One of the problems with explaining how the past went wrong for us, or that our own parents mistakenly brought us up wrong, or that even if we love our parents if they are mistaken about how to parent and we suffered (unknown to them or us) is that once we read about it we can get very angry at the person who brings up the mistakes that we made, especially as parents.

The reality is that we are not angry at the person who enlightened us, our conscience has been pricked, and we are aware that what the person says or writes makes sense, thus we are fearing that we made a mistake that we were very unaware that we were making.

It is very easy to blame the writer or speaker rather than face the truth that we made possibly a big mistake.

An example is a woman I know who was brought up by a feminist, hard woman, and a very egotistical father – both career people. The daughter wanted to please her parents and be like them, so when she had a family she was like them.
Years later she read about Feminism, Chauvinism, stay at home mothers and she realised that she could have done a better job as a stay at home mother rather than a career woman.
She became very angry – not at her mother, not at her father, but at the writer.

I discovered when I was young that if I gave someone advice he or she didn’t have to listen, and most didn’t, and even though at times I was sure that the advice I desperately wanted to share that would help that person and keep he or she out of trouble, I also knew that they were too set in their ways and far too proud to be corrected or guided.

As an adult I basically tell no one nothing. I write it on the Internet in images, posts, articles, and such on social media or my web sites and if they want to read it and see some worth in it that’s fine, if they don’t then that is fine as well.

I have been abused for what I write, and some people joked about my advice and what a fool they think that I am for writing it, even though I never ever offered them advice. I also discovered that once people think that you are a loser or they have spoken bad about you to other people (gossip and such) in a nasty or negative way, its too difficult for their pride to come down to earth and admit (to themselves) the mistake and even use the advice for themselves.

I like the saying, “Up to today you lived differently, but from today onwards you can change that, become a new person, be better than you were.” and the choice is up to you.

Ben Franklin was not always the wonderful person he turned out to be. He was young, very arrogant, and he had a friend who he felt was very wise. He asked his friend of his honest opinion of Ben, and Ben’s friend told him that he was a fool, arrogant and stuff like that. Deeply hurt, Ben changed his life and did a complete turnaround. Because you see, Ben discovered that while he was a fool he thought that he was amazing, wonderful and that his lifestyle was a good lifestyle. But once told otherwise he changed his character immediately.

It is hard for people to take advice and act on it if they don’t respect or like the messenger, so they discard the advice or Life Learning. I try to keep this in mind when reading advice from people who I personally don’t like much. So, mentally I try to separate the advice from the writer or person, and still get something from what he or she says.

The trouble is, especially these days, is that people when they read, or are told that they are not as good as they think that they are, they hate the messengers and discard the uncomfortable truth that’s in the message and stay as they were. Every day should be for learning something new, and personal change is a good lifetime habit to keep working at for the better of ourselves.