If you go through life always feeling very bad when you have let someone down, even by accident, this can be because the Narcissists in your past have preconditioned your mind to self hate when they made out that you had let them down and not done what they wanted you to do (things that are in their favour and not yours but you don’t realise this).
The preconditioning that they do to your mind is to make you feel very bad when you don’t do as they want, and therefor you fear or hate that feeling so you try harder to make the Narcissist-in-your-life happier and do as they want, and unintentionally, on your part, you keep the relationship very unbalanced and in the Narcissists favour and not yours.
This is behaviour we need to stop, and learn to live our own life, with self respect, and making our own choices and not feeling so guilty when we let others down.
Please remember, you may not have let that person down, they just tell you that you have, in reality they could easily have done it themselves, but then again they want a preconditioned slave don’t they??? – James Martin Sandbrook.