The Grey Rock Method

James M Sandbrook

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I am a big fan of and user of The Grey Rock Method.

Many religious people become this but don’t realize it.
What it means is that you deliberately become un colourful, you desire to be boring, uncool,

and then people will see you are grey and boring and will not be interested in you being with them.

When it comes to party time on the weekends you are not noticed because people don’t want a grey boring rock at their parties.
In being like this you still have a wonderful life, but you appear as a boring grey rock to the greater public, and this gets you out of all sorts of difficult situations.

Religious people can been seen as boring and having no fun (except the one’s who partake in the very things God tells them not to partake in - hypocrites). so for me being a well known believer in God, no one asks me to parties or anything immoral or involving drugs and alcohol abuse, and this suits me perfectly. I never feel left out because I am so happy and secure in my own life, and I don’t need anyone on the planet to validate my worth, I just get on and do my own thing and very happily.

I don’t feel that I am missing out on anything when people don’t ask me,

I feel like I am saving myself from strife and misery, so I am very happy to stay home.

Being a grey rock means that manipulators can’t talk you into anything that they know that you are not interested in.

So they try to keep you feeling that you need others to be happy, and they want you to think that other people validate your worth, and they want you being un-confidence, insecure, needy and even desperate, so that you will go out with them and once the drugs and/or alcohol get into your system and you are caught up in the moment and high they take advantage of you and have their way.

Some religious women deliberately wear long dresses in their daily lives to put people off, and when people see those dresses they think that the woman is uncool, no fun, and they won’t even bother to say Hello to them, and that is the desired grey rock affect that the religious woman is after.

Manipulators find Grey Rock people very frustrating and like a rock unmoving in their beliefs and therefore can’t use, abuse and manipulate them. So if you make all of your interactions with people you struggle to say No to, as uninteresting as possible, you avoid giving the other person anything they can use to manipulate you. Being a Grey Rock and stubborn means that they will give up on you and that is exactly what you want.

Keep conversation completely non-stimulating, non-suggestive, and don’t react with a smile to what they say, suggest or their witty remarks, just be a grey rock and they will get the hint that you are not interested and are happy as you are without that person in your life.

Having young children helped me as a single dad because I would just always be busy with my children and if asked out by people I would say, “Gee thanks, but no thanks, I would rather stay home with the children.” You tell that to them a few ties and they give up.

People who are immature and need people around them to validate themselves like to party and get as many people to their parties as possible so that they can boost their ego’s and feel popular even if ignored for the rest of the week by the partygoers.
These people want you to go for their sakes, not yours, so not going and knowing that heaps of other people are going or even few are going is a good reason to stay home and be a Grey Rock.

Being a Grey Rock is safety and security, because as long as you come across as boring uneventful, uninteresting and not exciting people will just not want you in their space of which they are desperately wanting to be exciting, random and colourful.

The idea is to be less appealing to people who you don’t feel comfortable with or who take part in activities that you are uninterested in or think are foolish and dangerous. Immature foolish people dislike mature stable people because the immature mind see’s maturity as boring and uneventful, so head for maturity and a reputation of being a strong stable mature person, and immature people will avoid you like you have a disease.

Responding to people with a noncommittal response like not even making an effort for their attention, not looking up when they talk to you, not returning text messages, not responding to them. These small things make sure that they get the message that you are not interested and that you want them gone.

People in the customer service industry learn how to be fake, how to fake laughter when feeling uncomfortable and down, and this can lead to immature people and manipulators to thinking that the fake eye-contact and smiles are because you want to be with them, so you have to make sure that you are not responding to someone you dislike with your fake “work mode” that you instinctively use now when dealing with people who you have to deal with but don't really like, and they think that your response is positive and that you are welcoming that person into your personal space.

You can also organise a phone call when you know that the manipulator is visiting and then when you receive the call stay on the phone for a long time ensuring that the manipulator knows that you don’t care for their attention or time. Or even ask them to leave while you are on the phone explaining that the call is important (Obviously more important to you than that person’s presence in your life).

In the past it was always seen as very impolite to stay at dinner time when visiting, so when you prepare dinner and they make no effort to leave task them to please leave as you are now preparing food for your family. People try to stay (manipulators) to dinner time as they hope that you will feel uncomfortable and will ask them to stay for dinner because they know that you are a good polite person, and they gratefully chip in with a yes knowing that their trick worked. Be a grey sturdy strong rock, kick them out, tell them to go.

To the manipulator as much time as possible with you is what they seek because they are professionals at manipulating people, so they need your ear to manipulate you and get what they want from you. The more time that they can get into your life the more chance that they have of sucking you into what they want you to believe and think.

Its all about getting the message across to a manipulator or people that you are uninteresting and are not interested in what they do and their way of life.

Don’t let the manipulator know what you are up to, or casually say that you deliberately are being a Grey Rock, because if you do them they will try to persist until you give in. Be strong if they find out and double your efforts to be a grey rock, like be out when they visit, go away for the weekend, ignore their phone calls and texts, and don’t get caught up in their emotional drama's.

Expert manipulators use their personal life to suck people into feeling sorry for them, be cool, sympathetic and let them know clearly by cutting off the call or time with them that their emotional situation is sad, you are sad it happened, but you are not going to be the personal one who is going to help them through it. Their problems no matter how bad are not your drama’s/problems.

Laughter, being pleasant, cheerful, agreeable and seductive are the tools of the manipulator, so as a Grey Rock be the opposite, be unsmiling, unpleasant, not happy, unagreeable and very unattractive as possible, and also be firm in your not accepting their approach.

Be firm in your refusals, and let then know that you only see them as a friend and now could they please be off or you will be forced to call the Police - that always gets them

A good tool is bland, emotionless answers from you to make them lose interest in you.

By trying to be cool and popular, a people pleaser, you are making yourself a slave to other people’s manipulative moves in your life and people who are manipulated are never happy or in control of their own lives.

James M Sandbrook

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