. This can happen to us when we allow ourselves to become spent [tired] pleasing others.
– John Burke.