First I would only marry a woman who knows that “both of us” need healing from past relationships and childhood.
With that established, I would allow her to mature and ensure that her needs are being met, while knowing that my needs were being met by her.
Because we both have issues Rule 1 would be that we wait for on the other – meaning that we are patient with the other if the other is having struggles.
Both take charge in area’s around the home, with the children, with the finances and so on, and each finding their best talents while also excelling in them for the greater good of all in the family.
In a fair home there are two leaders, he and she, hand in hand, both making the choices for all with lots of compassion, and discussion, compromise and care.
The thought of hurting the other would break the others heart, and faithful they will be, because to be unfaithful would have a devastating affect on the heart and soul of the other, and hurting their spouse would be like cutting themselves and bleeding in physical pain.
Porthos, the cat, was walking on a plank stalking a bird, and when Porthos got to the end of the plank he went fell over the end, when Porthos got back up he carried on creeping up on the bird.
Originally I laughed when Porthos fell off the edge of the plank. But what occurred to me was that because Porthos had no idea he was laughed at he continued on serious with what he wanted to do.
I realized that I was often laughed at as a child. And this had seriously affected my self confidence and ability to cope with life.
So it occurred to me that as a husband I would not laugh, not instead comfort, encourage, inspire and motivate when she made a mistake so that she would be encouraged to try again and then with time see that mistakes are a good thing, because they are stepping stones to how to do things.
As I did this for her she would do the same for me, giving me an environment that was safe, loving, fair, protective and helping me – I had never had this before.
There would be much communication with us both seeking answers to the others pasts while also seeking answers to our own pasts.
As long as we are both aware that each other is not complete, not developed in a dysfunctional environment (society), we both seek that which will make us mature, developed and complete, and we know that by being so we will be a mature marriage partner for each other.
There would be no condemnation because both is mature enough to know that each did foolish things, made mistakes, hurt people and caused strife, and both repent and regret it now.
This is about healing, taking away the pain, and bringing forth self respect, courage, faith in each other and God, and lover for all.
Humble Married Souls don’t point the finger at each other, instead they hug, and hug and love each other.
Looks don’t count. If one is overweight, why?
Comfort eating?
Depression?
as the healing continues in a fair, just, loving, righteous environment the overeating, the addictions, the issues, the anxieties, the fears, all disappear, and self love, understanding, replace the past and its issues and All Things Become knew!
As man and wife heal one another, they grow in gratefulness, love and compassion for the other as they come to understand why each was damaged, what happened and how they really needed each other to cope through this amazing journey of complete change.
You see, in the end I want a strong, courageous and very capable marriage partner who will stand at my side through thick and thin and we will, as the best of friends, take each other into consideration at all times.
Its a journey of change, being born again into each others arms, and starting again as new lovers with God’s Blessings.