To have self-respect you need to feel you deserve a good life.
In order to feel deserving you need to live with integrity. Integrity means getting what you want in an honest, open way and not at someone else’s expense. If you moan, manipulate or steal to get what you want, for example: a promotion at work, a pass on your exam, financial security or a new car, you may get these things but deep down you’ll feel ashamed for not getting them in a clean, up-front way that makes them truly yours. Shame poisons your self-respect. Deep down you know you’re a good person, or at least could be. You can’t feel like this when you’re ashamed. Understanding that you are truly valuable for who you are right now – not because of what you have (or have not) achieved is essential to feeling self-respect. This is an experience in self-worth.
Self-worth is what you are. Your self-worth can’t be harmed. It can’t be run over, burned up, drowned or anything like that. No one can take it from you either. You have as much worth as the homeless person begging for pennies – no more no less, but you don’t know this about yourself. Some people recognise that they’re just as good as the next person but some of us need help to discover this.
Imagine you had a rhinestone ring and wore it all the time thinking the stone was worthless. Then one day you took your ring to the jeweller to get it fixed and he told you it was a fine diamond. The fake diamond you thought you were wearing turned out to be a priceless gem. And you had it all the time but didn’t recognise it. Well, you’re the same. You’re like a fine diamond. Discovering this about yourself is the most valuable discovery you can make. It will show you once and for all that you’re valuable and not a fake.
– P Strong.