Its like that famous saying, “Its anger that puts us there, and pride that keeps us there!”, but I would also like to add to that it is Immaturity that puts us there and Pride that keeps us there.
I have been writing for years about people growing up in homes where the parents were very successful, or alcoholics, or career parents or one parent homes and so on, where the parents either were not able to, or didn’t have the time to, or believe that they needed to, be active in their own children’s lives enough to teach them about Life, Emotional control, the evils of the world, the temptations of the world and such.
Because the parents are very effectively, “in the house but not there for their children’s personal Life-Growth” the children become adults who are still very immature within.
The very same thing happens when children are abused and their Life-Learning is messed up, and all sorts of emotional struggles come from the abuse.
As Adults these people are struggling to cope.
Even if they are high earners, very efficient at work, have titles, are very educated and even if they are popular or famous, they are Children in many ways in Adult Bodies.
The Child-Within has not grown to maturity and this is why we have the likes of Road-Rage, and many tantrum-like outbursts (just like an angry child who does not get what he or she wants).
People in this unbalanced (In the sense of the body has grown but the mind not so efficiently) mental state say things that are very immature or do very foolish things (like casual sex while in a wonderful loving relationship) – they lack the mental Maturity to say, “No thank you!” or just walk away.
If you think about all the famous people who seem to have control, are very successful, but when they make public statements they can say something very foolish and even very stupid, and when they are confronted (by maybe a reporter) weeks later, they get upset and either confirm the stupid foolish statement or even make it far worse.
The Immature Mind reaches out delighted to be tempted and grabs the temptation just like a child reaches for something sweet to eat.
The child has no idea that the sweet will rot his or her teeth, and the Immature Adult will go for any foolish thing the same way, incapable of perceiving the damage that they will do for his or her own future or life, or damage their body or mental health.
If the Immature Adult has a loving trusting spouse and has been caught out having sexual contact with someone else, instead of seriously apologizing and so forth, they get (tantrum) angry and stand up or even verbally or physically attack the innocent partner as if the innocent partner did something wrong.
This immature reaction to their own guilt causes so much more harm and possibly destroys any chance of the marriage ever being repaired.
See the connection between this and childish behaviors?
The Child-Adult-Mind is not developed.
It is not in Emotional Control, nor is the Child-Mind Mature, or Stable, or has the ability to use Common Sense or Logic, but you can be sure by the child’s demands and anger, the child thinks that he or she is capable of running his or her own life.
Because of this lack of mental development in many adult minds they tend to do or say things that are very immature, foolish, illogical, irresponsible and so on, and then when they have to explain themselves for what they said or did they lose the plot, because their mind has no defense or backup plan, or ability to maturely apologise and ask forgiveness (without pride getting in the way.
The Adult Immature Mind struggles to control his or her Pride.
Pride controls The Immature Mind.
But even if they did apologise some wouldn’t do it publicly because to do so (as any narcissist will tell you) hurts their pride (Like children fighting in the sandbox and refusing to admit guilt), and public opinion is more important than their marriage, job, friendships and so on.
They will Blame-Shift to make someone else take the Blame just so that the Immature (narcissist ) Mind looks good to the general public, thus retaining their own prideful thinking about themselves being clever and smarter than others (Acting childish).
If you are dealing with a person and he or she says or does something childish or foolish, and when confronted about it, they get even more foolish irrational and so on (they act prideful and immature) try to understand the mental state of the mind that you are dealing with, and in doing so you should come to the conclusion that Adult-Immaturity was what you are dealing with.
Once this is established you can be sure that all future interactions and conversations with this person will be with a person who does not understand or comprehend what you are about because you are Mature and the other person still not Mature yet.
Knowing this, tells you that either you find a way to help this person grow (and many like being Immature and foolish) or move on, because regardless of how much you may love this person, he or she will never be able to be a good friend, spouse and so on, because you both cannot understand one another or help each other.
There are a lot of Mature Hard Choices that we must make in life, and some require moving on, or walking away from people, to get yourself peace of mind, and to remove years of pointless struggle and sadness, dealing with people who are not capable of understanding you and what you are all about.
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