1. They don’t take responsibility
This is a classic sign of victim behaviour. A victim has trouble accepting they contributed to a problem and accepting responsibility for the circumstance that they are in. Instead, they point the finger, or simply ignore their role in perpetuating the problem. They are not overtly saying “I’m a victim”, but instead indirectly sending the message that they’re a martyr.

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2. They are frozen in their life.
Victims believe that they are at the mercy of everyone and everything around them. Usually, a victim will not make progress or advance in their life because they perceive that they are powerless. As a result, their life is stagnant. If you were to ask them why, they would respond by giving you a laundry list of reasons why they are stuck. The real sticking point here is that the victim will not usually tell you what they plan to do about their lack of progress in life.
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3. They hold onto grudges
The victim likes to hang onto old grievances. They carry these around like weapons, just in case anyone ever tries to hold them accountable for something. A victim will bring up old memories and events in which they were probably legitimately hurt, but they use them as reasons why they can’t make changes to their attitude, their life, or their circumstances in the present. These hurts and grudges underpin the victim’s hobbled life. .
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4. They have trouble being assertive
The victim does not truly believe they can control their life, so they struggle to state what they need, desire or deserve. The victim’s life will usually involve repeating patterns of submissiveness and passivity. This pattern is detrimental to self-esteem and personal development. The victim fails to break this pattern and suffers from potential anxiety or depressive disorders.
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5. They feel powerless
This could be a shadow behaviour, meaning that the victim does not outwardly show that they feel powerless. Instead, the victim will try to be manipulative, coercive, and underhanded in getting what they need. You may have dealt with someone experiencing this kind of powerlessness. Usually, the victim is someone that is suspicious of others, feels insecure, and is constantly needing to know the latest gossip.
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6. They don’t trust others
This issue is not only a problem of not trusting others. This is a problem of the victim not believing they are trustworthy themselves. The victim makes the assumption that other people are exactly like them – untrustworthy.
What’s the remedy here? Examine the evidence. Are all people untrustworthy? Probably not. There are trustworthy people in the world. There are people that want the best for you. There are people that want to help you. It is the job of the victim to begin revising their old assumptions about people.
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7. They don’t know when to say enough is enough
In relationships, victims have no sense of limits. They don’t know when to say enough is enough.
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8. They get into arguments easily
The victim has trouble choosing their battles. To them, every battle is a war. To them, they are under attack all the time.
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9. They feel sorry for themselves
Victim have a habit of pitying themselves. Their mirror reflects a defenceless child that cannot fend for itself. Since other people do not usually show them sympathy or empathy, they try to give it to themselves, only to potentially appear immature to others. This further traps them in the victim role.
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10. They constantly compare themselves to others
The victim usually struggles with the habit of comparing themselves to others negatively. The truth is that we are all lacking in some respect compared to others. No one has it all.
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11. They see life as always lacking
Even when something good happens, the victim will seek out what’s lacking or what’s missing. The victim will complain about complaining and then complain that they can’t stop complaining. It’s a deadly cycle.
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12. They are a critic
The victim has a need to put others down and find fault in people. By doing these things, they get a fleeting sense of superiority.

13. They think they are perfect

Ironically, when there is a chance that a victim could be caught in an error, they suddenly become perfect.

This arrogance and narcissism closes the victim off from having truly trustworthy and cooperative relationships.
What’s the remedy here?
They need to remove the word ‘perfect’ from their vocabulary, and accept that they are human and are not perfect.

In fact, the victim needs to realize that the more they own their mistakes and failings, the more others will gravitate towards them.
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14. They cut people out of their life

“I’ve had it – they are out of my life for good!”
If you’ve heard that statement before and it wasn’t in reference to an actually dangerous or abusive situation, then you’re probably dealing with a victim.

Rather, this statement was likely made in reference to everyday behaviors and relationship problems the victim finds challenging.
In response to this, their default strategy is to cut people out of their lives.
This highly emotional behaviour creates chaotic relationships.

What’s the remedy here? Breathe. Stop the brain chatter for a moment.
Take a walk.

The victim needs to recognize their pattern of cutting people off.
Cutting people off usually doesn’t lead to the resolution of problems and conflict.
They could always take a different, more positive approach, such as letting people know their feelings instead.

In the end, the victim will end up facing painful consequences in their life and relationships if they do not change their behaviour.

As with most things in life, alternative options are there, we just have to be willing to look for them and make a start.

– Christian Maciel.