State of Mind

Introduction

If we really want to live a life of goodness and happiness then we could take a lesson from small children who naturally act natural. Children who have been brought up in good healthy environments tend to live life with confidence, they trust themselves, and they have the courage to experiment and to test theor mind and body in the world in day to day livig. They do it with their heart and souls because they enjoy being happy. Children see life as fun and it is a joy to be with their family and friends enjoying who and what they are without the restraints of adulthood or the pressure of being a modern teenager. There are no colored people, just friends enjoying themselves. They can be serious, serious about having good solid fun.

Watch how children can work together to achieve something, how they help one another, discuss ideas etc.

So here is some good old fashioned advice. Take a tip from the children of the world and enjoy your life with honest innocence and love. When you meet people think of friendship first. Learn to get on with people and life will be just like a great big children’s playground. Lots of noise, lots of laughter, lots of fun, and surrounded by joy and happiness. A child’s state of mind is based on having fun day in and day out – So bring back the child in your life.

Innocent fun is not immoral indecent activities. In the modern world people have been seduced into thinking that immoral and indecent activities are the activities of the adult world, and if adults don’t partake in such things then the adults are weird or strange. The reality is that the adult world can be just as innocent and fun as the child’s world.

You may have noticed as you have gone through life that there are many different states of mind that humans have. They are normally easily recognisable, though some are only known after you have known a person for some time. People act in certain ways due to upbringing, at work, or in front of a crowd or with certain people, or as a defense. And it is often amazing to observe people and see how they act towards other people. It would do every employer good to observe their staff and learn how each member of their staff behaves in a normal day. This is rewarding and interesting activity. One of the things that I have made a lifetime habit of is sitting in a crowded room and patiently watching people, one by one. Observing the way that they behave with other people. One thing that is plainly obvious is that nobody is exactly the same as anyone else.

Life

Life can be an entertaining experience, full of joy, full of wonder but to many people it is often all hard tiresome work. It is what you make of life that counts. What do you make of life? Do you find your days tiring? Boring? A big non stop struggle? If you do then I have good news for you – Life Does Not Have To Be Like This. Life can be happier for you by changing your attitude to life, but also by finding what makes you tick and correcting any bad habits that you may have. You are what you think you are and also what you do. So think good thoughts and do good things.

Have you ever wondered how come some people are happy with their lives while millions are not? Many of us just seem to plod along, in wasteful plunder and unhappiness. Have you ever heard a child’s mother groan at the sight of her child or complain that life is just nothing but hard work? If you have then you have witnessed a person who has lost the plot, someone who has chased the childhood wonder from her life, caressing boredom until it finally enveloped her with self pity and unhappiness.

The above mentioned woman needs to get back to real life, because what she sadly thinks is reality is not the real thing. Her version of reality is a self imposed death sentence on her own happiness and the happiness of her children. In fact if she has any daughters, they too have a very high chance of copying their mother and will never know the true and very real joy of having and loving Gods special gift – children! Her husband, her children will all, with time, catch her disease.

Reality is reality. Life is a reality. What you see out of your window is a reality. But just as we have the power to uplift our lives with joy and happiness, we also have the power to suck the life completely out of ourselves. Physical things are a reality. Spiritual things are also a reality, the main reality that makes us happy as human beings. That is why you can read about somebody who is supposed “to have it all” and that person is totally miserable. This person hasn’t grasped the secret of real reality, the secret of life which is all around us, within us and everywhere.

But here is a surprise for many people. What you “think” may not be reality. We choose what we think, we create when we think, we destroy when we think. Our thinking power, although well above the thinking ability of the mere animals on this planet, can destroy us just as well as it can take us up to the heavens and through to outer space in serene happiness. You see we can create our own reality with our thought system. With many people the results are disastrous causing pain and anguish throughout their lifetime.

First we need to understand reality and what it is. We need to remember what it was to us in the past and compare it with what we “think” it is today. We need to look at other peoples lives to see what they think reality is, people who are happy, people who are enjoying life’s challenges and are not afraid to keep on living. Other people are good examples of life and reality, people who lead lives that never seem to let them down for long. I suggest that you consider visiting your local library and read about some real people who are facing life full on. We have all heard about them. Here are some suggestions:

Sports people.
Physically active people.
People with active careers.
Motivational people – teachers of motivation.
Country leaders.

A good example is Bob Geldof who started the Live Aid concerts. Who ever would have believed that anybody could have achieved that much in one weekend. Douglas Bader is another good example, he was a man who lost both legs and then went on to become a very active and famous RAF pilot during the second World War. It was bad thinking that lost Bader his legs. Brian Wilson who got caught up in drugs and Rock and Roll. Often called a genius Brian Wilson had a hard life but came through it and is admired by many people around the world. Helen Keller with the help of those who really cared for her found out that life was a wonderful thing. Annie Sullivan. These people created their own reality and the world became a part of it.

Because we are ‘what we think’, it explains many things about us as human beings. Our lives would have no conflict with others if we all had the same reality or thoughts. It is good to have different thoughts than others, but not so good if we create a different reality than what is real. How could we ever know that we were right in an argument if we were not living mentally in the real reality. Somehow, somewhere some of us became disillusioned and that started pulling us of the track of real reality off to some imaginative reality that suited our mind at that time. Of course as you well know once we get off track we have to make a sharp turn to get back on track, this is hard to achieve if we feel the pull that will take us further off track.

If a person is born into an African tribe that is way out in the bush and then he grow up there into an adult, that is his reality – but it is not the reality of the entire world. If this tribesman were to make a financial decision in New York what do you think the results will be? Would you hire this man to make business decisions for you? No, neither would I. But if I were to travel through his land I would hire him to show me around so that I wouldn’t get lost or be in danger. I would consider his help invaluable, the best that I could have.

I am going to attempt to pull you back on track with some special talk about life. Have you ever wondered about the things that you are currently missing out on? Do you feel happy, challenged or miserable when you think of these things? If you feel miserable then you need to understand that the good things are there for you to enjoy because they are real. Could it be that your own personal reality is holding you back? What do I mean you ask?

When we sink ourselves into a negative reality we see all the reasons why we will not have what it is we want. We have to get back on track to what is really real or create a new track to run on which will still take us back to the real reality and then you can say goodbye to that old miserable fake reality that has been dragging your life down for oh so long.

Challenges

Your life has been made up of many Challenges, how you react to these Challenges affects your future paths. If you have a problem then that problem is a Challenge, if you see your problems as Challenges you should find them easier to ‘take on’ and take up the Challenge. Problems are just the Challenges that you meet each day. If you say “I have a problem.” it sounds negative and just another of life’s ongoing hassles. If you say “Ah this is a challenge, how can I meet it head on and beat it?” it sounds more positive and you feel that you want to attack it and win.

If you cower away from challenges then your life will be dull and boring, we weren’t made for this non-existence. If you read history books and look at the challenges mankind has made to get to where we are today you can see how much we humans can handle. This should encourage you.

If you have a debt to pay then think of it as a challenge and do your best to beat it. Some people get very negative about all the debts they get or challenges that come their way, they state that they wish that life wasn’t such a hassle, but they are more than happy to accept life’s little pleasures as often as they can. In fact these people only try to live with pleasures but they find as life goes on these pleasures become dull and life becomes boring again, and then they try to find more or different pleasures to satisfy their cravings. Having the correct attitude will help you get through life as a much happier person. So please consider taking on life’s challenges and making yourself happier in the process. Each challenge completed in a positive manner leads a person to feeling more confident about themself.

If you take life’s pleasures in moderation then they become more pleasurable, life has more meaning. You also become more pleasurable because you become less self orientated, but more self controlled.

Poverty
The human mind has the capability to transform any negative thought into a positive thought.
But the human in question must be willing to make this transformation willingly and with effort.

Many people have stated in the past that poverty is a state of mind. We can live in poverty but we don’t have to “be” poverty. Poverty does not have to soak into our soul. Poverty can be a part of your soul if you let it, and many people do. But it doesn’t have to be this way. What many people do when they have a below average income is feel disappointed and let the misery of their current lifestyle drag them down. A persons surroundings are not the person, we seem to forget that simple fact as life gets harder. If you have a good attitude, then all forms of poverty are temporary. If poverty is getting you down then you will need to change your attitude to Poverty and its general affect on your life.

If a person does not have goals or desires for the future then life takes on a very sad existence. But I have news for you, life is only what you make it. The choice of how you feel is up to you and nobody else. If you are living in a situation that you feel is miserable or what you could call poverty then you need hope. You can replace the thoughts of miserable poverty into thoughts of hope to help guide you away from the current life you live in. God gives people hope, the greatest hope of all. If God, the most powerful being in existence has faith in you then you can have faith in yourself. This true deep faith in yourself leads onto having a full deep hope in yourself. Never give up with God at your side, you have nothing to fear.

The human mind has the capability to transform any negative thought into a positive thought. But the human in question must be willing to make this transformation willingly and with effort. If you look around yourself and see only poverty then you cannot see the hope over in the distance, somewhere out there is a different world. People are living differently, you can live like them as well. But where you are now could be a different world for you right now if you had a different attitude to your current situation. It is like the parent who thinks that his or her children are hopeless and a hassle. If that parent changes his or her view of the children then the children become little people that the parent can love with the love that a parent is supposed to have for a child.

As long as there is hope then there is a way out of the situation that you are currently in. You can have great hope in God to help take you away from the life that you are currently living in. History has billions of cases of people who had hope and faith in God. You to can have this hope and faith in God. God has not left us alone to struggle through this life, God is here with us. As long as you are a good person and believe in God then God will come and help you. Pray diligently and show God that you believe in Him and His good will for His children.

This reminds me of a story about a man who had a serious problem. He states that he spent days and nights praying to God for answers to this problem. He tells of how he was very disappointed that God did not help him and finally he went on his own way and found an answer to his problem without help from God. But I can tell you here that God did not ignore this mans prayers for help, this man found his answer because God guided him to the answer after the man asked for help with his problem. But God could not guide him until after he stopped praying day and night, he needed to rest and listen for the answer. Gods guidance leads us to the answers if the answer cannot be found immediately where we are when we first prayed. God listens to his children, but sometimes depending on where the person who prays is, and what help they need, it may take some time to lead you to the right answers. There may be a “build up” like going up steps, you may have to learn things one step at a time. You must be patient.

If you are in what you call poverty and you are struggling to eat or feed your family then you have the right to ask God for help. God does want to help those who are struggling to feed the body that God gave them. Your suffering brings no happiness to God, your ability to call for help and try to do all you can to get yourself out of your current situation will encourage God to help you. Take up this opportunity and pray for Gods Guidance and help. Remember God is the opposite to evil, therefore God will help those who are worthy of being helped. Do your best to change the way you feel about your current life and add action to this effort, pray with your heart and keep working faithfully to find an honest way out of your situation.

There is a positive side to poverty. Having a lack of money gives you a new chance to start from the bottom (I know, I started writing this book while I was at the bottom of society). Life is full of opportunities but they are hard to see when we are troubled financially. It is harder if we have dependents but that is no excuse for not trying. Most Governments offer opportunities for people who are in need. Another option is to offer to work for somebody (a company) for free for a few weeks or even a month or so. This is hard to do because you would be working without being paid but in the long run you really are a winner because you will have a job.

Another positive side to poverty is that when you walk everywhere as I do, you will get more fresh air and lots of sun. Sometimes a bit more rain than we should as well (Smile).

Humble
All people that you meet are just examples of what can happen to people growing up in different environments.

To be humble is a wise thing to strive for. Being humble puts you on the same level as all other humans on Earth, this is where we all should be no matter what positions we hold in life. By believing that we are all on the same level we will act as if it is so and treat our other humans as we would treat ourselves. You believe that no person is better than you and that you are not better than anyone else in the world.

Being humble does not mean that you are to be weak and easily picked on, being humble means being good and helpful while still maintaining your ability to protect yourself and those that you love. Humble people are strong in beliefs and strong in nature, they believe in themselves just as they believe in the rest of the world. They know that people act the way that they do because of their upbringing and for other reasons that affected their lives. Humble people don’t point the finger in accusation, instead they help people and educate them on how that they can change.

You will obviously meet people during your life that you may not want to admit are equal to yourself, this feeling is naturally the way we feel when we meet people who do not live the way that we do or think the same as we do. They may have habits that appall you, you may not agree with their religious or political beliefs, there are many reasons why you may not like people. But you can reasonably admit that we were all born as humans and we all have to face life with many of the same trials and tribulations. All people that you meet are just examples of what can happen to people growing up in different environments.

Treating all people in a humble manner gives a good impression of yourself to others. People will be pleased to know somebody who speaks to them on an equal level no matter who they are. Humble people are slow to lose their temper with others. Humble people are kind to other people and make friends easily. Seriously consider making it a goal to be like this and as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow, being humble will change your life for the better of all that know you.

Grief
When a person is in the traditional sense of deep grief they have trouble understanding common sense because their wall of grief numbs the thinking processes.

You may have noticed that when people are deeply suffering mentally that you cannot help them. This is because of the pure destructive power of grief and unhappiness that it causes. When a person is suffering from grief other people cannot reach them even if they are standing in front of that person. The pain, anguish, confusion, self pity, anger along with grief is surrounding that person with a fence that is very hard to penetrate through.

Because it often takes weeks, months or years for grief and unhappiness to build up it is also hard to take it down again. Ideally what we want to do is remove this destructive wall as soon as we can so that we can get to the person and explain things to them. When a person is in the traditional sense of deep grief they have trouble understanding common sense because their wall of grief numbs the thinking processes. It is like having a 2 foot wall of concrete between the other person and you. You yell to be heard and the person on the other side of the concrete wall struggles to understand. All the other person really hears is muffled sound which he or she cannot understand.

One of the secrets in life is to never get to the stage of deep grief or unhappiness and this is where this book can save you in the future. By concentrating on the positive side of life you can be happy and keep grief away. This is why you will get people talking to you about being grateful for what you have and not wanting what others have. You are concentrating on the current joys in your life and not on what others have either mentally or physically. Your attitude toward your life is very important and once a person understands what it is that they need to live they can easily wait for the other things that they want in life. Patience and understanding are keys to being good natured.

Avoid grief and you will avoid much of the personal pain that can destroy your life. Sorrow and unhappiness blocks out all the help that you can get from other people. You must find ways to be happy before misery can envelope your life.

False Confidence
This is an attempt by a person or a group who wants to help another person and they feel that constantly beefing the person up mentally (figuratively speaking: “patting them on the head”) with positive comments can actually give the person a false bravado or false overconfidence in themself.

There are a few ways where a person can be led into having confidence or into having a False Confidence about themself through the interaction of others or having success.

One example is when a person is constantly patted on the head by others. This is an attempt by a person or a group who wants to help another person and they feel that constantly beefing the person up mentally (figuratively speaking: “patting them on the head”) with positive comments can actually give the person a false bravado or false overconfidence in themself. Once the person changes schools or leave their current job they will find that life is not so good without the constant pickups from their old school mate or work mate (boss or whoever). Remember that when you encourage a person always do it because that person deserves it and not just to make him or her feel happy, because when you are gone other people will more than likely not give that person the same pats on the head.

A public group that eggs on its people is an example that we see often. The world news sometimes shows examples of people or groups who push each to the extent that the members of the group will do something extreme because of all the positive pushing of others. Its hard for us to think for ourselves (no matter what our religious, ideals, views or political beliefs are) when many other people are beefing up our confidence or false bravado.

A historical example I read about years ago was the New Zealand Maori tribes and how they behaved before doing battle with each other on some occasions. The two opposing tribes would exchange verbal insults while out of each others reach, next they would make abusive and rude signs to each other such as exposing their buttocks which was considered very offensive. All the while they would pull terrifying faces to each other. As this went on each tribe got more and more excited until they both raged with fury and then they attacked. Finally they had reached a level of excitement and had built their confidence up so that they had the courage to actually fight. Have you ever seen similar behaviour in modern people? I have.

Another example is when a person becomes instantly famous or does something that gets a lot of attention. This can throw a person headfirst into lots of praise and this is very confusing to him or her, especially since it comes on fast and heavy. Movies stars are a good example of people who are thrown into huge amounts of fame simply because of one or two successes.

Your Image
You can mentally create an image of what you want yourself to be and work towards that new image,
you can change the way that you behave and even the way that you think.

You may wonder how can a person find a start when trying to change the way that they are. Personal Imaging can be an option for you to begin with. You see when you were young your parents or school were supposed to (and may have) shown you what type of person that you could (or should) be. They may not have done this or your lifestyle when you were young would not allow it. You can mentally create an image of what you want yourself to be and work towards that new image, you can change the way that you behave and even the way that you think. Your thinking should match the new image that you have decided on to complete the new picture that you have of yourself. Take care not to copy any real or living person, (although other people could be good guidelines to follow, but never idolize other people no matter who they are) it would be better if you could look at the attributes that you want for yourself. The total picture of yourself would be how you would want other people to see you and also how you want to be in reality.

If you are in prison reading this and you have had a hard life which you have hardened to cope with the life that has been thrown at you, you may be surprised to find that this new imaging of yourself can actually work. Of course to combat a lifetime of hardness you will have to work at it to change your ways, your thinking and your friends, but it can be done. In fact the only thing stopping you is yourself, not your friends and not your past. If you are a gang member or somebody who has suffered greatly from a hard life remember that your life so far is a result of your mind and soul adapting to the hard knocks that you have received. You can truly change and have a happier longer life.

Imaging and redirection can lead to a better lifestyle. Faith in yourself and faith in God have changed many peoples lives. If it worked for other people, it can work for you. All you need to do is believe that you can do it and “do it”. Get a pen and paper and write down what kind of life that you want to have. Write down what changes you think that you will need to make to your life, list those changes and then try to work out which changes you think that you can make immediately. Have a list of the immediate changes that you want to make and then make a list of the changes that you think that you can make in the future. Keep these lists in a place that you can find them easily or pin them on a wall so you can see them often. Work up enthusiasm to keep trying, the end result will amaze you.

Most hardened criminals are people of action, so you should be used to getting things done when you want them done. Redirect that ability that you have to changing yourself. Push yourself with a deep desire to succeed with this task, don’t take nothing for granted and don’t ever give up. I can tell you now that you will never be perfect but do all that you can to be as perfect as you can, its not impossible, it is very achievable. I know because I changed my life and I did not have a decent upbringing. History books show many people who changed their lives from bad to good. Go for it and don’t hold back, the future, your future is in your hands. Work at being a better person with all the desire that you used in the past to do dishonest things. You have the inner strength and desire, you just need to direct it toward a better future.

You come from a race of people that has a history of fighting for what it wants or believes in. There may be no war on right now but you can still use that history to change the way that you are today. So get at war with yourself and push yourself to fight off those bad thoughts and behaviour and after the war is over you are free to enjoy a better life.

Courage
Courage and common sense go hand in hand, they should not be separated in your mind.

Courage grows as you get physically and mentally stronger, you don’t look at the fears that bothered you before as you take on new challenges, you will only see the advances that you can make. Courage is a wonderful thing and it is made of mental strength and common sense. To have courage is to be sure of yourself and willing to take on new challenges that previously intimidated you or gave you a fear that dug into your soul. All people have the ability to have courage, nobody is exempt from this emotional force of sure strength. If a child has good role modal’s then that child has a very good chance of growing up with courage.

Courage is the ability to stand up for what you believe in, to speak out and to be strong against adversity. This is where common sense is helpful, its not much good having courage if you do not have the common sense to know when you are right or wrong. So courage and common sense go hand in hand, they should not be separated in your mind.

It takes courage to say you are sorry, it takes courage to admit your are wrong, it takes courage to state your beliefs in a room full of people who are against what you say. Many people look at people and wish that they had the other persons courage. If this is you, then don’t worry as you improve with the ideas of this book your courage will grow and you will be more sure of yourself as you go on.

Many people believe that they have no courage. I can tell you right now that its not true at least in the sense that nobody who doesn’t act courageous cannot learn to have courage. If a person is badly put down physically or mentally during their childhood or abused then he or she can grow up having many fears. Traumatic events during childhood can make a child fear the world and go slowly through life unwilling to face many challenges. This is not the child’s fault, but the child when it grows up can take it out on itself because the child is ashamed of being so weak and cannot understand why it is not strong minded like other people it knows.

These fears put a huge damper on those peoples courage and they grow up carrying these fears with them. Everyone who feels that they have no courage to stand up for themself can learn to gain their courage back, it will take time but it is definitely worth the trying.

People that have been scared fearfully as a child, abused mentally, verbally and physically could have this problem. My intentions for this book are that it can help give these people a chance to start again. Today most people think of the ability to face a fear as having courage, like in a physical fighting situation or the like. Courage has many meanings in today’s world.

Many people who lack courage appear to take joy in talking about people behind their backs, always complaining about others. It appears to be a verbal shield that they surround themself with, it gives them the chance to ‘get something’ on other people, more courageous people.

Here are some examples where a person needs courage in today’s world:

To fight for a belief system.
To admit that you have done wrong.
To stand up to others.
To stand up in front of a crowd to speak.
To bring up children on your own.
To face the world on your own.
Give up smoking, drugs or other addictive material.

For many years the word courage seems to have lost its appeal and the real meaning of the word. In the past we have many examples of courage, people risked and gave their lives during the many wars that the world has had on its weather beaten surface. Now the young people of today have a different idea of courage and sadly some don’t even care if they think that they have no courage.

In the past knights, soldiers, warriors and other people who faced death often were seen as courageous. But courage is needed today even in the domestic world of reasonable safety that we live in. People need to have courage to operate to their best ability.

Courage is a feeling, a feeling that we all need, a feeling that makes us feel better when things go wrong. We need courage to take the hard path, we need to know and feel that we can do it when we try. Sometimes we have a fear of doing something and we wish that we had the courage to try to overcome this fear. People who show (or have) no courage tend to be unhappy, grouchy and complain about their lives and the obstacles that they have to face. People who have undeniable courage act in a confident manner.

What we don’t understand is that we need courage during our everyday life. and we need ongoing courage. When things go wrong we need to feel that we can “make the grade” and hopefully succeed. If we don’t succeed then it is not the end of the world, because we have that unstoppable courage that will see us through. Our examples of courage are not very good these days. We see actors on television who take on odds that are faked. At least in the old days of motion pictures the actors took great personal risks doing stunts and going on location, but today modern actors have stunt people to do the risk taking and to top it off we now have special effects to complete the courageous lie.

You and I need to build up our courage by slowly taking on odds that we were previously shy of doing. Life works like this, we succeed and we grow confident. We fail, and we learn from the failure (the mistake) and we try again a different way. Besides what some people may think, I don’t believe that we can build up our courage by goal setting or any other mind exercise. Courage is a state of being that must be earned like self respect, it takes time, but the results are worth it. And the best time to start is right now.

A word of warning though. Some people confuse courage with arrogance. This can be seen clearly in many modern movies. In the past it was mostly clear in movies who was the arrogant one, he or she was the bad one. But today many movies show the main character as a person with a heart of stone, tough and strong physically, and very brave and arrogant in behaviour. Many woman are shown today as tough, mean and able to deal with any male and female that she comes across. Not only is she extremely capable against all odds, she struts her stuff through the movie in a mythical manner that woman are not really capable of. Try not to let the fantasy of the movie industry guide you in who you want to be in real life. If you do, the result will be a huge let down.

Most people have a list of things that they are afraid to do or just don’t want to do. Now is the time to write them down and push yourself to doing them. If you have a fear about the results then you may find that the fear was well founded, but I believe that you will find that most fears are not worth listening to. There are so many occasions in human history that show us that if a person went with their fears they would never have succeeded. We can learn from this and forge ahead.

This isn’t really a case of “face your fears” its more of a case of building up the belief that we can, with time and effort, show ourselves that we can be strong internally and have the courage to struggle on (endlessly if need be) to do what it is that is the good thing to do for ourselves and for others around us. By building up your courage you will spiritually strengthen your heart and soul, your inner strength will grow with each attempt, even if you fail because you will at least be pleased that you had a go. But I believe that if you have a go and then fail, all you need to do is have a go again. Keep pushing at your own pace until you succeed. Never give up when dealing with your self confidence and spiritual growth.

This world is full of people who never “have a go” at anything, I personally have met many, many people like this. One of the saddest things I have witnessed is to see them plodding along through life, never making changes to the same old dull routine, never thinking of anything new, watching the same old television programs, living the same old dreary life. Life to them is more like a torture that they can’t wait to end.

You will know of things that you could have done in the past that would have put you on a different path if only you had done something about it. If you still can, do it now! I implore to your heart and soul, make a difference to your life now by taking that delicate step forward and building on it. each step will be a personal success for you.

Fear
The entire set of fears create new fears simply because the person has a low opinion of himself
and a great lack of confidence.

Fear is a parasite, it has the ability to grow and expand within the human mind. It feeds on a persons unhappiness and grows as the person grows.

Example:

A small boy is often humiliated in front of his school class mates – later this causes him to have a fear of talking in front of an audience. His fear is that he will be judged by the audience and not by what he says to the audience.

The small boy is verbally abused, laughed at, and ridiculed by his mother – this causes him to have a fear of woman or overbearing woman.

This boy was physically and mentally abused and ridiculed by his older sister – this causes him to have a fear of woman or overbearing woman.

This boy has a terrifying experience in the dark as a child – causing him to have a fear of nighttime, darkness and shadows – even of the unknown.

All these fears occurred during the boys first ten years of life. All events caused various types of fear. Each fear was destructive in its own perilous way. Eventually as the boy grows older his fears increase, especially if any of them are repeated which sets the fears in his mind as a stone is set in concrete.

The entire set of fears create new fears simply because the boy has a low opinion of himself and a great lack of confidence. He is afraid to try new things and spends lots of time at home trying to create his own protected world. As he gets older he gets braver because it is expected of him to be more like a male. This does not increase his belief in himself and over time he makes many mistakes which only add fuel to the fire of fear that grows within his soul. He may become a heavy alcohol drinker or drug abuser to try to hide his fears or try to bury his fears away deep in his mind, or use alcohol and drug abuse to try and become more courageous especially in front of other people.

The new fears feed off the old fears, this in turn adds new fears. The original fears are put aside in the boys mind as he grows older with his lack of confidence, but they are still there in the back of his mind. His mind is currently dealing with his new failures and new fears to worry about the old original fears that started his original fears of life. This in turn helps to firmly put his old fears away somewhere at the back of his mind and they are blanked out, probably never to resurface again during the boys lifetime.

This explains why many people may have many fears, even small fears, but can not understand why they are weak minded and feel uncourageous. These fears can cause a person to be angry, frustrated and hurt, often thinking that life has dealt this person a bad blow or treated this person unfairly, but often not really knowing why he or she feels this way. Often this person struggles with life and what to make of living.

Talking to someone about their fears can help a person. As long as the person has a sympathetic ear and does not ridicule the person who has the fears. You can help people who have fears by being nice to them and genuinely caring.

Sometimes people who have fears resort to anger, panic and hysteria which creates disorder around that person. These feelings and displays of feelings are results of frustration because the person with the fears is confused and cannot understand why they act the way that they do. People who have deep seated fears can hurt people who they love either physically or mentally, this helps nobody and may scare away those that can actually help them. They feel caught up in a world that doesn’t understand, and yet they themselves don’t understand what their problem is.

People who have many fears can also create their own imagined fears from things that haven’t happened yet. Their fears can create worry and dread.

People who have fears that they have trouble confronting can call themselves painful names because they believe that they have a lack of courage and they think that they are stupid and weak. The sooner fears are dealt with the better. A strong personal growth can help greatly, to believe in oneself is to grow in courage and time and effort can help with the mending.

Claim To Fame
Make your claim to fame something worthy and people will respect you for your genuine efforts.
Be proud of your achievements.

Many people have a hobby or something that they are proud of and it could be considered their Claim To Fame. Some people collect Teddy bears or make modal planes, cars, motor cycles, buildings or boats, some grow flowers and when they get visitors one of the first things they do is put the visitors through an hour or so of looking through their collection of whatever. For the visitor this can be quite daunting and boring unless they have the same deep interest in the same subject matter that they are being shown.

People sometimes struggle to find ways to give them some importance in life and this is one way that it can be achieved. Some people will spend large amounts of money buying items made by someone else to add to their collection which they will show to anyone willing (and sometimes unwilling) to view it. Of course a collection of anything made by somebody else is just a collection of somebody else’s work and shows that your total effort was being able to (or wise enough to) purchase all the items in the collection. In other words your effort is not really your effort, it is somebody else’s efforts and when people view your collection they will know this, but be to polite to point it out to you.

It would be far better for your confidence and ability to make the items yourself or to do something special yourself. This would be a real challenge, store-brought items are all very well, but home made has always been more admirable. The work and time that you put into the project would bring more praise than what a store can offer because their items are mass produced, but yours is a genuine item stamped (imaginatively) with your name. Make your claim to fame the real thing. Give yourself a hobby that truly requires you to put in the work to make it come about.

Make your claim to fame something worthy and people will respect you for your genuine efforts. Be proud of your achievements.

Vanity
To be who you really are, is to take yourself away from the worldly things that attract others.

Once vanity is accepted then it becomes unnoticed to the one who has become vain, to them it is not a problem because they have accepted the personal affection that vanity can bestow on their private person. Of course from vanity comes personal greed, first slowly, then steadily until it to is accepted along with the vanity itself. You see one ill grows into another ill and like a small snowball at the top of a mountain rolling down, these ill feelings will gather and grow until the person is saturated in their own personal selfishness. If the persons family learns to accept that vanity it becomes a part of the home, and can only lead the younger members of the family to copy the act. If a person had a role modal who had vain practises then (most likely) the person will copy and accept what they believe to be the true way to behave and believe in themself.

Vanity makes people do many things that they would not normally do. We all want to look good and feel good but these people take their looks and self centered feeling to new extremes.

There is a huge push by advertisers to get people to purchase products that are based on peoples wants to be vain. It is a billion dollar market, and with rewards like that you can imagine the competition to get your valued dollars from the different companies. They are not interested in your self image or your family, only what they can gain from you – the person with the money to spend.

You will never be who you really are while you spend reasonable amounts of money on your looks, cars, clothes and lifestyle. I am not saying that it is bad to have nice clothes and a nice car, what I am saying is that many people go overboard until they think what they are doing is natural. To be who you really are, is to take yourself away from the worldly things that attract others, your goal in life is not what others expect of you. You are what’s important, not products that make you look or feel different. I was amazed recently when I read an article about Hollywood male stars paying large amounts of money to have a makeover (lipstick, blush, foundation etc.) done every morning so that when they mingled or were seen by the public they would look “as good” as they do on the big screen. In other words they are not being themselves, they are trying to be an “image” that the public thinks they are – this is not natural. They are trying to live the “Hollywood Dream” and not real life, I suppose they believe that their livelihood depends on it.

Part of the reason this book was written was to help people find themselves and deal with life, especially when the going gets tough.

Writing Your Thoughts
The secret is to ‘let your writing take control of itself’, just let it go, don’t hold back and just write for hours if you want.

A good way for you to ‘get to know yourself’ is to write your thoughts down in a book or on a pad. This has helped many people learn more about themself and what is bothering them.

During the average day we think a lot and many, many different thoughts and ideas pass through our minds. We cannot remember them all as the day goes by. Every hour a new thought or challenge comes to the attention of our hard worked mind so what bothered you in the last hour may not be bothering you now.

Pick a time during the day or even just when you feel like writing things down because you have something on your mind and do it. Write about anything, write about what is bothering, or about your family, anything that you like. These are personal notes, I suggest that only people you ‘really’ trust should read them, you may be the only person to read them – it is up to you.

The secret is to ‘let your writing take control of itself’, just let it go, don’t hold back and just write for hours if you want. Some people enjoy writing poetry which is about their thoughts. Reading what you have written can be a real revelation and people are surprised with the results. Its a chance to really look at your thoughts from ‘the outside’. This is good therapy if you are alone and far away from anyone.

What Are Your Pleasures?
Eventually too much of a good thing and it always becomes stale and this sets us off looking elsewhere for more of the physical pleasures, we search in a never ending circle, never finding satisfaction.

This is something we need to really think about. Many books have been written about this subject. I would hazard a guess that the norms of society have already pre-organised our pleasures for us, even before we were born. Amazing as it may seem many people don’t have many pleasures so they desperately hang on to the few that they have and try to get pleasure out of the darker side of life, disguising it in a wrapping of glitter.

The first time I though of this subject I thought of many of the worldly things that I liked. Pleasures are strange things and they come in many shapes, sizes, coverings and disguises. You do know that the human body is a physical thing. And all pleasures that the physical human body receives are of the world, they are physical pleasures. These physical pleasures are never long lasting, they can be intense but always short lived. Much the same as buying a super fast car or gambling and sexual activity. The thrill is there but soon it is gone and the fast car may look good and can speed but it will always be beaten by another car that looks faster or goes better. The thrill of gambling becomes a curse after the pleasure is gone. Eventually too much of a good thing and it always becomes stale and this sets us off looking elsewhere for more of the physical pleasures, we search in a never ending circle, never finding satisfaction.

I thought more then about the ‘other’ pleasures, the ones that I really enjoy, the ones that last all day, last all week, last all month or last a lifetime. They do exist, but for many people they are just a myth, something people talk about but not reality. I thought about the people who are miserable in hospitals. Those that have tried to kill themselves and those that sadly succeeded. Many of those people ‘had it all’, yet they were miserable. Some had nothing yet they were miserable. The simple pleasures that they sought were in the mind and soul, not from the physical things of this world. But without God all they could find was the physical pleasures of life. You can take physical things to a person who is suffering in the heart and soul and they turn those physical pleasures away. What they need is love, care and affection. Many need a ‘chance’.

Hard Times
I think that one of the reasons that the world has tried to ignore the rest of the worlds hard times is because we
cannot ‘feel’ the hard times of other people, especially if they live far from us, possibly in another country.

We all have our own definition of what hard times are. You have yours and I have mine. But can you really understand mine? And can I really understand yours? Unless you are me and I am you then it is clear that in many ways we cannot understand each others hard times. But I believe that with a good heart we can learn to understand each other and the trials, pains and anguishes that we have gone through.

I had a friend once who told me that he had suffered and how times were so hard for him and his son after his wife left them. And in many ways he was right, the child’s mother had been very cruel, in fact she could easily be called downright mean. But, my friend hadn’t suffered in ways that I had suffered. He had his mother and fathers money to fall back on if the need arose. He struggled being a single father for his son. But there were other areas where my hard times were clearly more severe or harder than my friends. He could not see my hard times due to his only knowing his hard times.

But it seems to me that he suffered in ways that I hadn’t suffered. His ex-wife was very cruel when she left and she seemed to gloat in the power that she had on the occasion, my friend took to drink and went through more hurt (or at least it seemed that way) than I did with my own marriage split up. I guess that the truth is that we both suffered as well as our children. These were hard times for all of us, probably even our ex-wives.

I think that one of the reasons that the world has tried to ignore the rest of the worlds hard times is because we cannot ‘feel’ the hard times of other people, especially if they live far from us, possibly in another country. I have an interesting way to show my feelings when I read about children being mistreated or in some hard times. I cry, tears stream down my face as if I can truly feel the children’s suffering. It doesn’t matter if its something that I have read or something that I saw on the television, it just happens. Child cruelty is one of the ultimate sins of the world in my eyes, to hurt or maim the young and innocent of our race, the human race is a bad thing indeed.

When people are in grief, poverty and without ambition they are trapped in their own little protected place, their own special institution created by them for them, their home environment. This place holds them away from the pains of the world, even the television is part of the hideaway, the new created world that they live in. But it is not real life, it is only a hideaway, a place where they will never grow or learn. A place of protection to keep them away from fear. And keep them away from the joys of life, the fun and the happiness.

Structured goals and patterns are well and good but they can tear away the fantasy of the imagination because all the facts (or facts to be) are laid out in front of you, stating this and that. Where there is no imagination there are no real discoveries, no joyful growth. Sometimes we just got to be us and enjoy us for who and what we are. Not just state that we will achieve this, we will achieve that etc. We need to enjoy our family the same way. When your life is fully structured then their are no surprises, no happy intrusions in our lives. Planning is good, goals can be good, but life is about more than that, life is about being happy with your heart. Not just happy with your bank account. Not just happy about your successes, there is so much to be found in the world, especially since this world is so full of people who are all so different and all so much in need of you in their lives.

Put yourself in the other persons shoes and see and feel this persons hard times. The help that person because you truly care and you know that a little help on a hard day is a wonderful thing.

Solving Problems/Getting Answers

I tell God of all my problems, especially noting the problems of the day that is about to finish.

There are many ways to solve problems. But the biggest secret is to get your mind in order before you attempt to solve issues that are bothering you.

One method I use is to pray before I go to sleep. I tell God of all my problems, especially noting the problems of the day that is about to finish. I find that when I pray to God in this way I often wake up in the morning with answers to my problems or questions in my head. I see it this way, God cannot help me unless I stress what I feel are my most important problems and how much I want to have them solved. Sometimes I may even write a list of problems before I pray before going to bed or I just talk about the problems that are currently bothering me or my family. I sometimes need to “talk it out” and get these problems “off my chest”.

Another method is to relax for a while. You can relax on a bed for a half an hour, just letting your body go loose and un-tense all your muscles as you relax. Often when doing this you may find that answers to your problems will come to you. Recommended by many is relaxing in a lounger chair, in the sun, on the grass or on a bed and concentrate on nothing, just let your problems float away from your mind as they are the reasons that you may feel tense and uptight. So it is common sense not to think about them while you attempt to relax.

Some people prefer to relax their body and concentrate on God and His Holiness. So instead of thinking of nothing think of God and how much He loves you. Let the good feeling of Gods love soak through your body while you think of God, Heaven, Jesus Christ, Angels and evenly, Holy things.

‘John 1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.’

People have stated over time that just sitting in a quiet church can be enough to help them relax and that answers to questions come to them while they just sit their in the pew. Always remember that people are spiritual and physical beings, therefore we must use both the resources set before us by God. Relaxing is being physically and mentally relaxed. One without the other is you not being totally relaxed. God knows more than anyone what you need to do to be happy. Pray to God and ask and you shall (as long as your aims are good) receive.

This spiritual therapy can solve all your problems, all you need to do is give yourself totally to God and ask and expect God to guide you and show you the way to a better, happier life. It is amazing how this works. Sometimes answers will just jump out from nowhere while you are doing chores around the house, or relaxing in the sun. Relaxing and believing that there is a higher power, will give you the faith to believe that He loves you and will do all that is needed to give you what you need to be happy.

Sometimes I enjoy laying on my bed listening to music. Often I get inspiration while listening to the music of Christian hymns. I have a collection of .midi files on my computer that I downloaded from the internet. I turn the light off and just listen to this music play in the background. And sometimes while doing this I get ideas or answers to questions that have been bothering me over the last few days. Sometimes I just drift off to sleep while listening. Sometimes I sing the words to the songs. But mostly I just listen to the music while I am relaxed mentally and physically.

Relaxing in a hot steaming bath has been recommended for many years. You can even add bubble bath solutions or special salts or bath crystals to help you to relax. Sometimes I take a good book and read it in the bath while relaxing my body and after a while I close my eyes and just let my mind and body completely relax, with my body and the water feeling like they are one with each other. It is a wonderful relaxing feeling being like this and I recommend it.

The above paragraphs prove that you don’t always have to work hard to find the answers to your questions. Relaxing is a proven way to calm the mind and soul and let Gods love enter your soul while clearing your mind of your current troubles. Try always to remember never to relax and think of your days problems at the same time. Always do as I do and enjoy yourself while relaxing, often you will find that your relaxing periods will be the best parts of your day and you will look forward to your moments alone with your mind and God. Right now look for ways that you can relax with God and write them down being sure to put them into action immediately.

Relaxing has helped many successful people find the answers to their questions, you too can do this and reap the results that others have been getting for centuries. By relaxing you are opening your mind up to your inner mind and the spiritual guidance from Heaven.

Worry
The more you worry, the more worry you will receive.

Worry is a very destructive power that slowly eats at a persons brain and soul until it kills them if they don’t get rid of worry from their lives. You know what I mean don’t you? We have all had the unhappy feeling of worrying about something. At one time in my life worry haunted me, I was not happy when I worried about many things. Like most emotions a small amount of worry won’t kill you, but if you leave it unchecked then worry will eat at you until there is nothing left. Worry sits deep inside you like a disease and slowly works on you, it eats at your soul and destroys your life and future if it finally achieves its goal.

The good news is that you can conquer worry, and it is not that hard to remove virtually all signs of worry from your life. You may of heard of the saying “The more you put into it, the more you will receive” or something similar to that. This is exactly true of worry. The more you worry, the more worry you will receive. Time spent on worry is wasted time, for it will bring no good reward only misery. Don’t waste your productive time on wasteful worry and your life will be the better for it.

List Your Worries. You can do it and I will tell you how! Worry is a negative force which you must learn to control, and control it you will. Have a good look around you, what is worrying you right now. Here is a suggestion that you will find useful. Get a pencil and paper and write down all the things that worry you at this moment in time.

After you have done this, look at each thing that you believe worries you. Take some time to look at each one, don’t rush through them. If you look carefully enough you should be able to see that each worry is not as bad as it may first appear, or at least that you give it credit for. Think about each qworry in a clear manner and see if you can find ways to remove that worry from your life.

What’s The Worst That Can Happen? In many cases the worst is not as bad as it may seem. A worry is not a fact (At least not yet), it hasn’t happened so therefore you have nothing to worry about.