The crowd is not necessary right.
Example:
Years ago on a job with 3 other people I was voted off the machine, meaning that they had a vote and didn’t want me working with them anymore. I was devastated. I didn’t like the crew much, but a lot was stored in people’s minds about getting on with our work crew, being a part of the team, being needed, wanted, etc. So I was really depressed and shocked at their move.
For about 2 weeks I went to work in a daze. The company kept me on and put me on a machine that didn’t much do any work, and I was for a while the only crew member. I noted one day as I was reading a book because I had nothing to do at work that I was right in front of the work crew that voted me away and while they worked feverishly I was relaxing.
One day, about 2 weeks later I was taking some things up to Number 5 machine and my good friend Tu, and islander man, came over and said to me, “Don’t worry about it James.” He could see that I was hurting bad from the experience and the rejection I was feeling. Tu said, “James, its not such a big deal, I mean, look at them!”
At first I didn’t know what Tu meant, and then I started to think about those who had judged me so harshly.
When I first started the job the work crew that judged me had to go to an office once a week to get counseling because they were so dysfunctional and fought so much, they were not getting on with each other. The boss was a Narcissist anyway. When I swept the floor he would come over and laugh at me and then throw paper where I had already swept and demand that I sweep it up. And when he had tantrums he would throw a big wooden mallet around dangerously and miraculously he never hurt anyone. The rest of the crew were just strange I thought, especially the women who would try to pull my shorts down and would walk under the walkway’s trying to see up my shorts, she was popular amongst the men and everyone thought her behaviour was a great joke, I didn’t.
I think that what happened is that the work crew needed a reason to band together and so they all formed a self righteous view of themselves and a dislike for me. After some months of pressure building they got rid of me.
Tu was right about them, but my self pity, shock, rejected feelings etc had me self blaming and feelings very unconfident and unhappy. I was blaming myself heavily and feeling that I was very unwanted, a failure and unworthy. I was so pleased that Tu helped put me back on track.
What I learned is that a group of people may assume that they know what is right and wrong about another person, make judgments and then demand change, yet they can be completely wrong and the real issue is within themselves and their character faults.
All the best from James Martin Sandbrook.
Monday, 12 November 2018, 5:53:01 PM.