Parenting & Children Notes.

Parenting (Being A Father)

Well you know, I enjoyed having my own children. From the day that my first child was born I felt a change in my life, a surge to be a good father and to do the best for this child and any new ones that appear in the future. Fatherhood was to me, a true and welcome blessing.

I felt good about the whole thing. I had this deep satisfaction, this deep feeling of now being really worth something. And I now knew that I had “something” to spend my time on, yes I would be putting in some time in with my children – and that is exactly what I did.

Being a father, to me, is a wonderful experience, a true challenge, with many struggles and deep satisfaction when success came my way as a father. Oh yes, this was one of the greatest moments in my life. To have a child of my own was a good feeling. This meant (in time) trips to the park. Playing on playground equipment with my children (I wasn’t allowed to do this on my own, but with children I now was part of this special group who was allowed to frolic like a child, while I pretended to be “helping the children have fun” etc.). There will be trips in the car and the joy of showing my children the amazing discoveries to be found in nature.

I wonder if many fathers of today (especially the young fathers) have this feeling of great joy when the child is born and then it disappears with all the hard work that is involved in the upbringing of the child.

When a child is small it is a wonder to behold before your own eyes. To be a good parent you must try to keep this wonder in your mind as your child grows up. This little-one is a “gift”. Because we believe that we ‘do all the physical work’ in creating our children, we forget the blessing that God puts upon us with each new child that we have. If a parent looses that special “wonder” then the child could end up being a simple liability to that parent, or a hassle.

One thing to do is to not be caught up in the feeling that the child was not wanted, or was unexpected and you wished that it had come at a more convenient time. If you two people are going to be ‘doing the work’ to create the child, then you have got to expect some results from all that work. It could be compared with a sports person who trains often. Eventually the reward for all that training will come to the dedicated sports person. The same applies to two people trying hard to bring themselves some joy from “all that work” (or does the word ‘effort’ seem better?).

So lets be mature about this and realise that simple logic should have prepared us for this wonderful gift.

Okay I will pull no punches here. The children of today are created-mentally by the people in today’s modern society.

A person must see his or her child as a part of the family – easily said. This “part” of the family is an addition to the Father and Mother. The 3 become the 1. They all are family members in the same family group.

When a child is small he should be nursed as a child was nursed in days gone by. Many new views have been introduced to parenting. In fact the ‘rules’ for parenting have been changing yearly, with new “breakthroughs” being made. A baby should be breast-fed on a regular basis and only weaned at a later stage of the babies life. The mother of the child should stay at home with the child at least until the child is at school age “if” the child will be taking part in education in this manner. Many, many books and papers have been written on the advantages to the mother staying home to look after her child when he or she is a baby and on the subject of breast feeding and a babies general health.

A new thought of modern times is that a child should be ‘left in a room to cry’. I never liked this idea and have not seen any reason for a person to do this. I have been told by people (all woman) that this is necessary to ensure that the child will learn to go to sleep without his mother being in the same room, or because the child will not sleep, or so that the mother does not need to stay with the child and rock it to sleep etc. A child that feels that it is with friends and has less reason to learn fear at this tender age is a child that will grow up feeling more secure and happier in his home.

A child should be shown the wonders of this amazing world at a young age, even before the child can walk. The parent can walk around the section, daily if possible, and point out plants, objects and trees to the child, often stopping so that the child can feel the branches and leaves, bark and other natural materials. Each time this is done the child will be overjoyed at the time that you are spending with the child and with the new wonders he or she is finding on a daily basis with you. The child will come to expect these simple walks around the home and you will look forward to these outings happily.

Talk to your child as you would talk to another adult after the baby is a few months old. Still goochy-goo the child, but have good even talks with the child. Talk about anything. Your talking will make the child feel loved and your relationship with the child will be stronger for the effort. Later on the child will pick up the words that you speak and this will help the child talk. Pointing out objects and saying the objects name will also help your child to learn to identify things and categorize them mentally. These are good memory exercises as well.

Play with your children on their mental level often, but also play with them on your level if the child is up to it. We are not attempting to bring the child up to fast, but it is good for a child to have a go at these things once in a while. Parents need to play with their children often. I recommend playing with your child at least once a day.

Sing with your children daily. Sing to yourself. Singing is a wonderful way to reach people. Recorded songs reach people all around the world. Songs and music can get a person emotions going. This also applies to children. Laughing and singing can go hand in hand. Dancing with your children is also lots of fun. Encourage your children to sing. Encourage your children to learn how to play a musical instrument. You could learn how to play an instrument yourself. All these activities bring happiness to a home. You would be wise to add them to your home.

All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Friday, ‎6 ‎January ‎2006, ‏‎12:13:54 AM>