From childhood we are encouraged to fit in, to be like others.
To play nicely with others.
To behave as others do.
To conform as others do.
School demands, tells us, encourages us to be Team Members, to be a part of the team, to be worthy of the team, to not let others down.
The result is a feeling of demand by others that we partake in what others want us to be a part of and to enjoy it even if we don’t really want to be a part of it.
If we feel like we don’t want to do something we feel guilty that we are letting our friends down, ashamed that we don’t want to take part, etc.
If we keep these feelings then as adults we continue like this. This is how people can drag us into situations where we are not wanting to be a part of.
Maturity is the understanding of where they are coming from mentally and knowing how we feel, what our personal boundaries are and our responsibilities, and saying a strong, firn, unbreakable, “No!”, and that’s the end of it.
There is much talk in society about us all being individuals but when we try to be such we are frowned upon and encouraged to be the same as everyone else, on the same team, part of the group, a social person, and living to please others.
Sometimes a person may be part of of a group he or she doesn’t want to be a part of, but pressure from others has us forcing ourselves to be doing what we don’t want to do until we find some form of enjoyment in the group until one day we find that we are seemingly enjoying doing what others are doing, but the reality is that we are forcing ourselves to be unnatural to our true character, fake, not meeting our own needs because we are trying to keep others happy.
All the best from James Martin Sandbrook.
Thursday, 25 July 2019, 9:36:20 PM.