I would want true friends. Not friends that would turn on me and judge me when I was getting a bit lost. I would want friends who had the courage to stand by my when the tough times came and I would want them to trust me enough to know that I would die for them. I would want friend who followed God too because of their values and belief in doing the right thing. Even if one or two were telling lies I would want the majority to have those values that would keep the rest on that straight and narrow path – that would mean that I could trust the majority of them with my heart and soul.

I would want to be the true friend that I hope I am.

 

A wife. A woman I could trust who would take me as I am. I would prefer that a woman fell in love with me while I was not that well off because it would mean that she wanted me and not material things or fame or fortune. Any guy can get a woman who wants material things, there is no challenge or worth in such a relationship – she will be on her independent way once the fame, fortune etc run out.

But to get a lady with values who would love me with all her heart and soul, now that is something mighty special, a love to last a lifetime. To have a woman who loves children and wants the best for them as I do would be a great treasure.

A women who wouldn’t care how other people judged me, because she trusts me and in her heart knows me as I really am. She would defend me if she needed to do so and would be strong and faithful in my absence.

She would be someone who followed God because that would mean that she had strong values and was morally intact. It would mean that once she committed her heart to me and I committed my heart to her that there would be no parting of our souls as we would be one. That should be the dream for all of us – to have a marriage that had our two souls as one. One can truly trust someone who will stay at our side forever – kindred spirits are soul mates joined together forever.

Kindred spirits are two who have experienced much the same things during their lives and are familiar with each others ways and thoughts because that is the way that they are. They would have the same values, the same ideals and the same wants in life. It just couldn’t get better.

I have been single since 2004 because I have waited and I would easily wait forever because a person who really wants love will wait.

A person who “thinks that they want love” will dabble with others, and have many difficult situations, and all sorts of unwanted and miserable issues with the opposite gender and probably even with their own gender.

Dating is not a sensible choice to someone who really wants love. Dating is a game of trying people out like cattle and hoping that they will get the desired beef someday and had might as well try out the rest of the stock while looking. They dress themselves up and give dating pretty romantic names, add some flowers, some chocolates, add some alcohol to faze the thinking and its anyone’s game after that – but that is not love, and often ends in unhappiness. That is not the spiritual love that God planned for us.

By waiting and not dating we are showing that we will be faithful in marriage and not tempted to run off with some person for a cheap thrill.

This should be especially important to women who expect to have babies in the future. If your man cannot control his hunting women lusts when you are pregnant he will play the field because of a lack of self control. Think about that. Do you want to be in hospital having the baby of the towns most wanted hunk while he is showing other women why you married him in their beds? Never marry for anything other than love.

There is no point in a marriage just to destroy it and ruin children’s and families lives. Marriage must be focused on the future and the end goal – a life together. It must be real in order for it to last and the two getting married must have the same thoughts, same wants, same needs and the same desires and dreams for the future otherwise it will simply die a very miserable death or be a living death until they die.

 

If you are divorced why would you want to go through the same thing again?
Ask yourself this and then deny yourself more years of misery and self destruction – be wise.
Learn from the past, don’t go back to it. The things that we did wrong in the past ended in divorce so doing the same things again, parties, dating etc will end up mostly in the same place. Why bother. Better to get yourself ready for the real thing as God intended it to be for you.

Some time alone gives us time to truly look at ourselves. Remove some baggage, and improve on our future marriage. To go in as we were from the past takes away the hope for the future.

A marriage can be built on a strong worthy foundation. If so then it can hold a family together. We all know that a family divided is a place of strife and unhappiness.

In order for the marriage to be strong it must be marriage for the right reasons from the beginning. That means a man and woman married because they love one another (not because they desire the flesh – sexual activity is important but not as important as the needs of the heart and soul) and because they have the same feelings about family and what a family is worth. They must be real and genuine from the start.

If the two have faith in God, faith in one another the marriage will last. If they both follow God’s directions which means to honour one another, and to respect one another to never ask the other to do something shameful or unworthy it will last.

To cause the other to lose respect is to kill the love between one another – in time they will feel a distaste for one another and will look upon the other not in that gentle love of innocence that they heart wanted when as a child. Older and unhappier they will divorce.

Love with marriage is the joining of two people who want the same things together for their future and family. The man needs to know that his wife will be worthy and strong and will not put herself before the children and the woman needs to know the same of him.

 

Marriage between a man and woman is a miracle that God created and it was created so that it could be held together with love. God is love. God should be the bonding that holds the family together, strong and secure. God should be the rock that no person could ever shatter or take away.

If you want the best then you must past the tests. A
nd when you do listen to your lessons of life, wait, stay strong, focus on God, values, and learn to want a strong godly spiritual family then God will give it to you.

I really hope that everyone in the world has a wonderful family, but I know that will not happen. The reason it won’t happen has nothing to do with love or God – it has to do with impatience, lack of faith in God, weakness and a lack of courage.

 

All the best from
James M Sandbrook.

First Published – 16th of September, 2013.