I learned some years back that any situation can be seen in more than one way.
For instance a car accident can be seen by 5 people and they all give different accounts of what happened. verse in the Bible or a quote can be read by two people and a different understanding of the verse or quote is very possible – I have seen this many many times.
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I used to worry about the things that I do because I wanted people to see me for who I really am, so I hoped that by being me, being careful in what I say and do that people would say, “That’s a good man!”.
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But the horror was in the discovery that things can be taken two ways or more.
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Now with a gossip, a hater or a troublemaker whispering in someone’s ear, he or she could see something that I do and say that it is a bad, evil etc. I finally realised with this discovery that no matter what I do I will never make everyone happy, and people will see it differently anyway. Unfair as this may seem, people get things wrong sometimes – you have done this in the past yourself, if you look back honestly you will see this
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No matter how hard we try to put on a good impression some people are going to get the facts wrong, or some are going to cause trouble and lie and gossip. The extra stress and effort in trying to please the crowd and be what the crowd demands that we be is so time consuming, soul destroying and depressing that it will do us no good whatsoever. It is just years of struggles and slaving away to keep others thinking that we should be accepted in their lot. Pleasing the crowd is destroying our own dreams and killing our natural destiny.
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Nothing will change the crowds opinion, so don’t bother to try for their sake. Instead live life for your own sake the way that your heart and soul want to live.
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When we get to the stage in life where we don’t care what the crowd thinks, and we don’t care if we disappoint them, we have found personal freedom. We can help the crowd, but we do that on our own terms with our own strong boundaries, we don’t lower ourselves to be used, abused or shamed by a bunch of people who have already given up on their own dreams and who need each other for approval of our worth.
Any successful person will always tell you that the crowd thinking is of a far weaker value than the thinking of the individuals who change lives and who stand up on their own.
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So now I am just being me. If people really want to know about me, and what I think, believe, and the real reasons that I do what I do then they can ask. If they think that I am doing something wrong, or that I have done something wrong they can ask, and if they assume bad things and don’t ask me (but ask others) then that is their loss and foolishness. Because everyone knows that the truth can only be found from the one who truly knows.
If they ask it means that it is important to them. If they want to know then he or she will ask. If they don’t ask then that is fine, I really don’t care (not being mean, it is just a fact) so it does not bother me.
If people are really our friends then they will ask, and in the end they will be happy with what we are doing because they care that we are happy. True friends won’t laugh at us, they won’t try to shame us, instead they will stay our friends and help out if need be, and just be good company.
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“Good friends” are important, the crowd is “not important”. The crowd will just dream up any scandal, lies, gossip and whatever, but to me all of that will be of no consequence, because what is important to me is that I am happy with what it is that I want to do and who I want to be.
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This is freedom. This living our own truth, by our own choices, and living what suits our soul, heart and loves.
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The crowd can say what they want, and try to stop me, but as I walk away all that they will see is my back, and in their hearts they will all wish that they had the courage to stand strong, alone and able, to do the things that I want to do, and they know that I don’t need their recognition to do what I want. They will know also that I don’t judge who I am or my value on their popularity, something that the crowd envies due to their weaknesses to cling together because they want each others support to value themselves (by popularity).
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Friday, 19 February 2016, 8:33:37 PM.