Parenting & Children Notes.

I can hear the cry now. Parents shocked and unhappy about their teenagers activities or their children negative behaviour at school or when they are with their friends.
How can this be? I was a good parent! I bought home the money and food, kept them warm, sent them to good school. I did the best with what I could afford. I worked hard. They had the best child-care that I could get. How could my children have done this to me?

First a rule. Do as you tell your children to do.

In other words don’t tell your children not to drink alcohol and then go out with your friends and drink. You are setting a bad example. What do you mean you have to wind down after a hard week. You feel that you have to let off steam. Your children will do as you do, and often they could ignore what it is that you say and just do as you do. With or without your permission.
The answer to this problem: Take control of your life, and then teach your children how they can control their lives.

We parents need to become friends with our children, but not drinking friends, or partake in anything that allows them to partake in weaknesses in character that we may have.
To do this we need to spend time with them. Lots of time. If you son spends most of his time with Billy Jones, at school and after school, your son will blend with Billy. Over time they will become close friends, they will share secrets, and chat often. They will bond as friends and you son will come to admire Billy and Billy will come to admire your son. Will friendship and admiration comes trust.

If Billy changes his ways when he becomes a teenager there is a good chance he will drag your son into this new negative behaviour with him. But if you spend good quality time with your son. If both you parents spent good quality time with your son then he will feel closer to you both. He will ask you personal questions and you will need to be honest and answer them when he asks them. Your bonding with your son will bring him closer to you. This will make it harder for your son to take the word of his friends, especially when he knows that Mom and Dad don’t pull the wool over his eyes and don’t lie to him.

The advise here is simple. Create good quality friendships with your children. Spend lots of time with them. Don’t spend your adult life making excuses why you “need” to be away from your family. be with them. A parent is a part of his and her family. Your family is a part of a world of families.

All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Thursday, ‎11 ‎January ‎2007, ‏‎5:14:26 PM.