Helping People grow!
You live for yourself, not your parents, not your friends, not for your neighbours.
Follow YOUR dreams without worrying about what other people think because at the end of the day, what really matters is what you think of yourself…… live free y’all…..
– Bob-Manuel C. Okocha.
A material world has people treating sex as a sweet, something to enjoy as a tasty snack, but not something spiritual between two, not love.
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But when one partner sees sex as a very personal, intimate, beautiful act that he or she only wants to share with the one they love it is completely soulfully devastating if the other has sex with someone else.
Obviously the unfaithful one did not see sex the same way. This is why we should be very careful when falling in love and choosing a partner for life.
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Both need to be sure that the other will remain faithful.. There are signs like one partner joking with mates about other women, if their eyes wandered when they see another person, when they react happily to being “chatted up” by someone else, enjoying someone’s obvious attention towards them, pin-ups in the house or garage, comments about women in movies or TV etc. The signs are there, but often we want to believe that this is the dream love of a lifetime so we remain blind to the signs right before us.
We want to believe in the first Core Belief that this person is the real deal and we refuse to see any evidence that shows that this person wants others on the side or disrespects women etc
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True lovers remain faithful for life, and if the sex gets a bit boring they talk about it, they get closer during the day, have fun, realise that something in their relationship is causing this situation and together they find out what the problem is. You see, if the sex gets boring it has nothing to do with sex because it is the same people who rocked it up just fine not so long ago, the problem is in their heads. The same with rape, rape is about domination and disrespectful, angry, feelings about the opposite gender etc.
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If one partner actively thinks about having an affair, or is attracted to someone else then there is a problem in the marriage and it is not a sexual problem mostly, but something else like one becoming bored with sex because he or she is overworking, tired all the time, on some form of medication etc. It can be worked out for those who want to try.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
“I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with.”
― Mary Ann Shaffer.
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Marriage for anything other than love is not marriage, it is long term voluntary torture, until divorce. People must marry for the right reason, nothing could be better than to marry for true love.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
September 7, 2012 at 1:42 PM.
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One of the things that I learned years ago from an old fighter was to never ever let people know what your true capabilities are.
Never give a good public display in any circumstances showing your true abilities, keep them guessing or thinking that they are better than you. Only the young and foolish brag, showoff, and then get a whopping thumping because they exposed their weaknesses to the trained eye to soon.
They get beaten by someone who is clever enough to hide all their capabilities and especially their advantages over their opponents until the opponent cannot back away because it is too late.
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This goes for business, and dealings with people who are not on your inner circle.
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Always be kind, careful and do the best that you can for others, but never let your enemies know what you can do. Especially the arrogant and prideful, they always tend think that they can win, and that is your best weapon against them.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
September 7, 2017 at 6:52 PM.
After years and years of being good, behaving, relearning life, going to church (maybe), changing their character to pointlessly go back to who they were years ago. Back to the alcohol and drug abuse, back to the endless parties, back to the loose living that drove them into despair and mental struggles in the first place.
It seems that having survived that long period of time, little went wrong, they seem to get that false sense of security all their friends have and go back who they used to be.
Some religious people seem to have seasons of believing in God to a season of not believing in God.
Some people hit rock bottom all over again, some die, some become addicts again, and some come back to recovery and stay changed for the better for the rest of their lives.
All these people do is return to what ruined their lives in the first place, probably because they don’t recognise what ruined their lives and just think that they had a problem, not that others ruined their lives. The sad times come back, the bad feelings, the bad events, and some never figure it out, they just stumble from day to day, existing and not living.
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We need to help others going through this and make sure that we don’t go through this ourselves.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Narcissists tend to believe that they do one thing (something good and honourable etc) while in reality they are doing the exact opposite.
This quote is about what you say to them or what you should “think” when they are parading their supposed innocence etc.
“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
September 6, 2015 at 1:28 PM.
The Seduced Friend.
I grew up with a Feminist mother and 6 sisters, and I got to see a lot of female manipulation and females cat fighting, and females seduction, a lot of what was women taking advantage of or ruining the chances of happiness of a “friend”.
But some mothers don’t like the male (or friend) that the daughter likes so the mother gets people together, tells them its for the daughters own good, lies about the boyfriend and they all help the mother convince the daughter to hate the boyfriend or intended, and the daughter goes with a male chosen by her mother instead.
You would be amazed at the amount of females who are happy to help their mothers or the parents destroy another females chances of happiness, especially sisters, and especially jealous sisters.
Sometimes in order to get a best friend or close friend of the daughter to fall-in and join the manipulation, the “friend” is offered a deal that the friend cannot refuse, normally money or something of that sort.
The daughter completely trusting the friend who has been a friend probably since school or a young age, and completely trusts that person. But, in this modern age people tend to have a price that weakens them and they sell out the friendship, and they lie to themselves and tell themselves that “it is the best for their friend” and they too join the ranks of the seduced to seduce the daughter.
Do realise that even if you won’t betray your friend for a price, your friend may have completely different (just not spoken) values and will sell you out for the right amount of money.
If you are a Believer, and you prayed and asked God to show you those who are not friends but are pretending that they are, don’t ignore God’s guidance.
Use common sense and logic, and if you look at your friend and ask yourselves, “Would she betray me to $20, 000?” Be logical, because most of your friends or all of your friends would. And even if that amount sounds ridiculous, remember that some people will go to great lengths because of pride or anger to achieve their goals.
This is why we are told to follow God, not people. If God gives you warnings, “coincidences”, red flags, take note, because God is letting you know that God heard conversations and plans you did not hear.
Sometimes God may show you that someone is leading you astray and in to a bad life or relationship, but that same friend can be a reasonable friend as long as you don’t allow that person to lead you astray.