Wairakei Place, Tokoroa, New Zealand.
Copyright © All rights reserved. Made by James Martin Sandbrook.
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Weenie Beenies
Written by James Martin Sandbrook (2004)
Weenie Beenies are a race of intelligent life who live in the outback's of New Zealand. They have not been seen often by modern mankind, but they are there just the same living in seclusion and doing their best to keep out of view of humankind.
They were named Weenie Beenies by themselves because they look so much like little brown bean seeds.
By the way, bean seeds are one of their favourite foods and they eat them whenever they can.
How do I know this? I have met them and here I write my own tale about these incredible little creatures.
I was 25 years old at the time this story began and I didn't believe in fairies or anything like that.
I was a matter-of-fact person who had lived a hard life and believed only what I saw. I thought that the world was a harsh place and owed me something, what it owed me I wasn't entirely sure, but I was sure I was due more than what I currently had. I lived in an old cottage just out of town that I rented from a farmer. The cottage was small but the rent was cheap and I didn't have much money so it suited me for the moment until better things came my way.
More about these little creatures though... Other than the bean-seed shaped body the Weenie Beenie has two arms and two stout legs, with a normal sized head on top of the bean shaped body. All around New Zealand are small communities of Weenie Beenies, they are a shy race and they keep away from most of the other life of the world. Weenie Beenies tend to enjoy their own company and have created towns and cities underground, in trees, holes, caves and even in old rusty cans or gum boots (Wellington's). Anywhere - as long as its dry, warm and safe.
When they are found by humans or other animal species on this planet they pull their arms, legs and head into their body much the same way as a turtle does and then keep very still. Humans think that they are bean seeds and put them back down or throw them away. This is a good protection system for the Weenie Beenies. The Weenie Beenies body is hard and if they are stood on by a human or animal they are not hurt. It's not unheard of for a dog to pick up a Weenie Beenie in his mouth and swish it around a few times and then spit it out, Weenie Beenies don't taste good and they often rub themselves down with smelly foul tasting plant juice. Just the thought of disappearing into the big slimy mouth of a dog or cat and then vanishing down into its stomach forever does not appeal to the Weenie Beenies so they have found ways to protect themselves.
Weenie Beenies have families just like you and I and they believe in their God who lives in heaven, and they pray to their God often. They dress in clothes that they make themselves, even though they have hard shell-like bodies they are a warm blooded species and they need to keep warm.
The Weenie Beenies that I found lived in the forests north of the timber town Tokoroa.
This event happened when I was in the bush one day cutting firewood with a chain saw. I was sawing away at some logs when I thought that I saw something moving about 5 feet away to my left. It caught a view of it in my eye for just a second and when I turned and looked properly all I saw was lots of dirt and stones on the ground. I figured that I had seen a beetle or something like that.
I was about to start my chainsaw again when I looked back at the area where I had seen the movement and I noticed that the "beetle" got up on two legs and started running, I dropped the chainsaw and scampered over to find out what it was that I had seen. As soon as it realized that I was near it dropped to the ground again. I kept focus on it and then slowly walked over to it carefully not daring to take my eyes off it.
I reached down and picked it up, it looked like a simple bean seed, but it had some sort of plant wrapped around it. I pulled the plant leaf off it and looked at it. It looked like it had small holes in it so I held it up to the sun and sure enough that's what I saw.
I had a zip pocket on my pants so I unzipped the pocket and put the "bean seed" into it and zipped it up again. I looked up to the sky and saw that there was not going to be much daylight left so I decided to pack up and head back home. This took some time because I had to pack all the wood that I had cut into the back of my old Ford. Some time went by before all this work was completed.
As soon as I got home I went inside to cook some dinner, cutting down trees and then cutting them up, loading them onto my old Ford utility was hard work and always gave me a big appetite. I washed up and then got out an old frying pan and started to put in some food when I remembered the "bean seed" that I had found. I turned off the oven element and went into the lounge and sat down on the couch. I unzipped my pocket and pulled out the "bean seed".
I reached over to the small coffee table and picked up the large magnifying glass that I sometimes use to read small print on documents or newspapers and had a closer look at this strange thing that I had found. I was holding it in my palm when I was sure I saw it move slightly. I blinked my eyes and looked at it under the magnifying glass carefully. I looked into one of the holes and I saw a ever-so-slight movement.
I got up and walked to a kitchen cupboard and opened it and pulled out a tall jar, and I put the 'bean seed' into it and said, "Well whatever you are you can stay in there until you show yourself". I wondered if I had found some new species of insect or maybe it was something never discovered before. I put the jar on the coffee table.
After dinner I sat down on the couch with a hot cup of coffee and looked into the jar, nothing looked unusual. The "bean" was just lying there on its side. While I drank my coffee I watched the jar wondering if I could make money out of this find, if indeed it was some sort of great find. Money I needed, so this was something I thought about often. I tried not to let my need or want for more money to guide my life but sometimes I find that the want for more money did influence the thoughts that I had and helped me make some decisions.
I then went outside and unloaded the wood from the old Ford utility truck and stacked it in the garden wood shed.
I got to thinking that this must be some sort of night bug that only came out at night to look for food, I couldn't feed it because I didn't know what it was and what it ate. I read a few pages out of a book and then went to bed. And since I flunked biology at school I was in no real position to know much about insects at all.
I woke up at ten to two in the morning and decided to check on my little bug friend. I sneaked into the lounge and peeked over the couch and to my amazement I saw, in the moonlight, a small creature standing in the jar on two little legs. I stepped around the couch keeping my eyes on the creature and it quickly pulled it's arms, legs and head back into its body. I picked up the jar and removed the lid. It's little body was rocking gently in the bottom of the jar.
"Okay little fellow, I can see that you are not a bean seed, why don't you come out and show yourself?"
Of course, I didn't expect a reply as I was just talking to myself. I turned on the lamp that was on the coffee table to get a closer look at this thing.
"Promise that you won't hurt me", came the reply that I was not expecting, the voice was small but clear. I stared and blinked a few times. And then I laughed at my imagination, logic quickly stepped in and told me that even if this bug could talk, which was impossible, it sure as heck wouldn't know the English language.
Then I heard the voice again "Well? Promise that you will not hurt me?"
I nearly dropped the jar, I stared with my mouth open like a codfish. Then it spoke again.
"For a big guy you sure seem a bit stupid".
"You can't talk!" I said foolishly abut what was now obvious, still trying to get over the shock of a bean seed talking to me.
Then I saw his head pop out of the seed body and then it's arms and legs, it stood up and looked at me. It didn't look frightened, just a bit unhappy at being in this predicament.
"I was told that you humans were simple thinking and you sure are proving to be just what I expected", said the little chap.
"Who, er, what are you?", I said in a stupid tone.
"I am a Weenie Beenie, surely you have heard of us, we are the most intelligent life form on this planet", said the Weenie Beenie with a firm conviction that he was right.
I raised my eyebrows at this comment and couldn't believe that this bean seed had an attitude as well as could talk.
"What did you say you were, a Tweeny Bwennie?" was my intelligent reply.
The Weenie Beenie sighed and looked at me with dismay, "Father was right about you humans, he said that you believed that you were the most intelligent life on Earth yet here I am standing in front of one and it doesn't even remember what I said a few seconds ago. I am a Weenie Beenie."
"Look you little twerp...", I said. My anger started to rise.
"Oh I see, losing ones temper now are we. Do you really think that calling me names makes you superior to me?", the Weenie Beenie said in a tone of voice that showed his pure disdain for my behaviour.
I took a deep breath and sighed and then wondered if I was still dreaming and this was a nightmare. After all, I was being picked on by an insect the size of a bean seed.
"Feeling better?", it inquired.
"Er, yes", I said.
"Good, lets get down to business. You have to let me go now", said the Weenie Beenie. It spoke slowly so that I would understand. I felt my temper rising again.
"Whoa, not yet little buddy. You must be worth some money. It's not everyday that somebody comes across a talking bean seed."
"Look human - I have tolerated your company and dense attitude long enough. If you don't let me go you will regret it.", said the stern sounding Weenie Beenie.
"I don't want to let you go and as far as I can see you are not in any position to tell me what to do, bean brain.", said I in a happy counting-the-money tone of voice, this little chap could make me millions of dollars. Oh yes I was going to keep him all right.
"Okay you have been warned", said the Weenie Beenie looking at me and shaking it's head from side to side. It then closed it's eyes and started to shake, I stared, not sure what it was doing but I was sure that it couldn't hurt me. It was so tiny.
To be continued… Page Two
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Movies. Music. NZ. OOS/RSI. People. Personal Care. Poetry. Projects. Proverbs. Religion. Reviews. Sewing.
Skills/Hobbies. Slang. Stories. Tips. Tools. Whats It Mean? Words. Woodwork.