The “Positive” Manipulative Lie is making out to a person over and over again that what they have is great so much so that the victim is so engrossed in the positive thinking and the big goal of happiness that the victim cannot see all the negatives, the warnings, the bad character of those around them until it is too late.

During the early 1990’s I was very depressed, struggling with an alcoholic wife who preferred partying to being a wife and mother. Life had come to a dead end and I was very unhappy.

One day at work a man called Gordon showed me Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich and I was amazed. I had never heard this, we are equal, we are all capable, and if we remain positive, goal orientated, we could have it all.

Gordon gave me other “Positive” books to read and I devoured them with my mind, and for a few years I lived that Positive Thinking in my mind. I did goal-setting, the works. It all fell flat though, and I was astonished because I did all that was required of me to succeed, so why hadn’t I “Made it!”

Within probably the last ten years I came across the discovery that if a person is totally focused on one thing that they become blind to anything else. The whole goal-setting thing is about that anyway. Pick your education, your goal, and educate and live your goal until you experience it, as your goal becomes the only thing that you will think about.

I realized that if all I saw was positive I could not see negatives, and therefore I was blind to half the world and what was going on around me. people call this focused, but you may note that many so-called focused people walk all over other people to get to the top, because they become cold and “object orientated” and only want one thing in life, their goal for themselves.

What people want who have an insecure mind is constant laughter and joy in their lives, they think that “this is the dream” but they are drastically wrong.

The Negatives are often “Warnings” such as Omens, gut feelings, instincts, discernment, and so on. The negatives is the dark side of something “that we should be aware of“.

Doubts creeping in the mind is another form of warning. But the manipulator will say that the doubts must be ignored, if they are to be happy, and have “the dream”. Kind of like, “Honey, forget the negatives, this is about us, the good times for you and me, so ignore those bad feelings, they are just trying to destroy what we have going with each other“.

What the manipulator really means is that if you listen to your inner soul, your doubts, your instincts you will save yourself from many years of being abused by the manipulator, and that is the last thing that the manipulator wants.

We have to face that there are evil people in the world who like being evil to innocent nice people, and they are controlling, nasty and will go to all lengths to seduce, mentally-capture and abuse you for as long as they can, because they enjoy it. You don’t need to understand the “Why’s?” about it, all you need to understand is that these smooth nasty people exist.

What manipulators do to make a person think that “they are the dream” is to make the victim think only positives about life their life, their life together and to focus on the goal only, of their future together and nothing else – so that the victim will be like the goal setter, only thinking of the great dream while digging themselves so deep in the trap set for them by their narcissist manipulator lover.

I know a case where a woman is being manipulated by a group of people, and she has been put with a very nasty narcissist, but when you see her around town with him she has this huge dizzy blonde blue-eyed smile that states, “I am living the dream!” while she walks side by side with the man manipulating and abusing her.

A lot of what these manipulators do to their victims is abuse but they claim that it must be done for “whatever reason” and that she must put up with it because “its for her own good”, “to help her through something” and all the while she becomes used to the manipulation and abuse that it becomes normal life for her. The abuse and manipulation becomes her blind-positive-dream.

As more and more evidence over the weeks, months and years come into focus, because of the goal-orientated thinking of the victim, the victim casts aside all doubts, proof, evidence, because it is seen as the enemy to keep the victim from the dream with her or his lover. This is exactly why the manipulator makes the victim so “Positive Focused” – Focused means that the victim will only think about what the victim is told to think about in their relationship and nothing else is acceptable. Unknown to the victim he or she is not allowed to think, or to think for themselves, they are only told to focus on what the manipulator has told them to do – This is Mind Control.
The victim is led to believe that he or she had a part in the planning and ideas, and therefore it is both of their dream.

So once the goal is “planted in the victims mind” the victim see’s the couple as them against the world, both with the same desires and goals, both heading down the same path, and the only focus in the victims mind is that God Blessed future that is bound to happen, and all real, truth evidence and fact is pushed aside.

Also anyone putting doubts in the victims mind is pushed out of their lives and is seen as the enemy by the victim under the guidance of the narcissist manipulator, even old friends and people who have proven over the years to realty care. The only thing that matters to the victim is their focus, that God Blessed life that God has been trying for years to lead the victim from.

The victims friends, Flying Monkeys, are used against the victim (but they think that they are helping the victim) have all been told that she has mental issues and to make her happy they have been told to only focus “positives” on her, about her about her life about her partner, about their children, and being abused as a child she is the eternal baby, the eternal child who is a people-pleaser – she lives for the “Positive Dream” that does not and will not ever exist with the narcissist manipulator.

When she makes a post on social media she thinks that all her friend’s are cheering her on, but really they are happy that the person with mental hassles is dealing with life (out of their hair) for a while so they layer the positives and happiness on her supporting the narcissist manipulator and her future of abuse and having no idea that they are doing it.
Many are pretending to be her fans because they were told to keep a constant “feel-good-feeling” in her heart making her feel that she was liked, supported, wanted, and so on – this makes her think that her life is on-track with the lover (manipulator).

Because all her focus and all her friends focus is on how great the narcissist is, they can’t see the evil in him, or recognize the manipulation going on with her – the victim is probably only telling people what they want to hear and now about the loneliness and tears.

The woman is blind to the manipulation because she desires and strives with all her heart to be happy. Sure she breaks down and cries from time to time, loses the plot, but he just comforts her and tells her that it is simply her being over tired etc when in reality it is her body, mind and soul trying to tell her that she is in a narcissistic relationship that can only end in years of misery.

The point here is that a person can be totally manipulated by a narcissist manipulator by being told constantly that everything is all right and that they are living the happy wholesome dream, which actually living the opposite, and because the victim is a people pleaser the victim once committed is to scared to leave the “perfect dream ” because of what their friends will think and because the victim has made such a scene about how happy they are, positive, blooming with good times that is ashamed to admit that their are suicidal thoughts, depression, addiction and anxiety.

The perfect dream does not exist and never will, neither will the perfect person or perfect relationship.
Good times exist with bad times, and often the negatives hold a very strong warning and message that should not be ignored or covered over by Positive Manipulation.

The ongoing pretense of the victim and narcissist manipulator being “equally-yoked” is part of the seducing. The narcissist manipulator knows that the dream of a religious person is to be equally yoked, therefore their main desire is to “find someone” who meets the criteria – so all the manipulator needs to do is fake it so that he or she fits the bill. Once the victim is convinced that this is God Blessed true love the path in the mind of the victim has been found and now only happiness can be the result.

If anyone comes up to the victim of this form of manipulation and tells the victim that they are being manipulated by an evil person the manipulator just says that the other person is a trouble maker and to avoid them, thus ensuring that the victim gets no help from outsiders and because of the mentally-blind obedience to the manipulator and Positive Thinking the victim is in a dream world that doe snot exit and one day will wake up from it with the recognition that they were manipulated to giving their own life and the children’s life to an abuser, and they did it with a big smile on their face.

If you are ever in a relationship with a manipulator, realize that you will one day leave that person completely shattered and mentally a mess, so why not leave that person now while you still have some of your mental facilities in order and a chance of a better life.

All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
10th of June, 2021.