Part of the damage to a child who was abused emotionally, physically or sexually is that they don’t think about the things while growing up and their mind is developing that he or she should think about when growing up. Courage, faith, inner-strength and so on are Not formed when a child is abused.
Children like to ponder about life, events of the day, the whys and hows of life, and how to change things and make them better etc.
years of sexual abuse, violence, confusion, anxiety etc take the place of learning and that limits or stops the child from personal growth, and limits courage and confidence growth, this produces a adult who struggles to cope with life.
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A child who is abused has his or her train of thought blasted off into another area and the normal growth is stunted or even stopped. Consider the child brought up in a violent home, and another child brought up in a peaceful home with two loving parents.
As an adult the child brought up in the good home will be well adjusted, confident and capable of living a life of his or her own choice based on his or her beliefs.
The child brought up in the violent home faced fears that the other child never encountered in childhood. Children like a stable home that runs in a pattern that is comfortable and will help he or she develop in. If the home is not stable then the child faces fears, anxiety, has nightmares that other children don’t have, has worries of repeated violence and fears that the family secret of abuse will get out and the only home he or she has ever known will be taken away.
As an adult the child brought up in the violent home can harbour fears, anxieties, anger, and become violent to his or her own children.
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Adults just don’t appear mentally unbalanced, depressed, suicidal etc. Something in the past causes all of this. it may or may not be because of their parents or upbringing, it could be a big traumatic event (rape, sex abuse, terror etc) that the parents were not involved in.
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The point that I am making is that cowards, mentally struggling people, mental illness etc all happen because of a root cause and that root cause needs to be dealt with in order for the person to get over it and start life again.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
March 24, 2017 at 10:18pm.
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All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.