Often one person in the family “Wakes Up” and realised that they had a abnormal upbringing, and they also realise who caused it all. Once they speak up, they are often attacked verbally by the family who are still under the spell of the narcissist.
A whole different set of victims are the direct family of the narcissist, brothers and sisters etc.
A good example is the woman who was sexually abused or it is said that she was sexually abused by her father or someone else, and that becomes a lifetime tool to gain sympathy off her family.
People naturally want to see people happy and want to help victims. So they will sometimes defend the “person who plays the victim” for many years to come, and often to their own death.
If the narcissist (victim) dies first then the family will tell sympathetic stories until they die. Turning the narcissist into a martyr, someone to adore, admire for her (supposed) great sacrifices that she did for her children and family.
The reality is that the narcissist treated her own children badly, abused them, put herself first, instead of going without for her children she feathered her own nest etc.
If the brothers (male instincts to protect innocent females) feel any childhood guilt, the narcissist will pick up on that and will find ways to increase that guilty feeling and the narcissist will drag it out forever if possible.
To “wake up” the immediate family is not easy. There is so much that they must pass to see the truth, and so much to admit.
For instance they must admit that they were fooled for their own lifetime. Pride and other self-defeating feelings refuse to accept that they were so easily and efficiently taken in by someone that they loved, who they wanted to help and possibly protect.
Until they admit that they were fooled they will not be able to take down the “mental sympathetic filters” so carefully put in their minds over so many years by the narcissist.
The real tragedy is that the children of the narcissist are often seen as ungrateful, useless (unconfident, addicted.have mental issues etc) children who fail to sympathise with the others.
In reality it is the children with their mixed up minds who are the true victims of the narcissist and the family that so stubbornly support the narcissist.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Wednesday, 27 May 2015, 11:46:28 AM.