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Pride can make us do things that we shouldn’t do.
Narcissists and manipulators can
use our pride to control us, so the sooner you gain control of your pride the sooner
you will have more control over yourself and your life.
You don't have to take part in every argument that comes your way.
People can use pride or an argument to disrupt our thoughts, and as long as we are in the argument they can use it as another chance to outtalk us and bring us around to submission to do as they wish we do and not as we should be doing for our own good.
Say you have decided to lave home, or to go out, and your mind is made up.
Well just
as you get to the door or just half an hour before you are supposed to go they will
get you into another argument,
Bring up things to fear (So you won’t do it),
Create anxiety (So you won’t do it),
Make you cry (so that they can make up with you again by saying sorry and pretending to take care of you,
Bring up an argument that seems to make sense (To make you have second-thoughts),
As you can see they get yu to argue so that you will always give them another chance
to talk you out of what you want to do so that you can submit to them but they make
it look like it is you who has fears, anxieties, and has decided not to go.
Each time
you do as they wish your doubts about what you really want to do grow, as do your
fears,
and their control over you and how they look more superior than your logic grows, and you let them talk you out of stuff all the time.
By not taking part in the argument at all you are free to do as you wish and finally take your life into your own hands without their interference.
By the way, don’t let pride stop you from backing down and then walking off without
telling them.
Or to say something that has them thinking that you are going to stay
put but instead while they are comfortable in thinking that they have overpowered
you once again, you go.
Like “You don’t have to take part in every argument” you also, “don’t have to submit to others opinions or so-called logic”.
I found that Narcissists and manipulator types are very good at arguing and coming up with emotional and logical arguments that appear to be complete common sense, and in other situations they are common sense, but in your case they are to control you.
I have even said to people, “Oh sure, you are right!” or “Oh yes, thats right.” and walked away, to stop an argument forming and then went off and did what I wanted to do anyway. They find out about it later well after the fact of me doing what I wanted to do.
So if they won’t take no for an answer, just agree with them and walk away anyway.
If you are constantly from time to time arguing with the same person or people over the same subject matter it shows you that it means a lot to you or you wouldn’t keep wanting it or to do it and it shows that some people/person are dedicated for suspicious reasons for stopping you.
Another “evidence” of manipulation is that other people say not to argue over certain
things but you find that when it comes to your choices you and certain people or
a certain person are often arguing in that way about a certain thing with the same
people, and they all claim to be doing it for your good, when in reality its all
about them and none about suffering you - better not to argue with such people, just
walk away.
5 Ways to Stop an Argument in Less Than a Minute.
‘You don’t have to attend every argument to which you are invited’
This quote is from an unknown author.
He or she must have known a thing or two about the futility of engaging in every single discussion that comes your way.
The quote is also a proxy for ‘pick your battles’.
There are battles worth fighting and battles that are not.
It may also serve as a reflection on what leaders choose to do.
In organizational life, people are often pulled in too many directions, where ‘signal’ and ‘noise’ get confused all the time.
Big things get mixed up with small things.
The important gets confused with the urgent.
The strategic and the tactical become mixed up.
All things become equally important, equally relevant, equally necessitating a response, to have a say, to send an ‘I agree’ message.
I am not fond of the word ‘prioritization’.
Not that I don’t believe in the need to prioritize, but I have little faith in our standard ways of doing this.
For leaders, a better angle is ‘What will make the difference?’
Or better, ‘What can I personally do that will make the difference, and perhaps only I can do?’
We need to switch from spending our time on ‘managing the inevitable’, to leading what will not happen unless we lead it.
In this quest, you, as leader, don’t have to attend to every argument to which you are invited,
you don’t have to get involved in everything, and certainly, you don not have to spend your time fighting every battle.
The magic word is choice. Choices are always in front of you.
- Leandro Herrero.
“Pick your battles. You don’t have to show up to every argument you’re invited to.” – Mandy Hale.
You Don't Have to Attend Every Argument To Which You Are Invited:
Comment: A participant in one of my workshops gave me this quote, and I am impressed with how it reminds us that we have choices about how we interact with those around us. While this seems somewhat obvious, I would imagine that many of us find these interactions almost automatic (especially around arguments). In other words, when someone "invites us to an argument" by criticizing some aspect of our lives, most of us find ourselves reacting in one of several very predictable ways. We either fight back, defend ourselves, or withdraw.
Arguments between two persons.
That is, arguments between you and one other person or between me and one other person.
These kinds of arguments usually revolve around the following:
Arguing that I’m right and you’re wrong
Arguing that my position is superior to your position
Arguing that my way is better than your way
Arguing that you did what you should not have done
Arguing that you didn’t do what you should have done
These kinds of arguments are rarely productive or enlightening. Each person is usually hardened in their own position and point of view. They see the goal as WINNING. They see the goal as triumphing over the other person. But here are some of the typical results of such arguments.
Feelings are hurt
Someone is offended
Relational strive ensues
One or both parties become angry
Bitterness and resentment follow
Friendships end
You would probably agree that such ‘results’ are too costly. There’s rarely enough gained from such an argument to justify HAVING the argument. Such arguments are better avoided entirely.
Home People. - Stories. - Poetry. Words/Accronyms. Jokes. Idioms. Woodwork. Tools. Gardening.
The Kitchen. Skills. Motivation. Character. Reviews. Movies. School Education.