Confidence

James M Sandbrook

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Confidence

The best way to teach confidence is to put each child in a position where they can gain confidence.

An example is to put each child in leadership roles where the child is in charge, even of the adults, going through all the children's ages.

An example of this is that you could have say 4 children, two adults, so put together 6 projects that are similar and each child and adult gets a turn at leading the project after some guidance from the adult/s in charge.

My confidence and social skills have never been the best, but my children, all of them far excelled my abilities and it was often from just having the confidence to do things and to be in charge, something that I never got to experience when I was a child.

Each child is taught to respect those who they are teaching and those who are in the project learn to respect the project manager, the one in charge. The child can be taken aside for corrections if you se them going off track or needing to know something, and also just left to see how they do.
It can be amazing watching a child who you think has no real leadership skills when left to their own devices come up looking good with some very good, well thought out ideas.

A lot has to do with balance, and mentally measuring progress and change in each child while giving them all a balanced level of teaching and experiences.

My daughter Rachel was very shy, quiet, and showed no signs of ever being in the main role of anything, as she was always playing catchup to her older sister who excelled in everything she did.

Then, as a child in school a teacher stunned me at parent/teacher meeting when she asked me if Rachel could take the main role in a big play that thy were doing.
Everything I had seen and knew of Rachel was that this was going to be a big failure. But Mrs Bryant was certain that it was worth trying, so I agreed.

Rachel was a blue-baby birth, where they don’t get oxygen for a while, her memory skills were always not that good, so I was weary of her being shamed and publicly embarrassed as a failure on the big night forgetting the lines that she was supposed to say.

On the big night she shone, and for the rest of the week while the play showed through the week nights, as Mrs Shoemaker in the Balmoral School major play called The Elves and the Shoemaker.

Many teachers and parents told me that Rachel was the star of the show, and she didn’t forgot her lines at all.

Sometimes it takes someone believing in us that brings out the very best in us at the time when we really need to shine.

Mrs Bryant has always been a star in my mind because she saw something in Rachel that I couldn't see, and I am forever grateful to he for giving Rachel the opportunity to play the main female role in a play that many people came to see and was a sell out.

Another opportunity for the child is for them to take a class in Homeschooling. Say for instance, a boy does martial arts classes but the other 3 children don't. Then that boy can take the martial arts Homeschooling class and even the adults can be students, or even neighbourhood children. The idea is that art the Dojo the child can learn that weeks martial arts lessons and then teach what he or she has learned to their own family, thus saving money, but more importantly reinserting the lessons learned in the martial arts class at the Dojo by reliving them and taking the place as the Sensei/Teacher and teaching it to the students of their own class.

Homeschooling Parents are often on the lookout for ways to bring out the best in each child and this is done by genuinely caring, watching each child's progress with interest and then putting that child in positions where that child can grow, become confident and as an adult have the courage to take on strong leadership positions while also being a strong leader in the home along with their spouse.

Probably one of the worst sins of the Homeschooling Parents is to choose favourites.

This is a big no, no, and if a parent feels drawn to one child more than the others then that behaviour must be stopped immediately. All of the children should be treated the same, equally and give the same equal opportunities.

I hope that this gives you some ideas about building confidence in your children.

It is really like giving something to a child, like a tool, and as the child gets better at using the tool, the child grows in knowledge and wisdom of how to use that tool, therefore they grow in confidence and have the courage to use that tool to help other people if asked to do so.

An example of this is if your teenager was given a hammer, taught how to use it on a regular basis, and then visited friends home and they were building a shed of wood. The friends ask you and your teenager to help them. With a smile your teenager would pick up a hammer and get into the work happily with no confidence issues at all.

If we teach our children how to do things, get used to it, then it becomes second nature to them and their is no anxiety, or fears, worries etc about having ago, confidently and with courage they do it.

Confidence grows with positive experiences, trials and errors, restarts, and then finally it all sets right in the child’s soul and the initial fears, anxiety etc are gone and experiences

If the parents are not mentally stable and don’t really want to Homeschool, the children will not gain confidence or courage, in fact it will be the opposite effect. To gain confidence the children need to feel encouraged, appreciated, wanted, and that the effort of the parents is not a struggle, a miserable chore, something that they really don’t want to do.

Parent child relationships are very important with Homeschooling. The more positive, encouraging, helpful and caring the experience for the child the better. Interaction with sports groups, hobby groups, activities that involve other children and the like, help the children learn of the more rough and tumble of life. It is very important hat the children feel that home is a safe haven, a place of rest, learning, fun, family and love.

All the best from

James M Sandbrook.

16th of February, 2021.