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In the Book of Wisdom would be the common sense and logic of having protective Boundaries to keep out the bad in life and to keep in the good.
Like a good strong fence around your home, but this boundary protects your mind, heart, soul and life.

As we grow in life we mature and as we mature we discover that there are some things that are good for us, they are healthy and meet our needs, and some are not good for us and even though they may seem appealing and fun, in the long-term or even soon they would cause us suffering and possibly ill health.

Parents of the past would teach their children about protecting themselves because the parents wanted their children to become strong adults that wouldn’t just fall for anything told to them, and so they wouldn’t follow false teachings, or be taken advantage of or used and abused.

It was of great concern to parents 50-60 years ago to have strong stable children. It was all about good family values, living a life that was healthy, fun and good for all. Parents really took the time to teach their children all that they knew about being wise, self care, self protection and bringing up a strong healthy family

Immature societies breed immature adults who actively take part in the things that are bad for them and their own children, but they cannot see this.

Immature children and immature adults always see themselves as right, and they tend to act childish when told that they are wrong. You know that the adult is immature when he or she reacts badly, childish, violent, or toxic when things happen that they don’t like, or things don’t turn out as they want them to turn out.

So if we have parents like this, as I did, we can struggle to find right and wrong in the world and instead we see a lot of grey areas where things look good for us, seem like fun, but are in reality they have a price that will cause us harm and suffering in the future.

So we need to look after ourselves even if we love and believe in our parents, we need to know that like us they make mistakes too, no one is perfect, we must choose for ourselves and live our own way.

When society practically makes everything legal and a job, such as prostitution you know that the politicians are doing this for tax money which they can spend while in office. When society does not have your back then you would be wise to draw lines around you to protect yourself and you would not ever go over those lines, you won’t let certain things cross those lines to your life.

Drug abuse would be a good example.
So you have decided that you won’t abuse drugs because of the negative effects, or you have given up abusing drugs and you don’t ever want to do that again.
So now drug abuse is put out of your boundaries, you will never let it in again.

This boundary refuses to let drugs into your life and future.

The value of having strong unbreakable boundaries is to strengthen your future, to protect your own life, and to show a decent strong example for others, especially you won children who are always looking up to you as an example of how to live.

The same could be done about many things that you have come to a conclusion that you will not tolerate in your life because you find a strong reason to not include them into your future.

“Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect.” ~ Anonymous.

People come to respect us because we refuse to lower our boundaries for anything.

They see us as people to look up to because of our strong resolve, our refusal to be weak, and our determination to do the right thing when it needs doing.

We remain strong and protective of ourselves and of our children because we refuse to let certain habits, ways people and the like into our life.
This is not being judgmental, it is being wise and protecting ourselves and our futures.

Boundaries define us.They are formed from our values, beliefs, our characters.

If we have few boundaries anyone can come in or out of our lives, we will accept anything, and we will be used, abuse and disrespected by the many.

The wise have boundaries, the many people called the masses tend to be foolish and don’t have many or any boundaries.

The masses tend to act immaturely, act foolishly as one (mob thinking), and lack any form of common sense or logic in what they do, especially as a group.

From Psychology Today:
How to Set Boundaries With Family

•     Value yourself and your time. You are important and deserve to be treated well. ...
•     Give yourself permission to do what's best for you. ...
•     Know your triggers and anticipate them. ...
•     Be clear about your needs and communicate them. ...
•     Practice saying no. ...
•     Make a list of coping strategies.

Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do. ― Rachel Wolchin

Speak in your own voice about the things that matter to you. ― Marty Rubin

I encourage people to remember that “No” is a complete sentence. ― Gavin de Becker

When you say, “No!”, please realise that you are not obliged to explain yourself.

If people love and respect you then as soon as you say that you are not going to do something then they know that you are doing the best for yourself according to your strong beliefs.

If you say no then that is it.
Sneaky people will pick at your boundaries, and they will try to pull them apart to make them look foolish, they will do this with other people to make peer pressure make you feel foolish and then they hope that you will give in to them.

My advice is say, “No!” when you mean it and that's that, you have no need to explain yourself to them.

Get used to saying, “No!”, its a wonderful feeling being in control of your won life.

Once people realise that when you say, “No!” and that you won’t change your mind about it for anything, and you don’t even bother to explain to them, then they will back off because nothing they say to try to convince you to come out of your boundaries will work.

They give up on trying to make you like them.

“No!”, is No, make sure that they know that your answer is the end of story.

When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. ― Brené Brown.

Remember, your protective boundaries show people who you are, and if you keep your boundaries strong and unbreakable people cannot fool, use or trick you.

Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your right to choices. ― Gerard Manley Hopkins

Self love and self care is protecting yourself.

Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring (just) because I don’t do things your way. I care about me, too. ― Christine Morgan.

Setting boundaries means directing your life towards a future that you want to have, a future that suits your soul, your character, your dreams and can make them come true. Not setting boundaries means that you are tossed around so that other people can use and abuse you and you will help their dreams come true at the loss of your own happiness and self respect.

If you have always had trouble setting boundaries then this quote is for you:
The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up, the more difficult boundaries are for you. ― David W. Earle.

Mentally healthy people who are confident and courageous have no trouble setting boundaries and standing strong with them.

Show your children a good example:

You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours. ― Bryant McGill.

It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it. ― Mandy Hale.

Establish boundaries.

Always keep in mind that it is ok to say no to others. Even if they will throw words at you for not doing what they want you to do, then explain to them why you refused. Remember that emotional blackmail is one way that they will be controlling you, so you better read the signs.

Work on your self-esteem. Some people may end up in codependent relationships because of low self-esteem. Then commit to yourself that you will work to improve it. Loving yourself more and trusting yourself more will give you the chance to gain the confidence that can possibly give you a more positive environment.

This way you can interact more with other people and you can feel that there are people who will accept you for who you are. · Free yourself from the other person. Even if you have already talked about it and see no changes from your partner, then it may be time that you cut the cords. No matter how you sacrifice, you can never change an unwilling person. Like you, the motivation to change should come from within and not from somebody else.

Changes are more effective if the urge to change is from you. ·

Be firm. If you have decided to walk out, then there should never be a chance of you thinking to walk back in. Good if you have a cooperative partner, you can both help each other out.

However, if your manipulative partner (or whoever) gives you the drama, the physical, verbal and emotional abuse just to keep you, be firm to stand what you have decided on. It will not be easy as you are used to having this person around.

- Shahida Arabi.

Abrev. Advice. Camera. Character. Children. Computing. Crosswords. Driving. Education. Electronics.  Fitness/Self Defence.

Garden. Health. House Ideas. How To. Jokes. Kitchen/Cooking. Measure. Mechanics/Machines. Motivation.

Movies. Music. NZ. OOS/RSI. People.  Personal Care. Poetry. Projects. Proverbs. Religion. Reviews. Sewing.

Skills/Hobbies. Slang. Stories. Tips. Tools. Whats It Mean? Words.  Woodwork.