I am reading about an abused girl. She, when older, became mean, abusive, took what she wanted, greedy, lied, was a product of her upbringing.
Trying to teach her love was a struggle. Punishment did barely a thing. Punishment did not stop naughty behavior.
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But giving her the right attention did, genuine attention, genuine care, being genuinely interested in her welfare and well being, all these things she had not had before.
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So, like anyone would, she thrived when she discovered that she was worth something to someone. She needed confidence, but she did not need flatterers and cheap words accompanied by pats on the back and physical adoration.
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Finding out that she was good for something helped, and she thrived when given the opportunity to take part in activities that she had been denied with selfish parents and abuse in her younger years.
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When children are abused, or have big gaps in their life learning, they are denied growing up experiences that bring courage and confidence.
As an adult they are pushed into work, and they struggle. It is simply going from one stress to another. Then they are given strong peer pressure to follow the crowd “be part of the team”, “an important part of society”, “an important cog that keeps society running”, and all this talk just adds pressure because it looks like other people can cope easily and they can’t. So they can come to the conclusion that, “something is wrong with them.”
They can feel desperate for money to buy the material things that they are told will make them happy, they feel that they need social interaction to feel loved, wanted and needed (or desperate to avoid it).
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All this adds up to more pressure on their already struggling mind to cope after growing up with no confidence and a lack of courage. Depression can come from feeling unconfident, and feeling that one is a coward.
Not facing fears is feeling like a coward. Not facing ones problems is feeling helpless, hopeless, and incomplete.
We need to know that we can deal with life, and enjoy life without a fear turning up and throwing is back into feeling helpless and hopeless again – life feels pointless when this happens, and hopeless. It is when these things reoccur again and again that it brings up the bad feelings and takes us back to where we were before. We need to be able to deal with these things to cope with life.
We may not beat a fear, worry, anxiety, but we can learn how to cope with it courageously without it throwing our life out of order everytime we gave it.
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As an adult going through the experiences that they missed out on helps them discover what was lost in th for life.
Now as genuine confidence grows there is no need to be mean, arrogant and nasty to progress, all there is, is a genuine desire to learn, to enjoy, to welcome love, to become more spiritually complete.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Wednesday, 23 March 2016, 6:22:28 PM.