We all have fears.

James M Sandbrook

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We all have fears.

We all try and manage them to some degree, and some of us are more able to keep them from interfering with our lives while others of us can feel downright crippled.

All of these serve as a signal that there is something more going on, yet most often we are too busy bullying ourselves through it or trying to avoid it to slow down enough and pay attention. But, what if we were to actually do just that?

What is we were to stop and really check in with ourselves about what the underlying fear actually is trying to say to us?

More often than not, inside the tough exterior of our fear is a voice.

And more than that, it is a small voice that has a big need.

I find in my practice that when we slow down and get curious about a fear and listen for that voice inside of it,

we find that fears often (though not all the time) stem from unhealed wounds.

We find versions of ourselves that got stuck somewhere along the way and as a result of not knowing what else to do,

this part of the self camps out in a state of fear.

It could be from a past relationship where a part of the self felt defeated, therefore the fear says not to care too deeply or be too vulnerable.

It could be from an embarrassing moment that happened where the fear says not to stand out.

Or it could be from something someone has said to us and the fear says they must be right.

Actually, fear can grow from a wide variety of situations and circumstances

and we are all so unique that it would be impossible to name all the ways parts of our selves can get stuck in fear.

My point? When we learn to work with our fears, when we learn to identify the voice from which the fear finds it’s power,

we then have a tool and a method to help dissipate it.

We find that when we can speak to, encourage and express empathy to the part of us that got hurt (rather than just bullying ourselves through situations), we have a greater understanding of ourselves and are then better equipped to “face our fears”.

Armed with a new sense of self-compassion and appreciation, courage has an opportunity to grow and healing can take place.

- Carissa Coghlan.

August 1st, 2017.

"Everyone faces fears. Here is some advice on this sunject.

"Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it."

- Judy Blume.

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." - Dale Carnegie.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt.

"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."

--Yoda.

"The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." - Nelson Mandela.

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.' - Marie Curie.

"The key to change... is to let go of fear." - Roseanne Cash.

"He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones." - Thich Nhat Hanh.

"Have no fear of perfection--you'll never reach it." - Salvador Dali.

"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold."

--Helen Keller.

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott.

"One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do." - Henry Ford.

"Don't let the fear of striking out hold you back." - Babe Ruth.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does

actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt.

James M Sandbrook

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