Parenting & Children Notes.

Sometimes a child may complain of being given too much work or work that the child didn’t create, such as a mess of cutout paper on the floor.
The child may claim that she is being treated unfairly. The child may tell you that she didn’t make the mess and that she should only clean up the messes that she made.

A solution to this problem is for the parent to sit the child down and talk to the child about what it is that the parents do for the child out of love and necessity. You see, the young child understandably takes many of the chores that you do for that child for granted. The child may even assume that you will always do those chores him. The child does not realise at a young age that the child will one day do many of those chores as well, and for himself. A parent should make the child aware of this when a child makes false claims.

You can (gently) point out to the child that you do many of her chores like washing her clothes, making her bed (if she is to small for this chore), doing her dishes after she has eaten, cooking her food (and the food of her brothers and sisters) and the list goes on. In a well organized sitting, the parent (you) and the child can discuss the situation. maybe a list could be made to show visually to the child the chores of the home and how many you do for the child, and what the child does for herself.

A parent may make up that list and go through each item on the list with the child with the child having to tell you what chore he does. Do make sure to include chores that the child does do. Make sure that all the while that you are discussing these issues that you do appreciate the child’s help and that you love the child. No attempt should be made to put the child down in any way. To upset the child by making him feel inferior (and maybe not a good house helper) you will put the child on the defensive and what you are trying to get across to the child will not get there. After going through the list the child will realise just how many chores that exist in that household, and at the same time realise just what it is that other members of the house do (chores) to help the child and themselves. It should always be known to all the children of the home that chores are a family affair.

Parents should always appreciate the help that they get from their children and never should the parent assume that the children are there to “do” the house chores. Although chores are a family affair, the chore-system should be carefully arranged and the chores fairly distributed among all the family members. This is a good way to teach your children to organize their own futures, and it will teach the children, from a young age, how to be responsible.

The child may make some claims as to her being unfairly treated while other members of the family do less chores. But with some common sense and going through some (or all) of other family members chores (especially the chores that they do unselfishly for the complaining child) you can explain that the system that you use works and that it benefits all members of the family equally.

The main thing to get across to a young child in this situation is that all the chores are dealt out fairly, and that the biggest, hardest and more dangerous chores are done by the older more capable members of the family.

All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
‎Tuesday, ‎17 ‎April ‎2007, ‏‎9:30:26 AM.