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Narcissism, Abusers & Covert Manipulators.
The Clair Case Study.

You have to stop Helping People who Don't want Your help.

It is with a heavy and tired heart that you have to stop helping people who repetitively refuse to take your advice or get your help. Letting them go means only one person spends years of being tormented, them, not you, so, let that person go.

This article I wrote was not about Clair, of the Clair Case Study, but both cases are similar.

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Some years ago I knew a young woman and I used to help her when she got into trouble. I would protect her and do what I could to help her and guide her.
 
But she kept doing foolish things, over and over again.
 
One of her weaknesses was married men. She would have affairs with married men and then expect not to get caught, not to get into trouble, but even if she did get into trouble she would be protected by others.
 
Time and time again I helped her, and time and time again I gave her good advice to veer away from what she kept doing. But time and time again she wouldn’t listen.
 
Finally, very fed up,  I told her that it was foolish for me to physically protect someone who was deliberately walking straight back into trouble.
 
I said that I was innocent of the whole affair and that one day I was probably going to get a hiding or worse because I was stopping her getting hurt. So I told her that I wouldn’t protect her anymore.
 
I said that if she wanted help (I was teenager back then when this happened) I could give her advice if she wanted it but I was no longer going to put my body on the line to protect someone who was setting herself up for disaster.
 
I fully believe in protecting women who are being threatened by men and have been in those situations before. I fully believe in helping children. Protecting whats right and the innocents is something that we males should always do in my opinion.
 
This young female ended up getting a hiding from an irritated wife, and yes I was available to stop it getting worse. Later on she got into even more trouble from a furious wife. This young female had a rough upbringing and had a mixed up view of what was right and wrong and values etc. Her emotions were not balanced and her logic not good at this stage.
 
 

Sometimes we can do our very best, even at the risk of our own self getting hurt, but if it continues with no sign of change then sometimes we have to step back and let the person learn the other way, the road of experience and then hope that from what happens they will figure it out.

This is why I am amazed at God. God never gives up, but he does not help us do what is wrong. Too many people are doing foolish activities and expecting God to protect them and bail them out when they do wrong.
 
I have seen some people get hurt very badly from their foolish actions, only to wait a while and then go out and do it all again with very much the same results.
 
Sometimes a mishap is a better way of getting a lesson across if the student simply will not focus, and will listen to people that God has asked them constantly to listen to.
 
We must focus on what God is trying to show us and where God is leading us and do that because the best results will be in that direction. But please believe me, it is much easier to listen and learn instead of learning the hard and sometimes violent way of experience.
 
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
25 October 2013.

Narcissism, Abusers & Covert Manipulators.
The Clair Case Study.

Home – Computing – Fitness – How to… Motivation – Product Reviews – Stories –  Tips – Disclaimer.