The thing that we tend to fear the most is being a genuine person.

Just fake happiness, fake good times, but just make sure that you cry alone by yourself in your room so no one will see and be offended or upset or they may think that you are not one of them.

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We talk today of being real, but no-one really is, they are too scared to be good, kind, charitable, healthy, and to truthfully and realistically take care of their minds, souls and body.

Being cool is being gangsta for some, for some getting stoned off their minds, getting wasted at parties, being tough, macho, feminist, etc, all this is unhealthy and unnatural for the human mind, body, spirit and soul.

See where all the mental issues come from?

They come from us being fake, deeply unhappy within, and not having the courage to change because we will offend or upset others and not be important to them anymore.

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Society demands that “to be liked” and “in with others” we must be reckless, foolish and easily going along with what others are doing no matter how stupid it is.

It is as if society is saying, that as long as we all fake happiness we are happy, just don’t let anyone know that you are not happy, suffer your miseries in your own time when home alone.

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When my ex-wife left back in 2004 I decided to be me, no one else, and that was hard from a lifetime of trying to be me but picking up lots of faking-habits to fit in and be liked. I was shocked at how much people-pleasing I had been doing and how much I did things I was not comfortable with because I wanted to be loved, to be liked and to fit in.

Real truthful genuine change means a cleansing of the soul and then a discovery period of finding out who we really are.

For me:

• I wanted peace, so I avoided people who were drama, had violent issues, were narcissists and harshly judgmental, and tried to be peaceful within.

• I didn’t like what the meat industry did so I gave up eating meat.

• I never liked drug abuse, but I had drunk alcohol. I looked at all the hell and physical discomfort that brought into my life and said, “That’s not me!” and I gave it up.

• I gave up cigarette smoking because it was bad for my body.

• I gave up partying because it didn’t suit my soul and I couldn’t stand all the fake friendships.

• I decided that I may not be able to do a lot for the poor and needy, but I will do something to help out.

• I also gave up many bad habits that made me unhappy with myself like anger issues, bad language, being judgemental, and I changed that for being more patient, giving people more chances and opportunities, trying to look deeper into people’s lives and situations to see if I could help them and to help them find answers.

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We people, we want to please others, we tend to be insecure in a dysfunctional society so we allow people to push us, to guide us where we are uncomfortable, and we allow ourselves to go through much suffering to make other people happy in doing so we put aside our own happiness and genuine feelings, we do this to be liked by people who will never really like us. The friendships and love is fake as well.

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What I learned is that we can never like, love or respect ourselves while we are not living at peace with our own life.

Any form of faking is noticed by our own minds and even though we may lie to ourselves that the latest party and hangover the next day is what fun and good times is all about we know deep down inside that we are fake “and very unhappy with ourselves”.

Knowing that we are fake means that we don’t like who we are, or what we do, or how people push us around, or how easily we fold when guided to do something that makes us very uncomfortable and afterwards ashamed, disappointed, unhappy etc.

A person can never respect themselves or be happy with their life and their own character while they are faking happiness and not living the dream that sits within them. The dream is to be their natural self, to live without fears, without judgments, without worries of what people will think.

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Life is so much more relaxing, enjoyable, fun and peaceful when the people around you are there because they are your spiritual family, there is no trying to live up to expectations, no faking, no people pleasing, no seeking validation from others, just waking up and being who you want to be.

You eat what you want to eat, there is no pointless drama, no narcissists types around, and the people around you are in line with what your values are, they get you, you get them, they fit your world, you fit theirs, its all about being your real self, living in harmony, peace and waking up each day with a smile feeling so glad to be here.

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You can have your Garden of Eden on Earth, your piece of Heaven on Earth, and while life is not perfect it is far better now that you have discovered who is the real you and you have the courage to live your life your way.

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All you need is the courage to dig deep inside to know you for who you really are.

To have courage to not care what anyone thinks of your life and choices.

To have courage to do what needs to be done, to remove who needs to be removed, and to welcome those who you know who should be in your life to encourage, to help, to nurture you as you bloom your soul your way to how you always believed as a child you should live before adults came along and guided you away from your destiny.

When you decide to change please don’t worry about what others think, even family and old friends, because those who have no ears for the truth will not understand the words from you and your meaning, they will only see what they want to see. Have the courage to walk away from all that is trying to hold you back from your deserved happiness. Its your time now, take your life back and become the person you have deep down always wanted to be and have the life you have always wanted to live.

All the best from

James M Sandbrook.
21st of December, 2019.