“If Only…”
The excuse for not doing anything about our life situation.
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“If only I was born in a different time.”
“If only I had different parents.”
“If only I was over the other side of the fence, the grass is greener there.”
“If only Someone would come and save me!”
“If only I had been treated better!”
“If only the Government would make the world a better place.”
“If only I had more money.”
“If only I had more time.”
“If only I had more time for myself.”
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Using these words is like trying to blame other things for our unhappiness or unhappy situation. For instance if we refuse to act in a courageous manner that we know will save us from our miserable situation, but we are afraid of the risks that we need to take, we can lie and comfort ourselves daily with, “If only…” excuses to make us feel that life has dished us out a loser and we cannot help but suffer and be a loser because of these excuses.
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We can also tell ourselves that the answers lie “somewhere out there in the world”, but not within us. A way of avoiding once again the need for you and I to do something that will take us out of our comfort zone and having us facing truths, facts, and getting things done.
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It can be used to blame others for our miserable plight of which we are afraid of changing. “If only he would come and save me!”, “If only my parents had been better parents then I would be a better person.” (You and I may have had toxic parents but they are not to blame for you and I refusing to cast aside the past baggage today and starting over.)
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“If Only…” is the excuse for years of wasteful procrastination. “If you don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as another. – Yiddish Proverb.
“I would be more courageous today, if only I was treated better in the past!”
“I would walk away from this job, if only…!”
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Many of us make excuses in the hope that the challenge ahead of us will go away and we won’t have to face it or do it. So we wait, and wait, and wait, but it stays and comes around again, over and over again. There is nowhere to hide, and in not facing it we simply give it more power over our life and it controls how we live.
The result is endless regrets, less self respect and personal suffering. We can travel to the other side of the world but it is inside our mind resurfacing daily to remind us of what we have not done and the challenge that we must face in order for our life to go further.
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There are the excuses that never become a reality, “I will do it later.”, “I will do it after I get home from work!” etc
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There is no time like the present, because the right time will never appear and the right time does not exist. Only now is the right time to sort out things that you know need sorting out.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
2017.
2017.