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Trusting yourself:
When you were young, like all children, you used your parents approval or disapproval as a gauge to determine whether you were good or bad. Because the approval of your toxic parents was so distorted, that gauge often required you to sacrifice your own version of reality in order to believe in something that didn't seem right to you. As an adult you may still be making that sacrifice...
You will discover that even when your parents don't agree with you or don't approve of what you are doing, you will be able to tolerate the anxiety because you don't need their validation anymore.
The more self-defined and independent you become, the less your parents are going to like it. Remember, it is the nature of toxic parents to be threatened by change. Toxic parents are often the last people in the world to accept your new, healthier behaviour. That is why it is so important for you to trust your own feelings and perceptions...
...it is up to you to free yourself from the destructive rituals of your family behaviour patterns.
As you gain more control over your past and present relationship with your parents, you will discover that your other relationships, especially your relationship with yourself, will improve dramatically. You will have freedom, perhaps for the first time, to enjoy your own life.
- Dr Susan Forward.