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The Gentleman:
As the name suggest he is gentle by nature and kind to all. He tries to be helpful, righteous and wants to respect all.
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The gentleman does not abuse the female in any sense of the word. He treats women with respect even if they don't look or act respectful.
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In Tokoroa the Spring/Summer weather is out and females are dressing is such ways to attract males attention or just to keep cool under the hot sun.
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Many years ago I taught myself to look at a woman's right shoulder as a way of not looking a the parts of her body that she may be showing off and trying to use to catch a males attention. Thankfully I look in peoples eyes when I talk to them so that helps. I feel embarrassed when I see what I know I shouldn't see- strong firm teaching from God has taught me that the flesh is simply a vehicle for the soul in a physical world.
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Now a gentleman knows that if a woman advertises her flesh she is only doing it to catch another persons flesh - the Bible has much to say how this is wrong and a evil trick to pull us away from love and to lust. Have a look in the book of Proverbs and you will read some good advice for a father to son about females trying to seduce males.
If a woman offers her body to a gentleman to show that he is a respectful person and that he respects her even if she herself does not know how to respect herself, he will be polite and say a definite, "No!"
For me it is like this. I don't know her. I want to respect myself. I want my children to respect me and see my life as a good example, especially in this area. I want to respect myself. I know that God is against this and that it separates me from God and I don't want that at all. I have no idea what this cheap thinking female was doing an hour earlier or who she was doing it with and to even touch her in lust would make me physically ill. As well as that she could give me a disease or even lead me to a very slow miserable death simply for a few moments in time of lust. The wise turn away.
Some females in shops or offices wear tops designed so that when they bend over to write something down the male gets a full view of her chest (some don't wear bras but that is not obvious until they bend over). I really dislike this and my teenage daughters struggled with their own faith in the females of the world when they saw professional women trying to catch their father in such a way.
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People may tell stories about us and make claims that we did this and that but when I was a teenager a few females went around town saying that they did things with me and they were all lies. I have learned from this and try very hard not to judge anyone until I see and know the proof.
When a person wants another person for sexual pleasure then all they really want is a sex toy for their own personal use and then throw it away. Even if the relationship leads to marriage this is one of the reasons that so many marriages fall apart today - they are using one another and tire of the same old thing and there is no strength in the marriage because it was sinking in sand from the beginning and should have been built on the solid rock of Love.
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When the physical enjoyment struggles in a marriage it is the spiritual connection that holds them together over the hard times and so the marriage lasts as they rediscover themselves again.
It may seem strange to some to know this but I take no joy in looking at the females walking around. It is of no interest to me because my focus is on the wife that God has for me. All males and female should only think of the one that God has for them and to do otherwise is adultery. How can we expect true love and complain that we don't have it when we are staring at others and abusing other peoples bodies for lust - are we so blind that we think that God does not see this?
God will give us a good person when we deserve a good person. Satan will give us anyone just to laugh at God as people crumble in weakness and lusts that shame us in front of God who has so much hope and love for us.
I do a lot of walking around town and I see lots of females. I am always polite and say "Hello!" and smile. And if I know them I may talk to them.
When I see females in skimpy clothing or mincing down the street I look at gardens (of which I love anyway) or stop to talk to people or cross the road instead of following behind her (this is a recent thing I have decided to do and I feel more at ease and comfortable without having to be subjected to visual displeasure). I cross the road as a sign of respect for the female. I don't want to shame her, even if she thinks that being shameful is fun and something to do to catch males, for me and I know God feels this way, it is wrong to look at people as pleasure toys. Evil wants us to use and abuse one another, God wants us to respect and love one another with spiritual love and care that goes far beyond simple physical relationships.
More than a few times this year while walking with my son Jimmy I ask him to stop for a while and we talk to let some female who is in front of us mincing away in barely any clothing get far ahead of us. I want my boy to grow up to respect women and not to see any attraction to a female trying to catch peoples eyes for attention.
Jimmy (like me) is totally blind to females advances and trying to get his attention. So many times I have seen young ladies try to get his attention and he is talking to me about something he did or something and he has no idea of whats on the girls minds. Even my eldest daughter used to laugh in shops when a woman would be looking at me and trying to get my attention but I wouldn't notice a thing.
My actions at home and out in public show him that respecting women is important. We have had many discussions about modern females and tactics used to attract males. I don't go into detail but I want Jimmy to know that a gentleman always shows respect to all people, especially women and children.
We must make the physical body of no interest until marriage. Not easy in hot weather. If I work in heat or ride my bike I get very faint if in clothing that would over heat me so I know that it is like to try to keep cool and try to be decent as well. Not easy to do somethings, especially in a world that advertises sexual looseness so well and many parents teach their young to be weak like them. This is a severe problem in New Zealand.
If I were walking down the road with my wife and children and a female or females were doing as mentioned above I would take my family elsewhere or we would all cross the road and for me that would be for me to show respect to my wife and children and not subjecting them to that behaviour from females or males and to show that I have no interest in looking at such things.
To be a gentlemen is to show respect to those who don't respect themselves. A gentleman is kind, caring, good and wise. A gentleman is not a fool. A gentlemen is a good husband who loves his wife spiritually and physically with all his heart and soul.
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I hope this helps someone. I was weeding my gardens and this kept running through my head and I also thought of all the young males who, like myself, have (or had) no decent males to help and guide them to being a good decent person.
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Believe me it is possible to live a good decent life and not have any attraction to other people once we know more about God and what love is, spiritual love. The deeper we learn of spiritual love the deeper we come to know God and respect all living creatures. The place for sexual activity should only be in marriage.
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All the best and lots of love from
James M Sandbrook.
October 29, 2012.