The hardest part is if they were once very close to us and we want that feeling of closeness back.
But they are as they were in the past, and we have changed and have different feelings and better moral standards.
It is foolish to gain good standards, and to have never good values etc, and then go back to the past ways simply because people you grew up with won’t change. To throw away logic, common-sense and a new understanding of love and happiness for people who refuse to change is very sad indeed.
It takes courage to finally realise that each person has to live their own life. And all the protection, care, love and guidance from you will not change a thing if the other person does not want to see sense and does not want to change.
The only logic, wise and loving thing to do is to let them go as soon as possible. In doing that we are allowing them to learn quicker. It is still up to them but with you out of the picture then they will learn the long slow hard way – if they ever do learn. But they cannot be forced and the journey is their to live, not yours.
Simple math tells us that 1 + 1 = 2. If both of you are lost in the world paying for your sins then that is “2” miserable people in the end (Not to mention your future children, and all the other people you will influence in a negative way). But if you break away then that means only 1 miserable person – the one that you have been trying to change. With you around they wouldn’t change, with you gone then they have a chance, and you will have a future
And even if you were moving on from your whole family of sinners that in no way is a match for the godly loving children you will have “if you are away from your family” and the good people you will come to know, those you will influence for the better in the future.
The good reasons to leave the sinners are obvious. And repair can come from us leaving them. But nothing is gained after years of helping them and staying with them. They are not going to “get it” with you there, face that.
Staying with them will have us going against our instincts, feelings and better judgment and over time we will start doing as they do. And even now you may find that you (with their guidance and pressure) have already started doing things a year ago that you disagreed with, or things that you feel uncomfortable with right now. Stay with them and you will be defeated and evil will have won another victim.
Be wise, use common-sense and live your life in a positive manner without the people of the past and family dragging you back to their lifestyle.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
9th of December, 2012.
