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Advice for Young People starting out in life.
You are starting out on a long journey, your life, that will lead you many places, teach you much and help you to develop into a person who you want to love, respect and you want to be healthy so that you can enjoy your future.
It is wise to create from a young adult age a desire to stay healthy during your life.
Eating healthy, being clean, allowing only healthy content into your mind, being with good people, and the like means that you are preserving your mind, body and soul and preparing for a long healthy life.
Being mentally strong as an young adult means maintaining self respect and especially becoming an adult who you will like and enjoy being.
Making the choices that will bring about you liking and respecting yourself can be a trial and a challenge, but in the long run will help you have courage and confidence in yourself and your ability to face challenges and to cope in any given situation that comes your way.
Get used to saying a strong firm undeniable, “No!” to people. Please note that you own no-one an explanation why you said No! If people like you, are your real friends, respect you, and if they have your best interest at heart they will accept what you say and leave it at that.
People who pester you and try to push you into doing something that you have doubts about, treat them with suspicion and keep a distance from them, because regardless of what they say and promise, they do not have your best interests at heart.
There is a lot of talk of achieving for self, and there is pleasure in succeeding, meeting challenges and overcoming them.
There is also pleasure in giving. It feels good to give and in giving, it also feels like we have achieved something.
If we have a mentality of achieving for self and achieving for others we gain two forms of pleasure and a strong feeling of being good, worthy and helpful, especially to the needy or suffering, being aware that one day we could be in their position in life.
The long-term gain is of feeling worthy, and having self respect.
If we are conscious about what is happening around us in life, in our work place, in our friendships, we can make decisions based on what is best for everyone including ourselves.
It is important to see other people’s points of view as well as our own, while also wanting to support and help others, but not forgetting our own needs.
Knowing the difference between wants and needs is very important.
“Needs” are what we should have so that we function mentally, spiritually, physically and soulfully.
“Wants” are things that we don’t need, but could have as well.
Being aware that our parents are not perfect, never have been perfect, that they are human, and have made many mistakes and therefore be thankful for their advice and direction but also note that you too are human and that you must make your own choices and decisions according to the path that you feel is yours to take.
Not enough is said about self-Like, and too much is said about achieving your goals.
Your goals are fine, but your goals will be a lot more healthier for yourself and others if your foundation of belief is mature and well structured.
As a young adult, think about what you want for the future and then when temptations come your way by people who are not that concerned about their own future and make immature irrational decisions, you can easily say, “No thank you!” because you want something better for your future and you don’t want to consciously make decisions that can bring about situations where you will be weakened and do something that you will dislike yourself for.
Knowing what is good for your mental health, body ad soul makes it easier to make choices about life. It makes saying that you don’t want to participate in something and that there will be n “grey-area’s” where people can talk you into doing something that you will dislike yourself for doing later on.
Being concerned about your own health, body and soul is very important and should always be on your mind.
Being concerned about the world, the environment, about animals and their right to live free, have natural enjoyable lives, about other people, other countries, and what is clean, healthy and good for all, should be of concern as well.
The planet is our Greater Home, the Wider-World, and that being so we need to care for the environment and those on the planet for our own good and for the generations to come.
In knowing this, if our choices are made that will help preserve a healthy planet we will respect ourselves for being that kind of good person who genuinely cares for all living things including the general health of the planet we live on.
A general focus on what you want for your own future and the future of others helps us make the right choices.
School education is good for learning how to do things, like read, write, mathematics, but cannot teach you what you need to know to be strong willed within, to have self respect, to be at peace with yourself and the world, to have courage, confidence and faith in yourself and others.
We need a mental dividing within our minds about Both forms of education, School Education and Life Education.
Once we know the importance of both we need seek the ways in which we can gain both.
Talking with people helps, especially older people, but listening is important – We learn when we are listening. You don’t have to take onboard in your soul everything you are told, because it may have applied to others, but does not apply to you and your life at this time.
Be aware always that the two forms of education are important in your life.
Look around and notice other peoples’ lives, note how they live, act, how they were educated, and then see what they do with it all.
Good advice is reading biographies, we can learn from other people’s lives.
Get Real:
Some things are very obvious but to the masses they are not.
A good example is the mass adoration of the rich. They hoard billions of dollars that could help the needy, build homes and in general do much good, but they hold the money selfishly in banks with many excuses why they do so.
Being Real is noting that they are successful at what they have done, but they fail in character because they are selfish and greedy.
By Being Real and seeing people and life as they really are you will save your own life a lot of grief in the future, and will find true friends instead of fakes because you will be able to recognize the fakes easily after a while.
The years between 10 to 20 are for growing into a mature adult. The less time we learn and mature the more struggles we will have as adults after the age of 20.
The young adults years are for preparation for adulthood.
Many will tell you to party it up, try this and that, and before you know it the years have drifted away and as an adult in the world you are struggling to cope because the learning years between 10 to 20 were wasted on activities that did not teach you anything, did not help you grow, and just filled up time and years, leaving you later on struggling as an adult.
The years of birth until ten are for the laying of a foundation of confidence, courage, and coping skills and strategies to help us cope during the year between 10 to 20.
With that foundation, in its basic form, we head into our teenager years preparing for adulthood as strong, capable, mature, capable adults.
Laying waste to these valuable years with foolishness and immaturity sets us up for decades of struggles because the Life Education did not continue after the age of 10, somewhere in the teenager years it faltered, became confusing, as we were introduced to wasteful activities stripping away our confidence, courage and coping skills.
If you find that people are trying to use Peer Pressure to push you into doing things that you are uncomfortable with then you should consider the Grey Rock Method.
The object is to be a Gray Rock to people who you don’t want in your life. As long as they think that you are colourless and boring they will never try to include you in what they do, which is exactly what you want to happen.
When it comes to party time on the weekends, or events, and so on, you are not noticed because people don’t want a grey boring rock at their parties.
In being like this you still have a wonderful life, but you appear as a boring grey rock to the public who you don’t want to associate with, and this gets you out of all sorts of difficult situations.
By letting them think that you are not as good as them is fine, as you don’t need their types to validate what a good soul you are.
Being a grey rock means that manipulators can’t talk you into anything that they know that you are not interested in.
Manipulators find Grey Rock people very frustrating and like a rock that won’t budge in their beliefs and therefore can’t use, abuse and manipulate them. So if you make all of your interactions with people you struggle to say No to, as uninteresting as possible, you avoid giving the other person anything they can use to manipulate you. Being a Grey Rock and stubborn means that they will give up on you and that is exactly what you want.
Keep conversation completely non-stimulating, non-suggestive, and don’t react with a smile to what they say, suggest or their witty remarks, just be a grey rock and they will get the hint that you are not interested and are happy as you are without that person in your life.
People who are immature and need people around them to validate themselves like to party and get as many people to their parties as possible so that they can boost their ego’s and feel popular even if ignored for the rest of the week by the partygoers.
These people want you to go for their sakes, not yours, so not going and knowing that heaps of other people are going or even few are going is a good reason to stay home and be a Grey Rock.
Being a Grey Rock is safety and security, because as long as you come across as boring uneventful, uninteresting and not exciting people will just not want you in their space of which they are desperately wanting to be exciting, random and colourful.
The idea is to be less appealing to people who you don’t feel comfortable with or who take part in activities that you are uninterested in or think are foolish and dangerous. Immature foolish people dislike mature stable people because the immature mind see’s maturity as boring and uneventful, so head for maturity and a reputation of being a strong stable mature person, and immature people will avoid you like you have a disease.
Responding to people with a noncommittal response like not even making an effort for their attention, not looking up when they talk to you, not returning text messages, not responding to them. These small things make sure that they get the message that you are not interested and that you want them gone.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
3rd of June, 2021.
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